In Another Life

“Jeanette!” I call out as I open the front door. My foot keeps the door in place as I pull my key from the lock. As I step into the foyer, I deflate a bit, severely wilted by my trek home from the station. “I’m home.”

When there’s no reply, I shrug my shoulders and close the front door behind me. It clicks quietly into place and I toe off my heels before I let my bag fall to the floor with a dull thud. I should really clean that out at some point. I'm fairly certain that I might be able to buy myself a proper meal with the amount of coins at the bottom of my bag.

As I make my way into the living room, I start to sort through the post I’d received earlier this afternoon. There’s the standard stack of junk mail that will go straight into the waste bin, the never-ending collection bills that will go to Tad to be paid later, and a magazine that I’d ordered ages ago.

Gleefully, I toss the magazine onto my coffee table and step into the kitchen where I begin to file away the bills and toss the rubbish post away. As I sort through the numerous envelopes, I start to hum under my breath the song that’s been stuck in my head all day. Jeanette had been texting me earlier while I was at work and she’d quoted a pop song at me and the lyrics have been stuck in my head ever since.

Speaking of Jeanette, I’m surprised that she hasn’t bombarded me yet. She’d been texting me nonstop, claiming extreme boredom and threatening to do something drastic in order to spice things up, as she so eloquently put it. I had visions of coming home to my flat on fire, or of my bedroom painted a completely different color.

“Jean—oh Jesus,” I say as I realize that she’s just in the kitchen doorway. “God, I didn’t hear you at all.”

“That’s because I’m a stealth ninja,” Jeanette smiles toothily at me as she perches herself up onto a barstool. “What happened to you? I thought you got off at 12.”

“I did,” I nod, leaning my back against the counter and crossing my arms over my chest. “But they were doing inventory, so I stayed to help for a bit. I’m not that late, it’s only 2:30.”

“Two hours feels like forever when you’re bored,” She counters, pulling a long face. “I want to know why the telly has such crap shows on in the middle of the day. Honestly, I have never been so bored in my entire life.”

“I think it’s because no one’s really home to watch during the day,” I reply, thinking back to primary school days when I’d skive off classes so I could laze about at home. “That’s why you always keep things recorded so you have something to watch.”

“I’ve already gone through all of your recorded shows,” She mumbles, propping her head up with her hands. “That is how horrendously, mind numbingly bored I’ve been. You should pity me.”

“How’s the job search going?” I ask as I turn towards the sink and pour myself a glass of water. “Any takers?”

Jeanette groans, slumping forward onto the counter. “No! I don’t understand why I can’t even get an interview for anything. I mean, I have experience and I can’t find anything.”

“That’s awful,” My voice is soft and sympathetic. As I speak, I find myself wondering just how my friend is going to manage to pay for her procedure if she can’t even find a job. She’s getting quite far along in the pregnancy—far enough that her weight gain is becoming obvious. “They won’t take you back at the bookstore?”

She shakes her head, looking absolutely miserable, and I know she is just as worried about her situation as I am. Every day that goes by is another day for her to become more at peace, more accepting of the baby that’s growing inside. It’ll make it that much harder for her to terminate the pregnancy if she’s bonded with the child.

“Tell you what,” I say in an effort to break the somber mood that’s settled upon the room. “Go get dressed and we’ll go to the cinema. We can watch that new Cameron Diaz movie. My treat.”

Jeanette’s eyes light up and she grins up at me. “That sounds like fun.”

“Then go get ready,” I laugh, smiling back at her. I know that she is ever thankful for my distraction, even if she’s too shy to vocalize her thoughts. The look in her eyes is more than enough thanks for me.

As she scurries off into her room to get sorted out, I start to make my way towards my own bedroom, intent on changing out of my work clothes and slipping into something more comfortable.

But as I pass the front door, the sudden loud pounding coming from the other side startles me. I certainly wasn’t expecting any visitors and neither was Jeanette, judging by her readily agreeing to go out with me this afternoon.

I stand up on my tiptoes and peer through the peephole to try to see who’s on the other side. But they’re off to the side and I can only see half of their body through the distorted, dirty glass.

They bang on the door again and I frown, my annoyance levels rising as I take a step back. If it were Amanda or Raina or Liv, they would barge right in without even knocking. The only people who would knock that I know of might be my family. And even then, they wouldn’t be trying to beat down the door with their fists just because I haven’t answered in fifteen seconds.

Slowly I pull open the front door and come face to face with an older woman. Her skin is a leathery brown color with prominent wrinkles around her eyes and her lips, from years of smoking, no doubt. Her blonde hair is clearly from a bottle and she has the largest blue eyes that I’ve ever seen, though they’re highlighted in a gaudy shade of green that does nothing for her complexion. I’m more concerned, however, with the large jeweled hoop hanging from her bellybutton, which is exposed by the tight white halter-top that barely keeps her covered.

“This 13 Pratt Street?” She croaks, exhaling a mouthful of smoke in my face. “Hello?”

I wave the smoke away impatiently and glare at this woman. “Yes, it is, but I’m not interested. I think you have the wrong address—”

“If this is 13 Pratt Street, then I have the right place. I ain’t stupid, girl.” She snaps, taking another heady drag off of her cigarette and squinting up at me. “Who’re you?”

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business,” I say frostily, preparing to shut the door in her face. “You’re the one on my doorstep.”

“Bryn,” Jeanette calls from the kitchen. “Who’re you talking to?”

I don’t even bother turning away from the door. “No one,” I call back. It’s not uncommon to hear about someone overdosing in this neighborhood. Maybe this lady is just having a bad trip and thinks she knows me or something.

“Well you’re obviously talking to someone,” My friend’s voice is drawing steadily closer. “Who is—what are you doing here?” She appears behind me and tenses immediately when she sees who’s outside.

“I’ve come to see my daughter,” The woman says in a tight voice. “If she’ll let me, that is.”

It all clicks into place suddenly for me. This is Debbie Cormier. This is Jeanette’s absentee, drug-addicted, compulsive liar of a mother and after disappearing for the last four years, she’s suddenly ended up on my doorstep.

I take a step back, nearly shutting the door in the process, because I know how Jeanette feels about her mother and I know enough to realize that putting these two together is a bad combination. It won’t end well for anyone involved.

My eyes meet my friend’s and we have a silent exchange before she gives me the slightest of nods. Reluctantly, I look back at Debbie and she’s glaring at me with vicious eyes.

I step back and motion for Debbie to come inside. “Ah,” I hold up my hand as her left foot descends into the doorway. “No smoking. You’ll have to finish that outside before you come in.”

“Lighten up,” Debbie rolls her eyes, but stubs the ember out on my railing.

I resist the urge to get upset over that and instead allow Jeanette to lead Debbie into the living room. After shutting the front door behind me, I hover on the outskirts of the room, unsure about where my place is. I’m more than okay with taking a walk across the street, but I’ll stay if my friend needs me.

Much to my relief, Jeanette pats the spot next to her and shoots me a pleading look that quickly dissolves once she realizes that Debbie is watching her with the eyes of a hawk.

I slip next to my friend and wait for the exchange to begin. If I’m feeling this nervous about this meeting, then I cannot even imagine just how Jeanette is feeling right now.

“So why are you here?” Jeanette cuts to the point efficiently.

Debbie has the decency to look affronted at her daughter’s words. “Can’t I visit my own daughter without there being an ulterior motive?”

“No,” Jeanette replies flatly. “There’s a reason why I didn’t give you my new address. Did you bully it out of Gran again?”

She’s referring to the fact that even though Ophie, her grandmother, knows that Debbie is a worthless mother, Debbie is still Ophie’s daughter. Jeanette’s gran is a bit of a pushover when it comes to Debbie. I guess she still harbors the idea that maybe, one day her child will clean up her act.

“I just wanted to know where my child was living, since she apparently doesn’t live in her old apartment anymore.” Debbie’s eyes are wide and deceivingly filled with hurt. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me that you are having money issues. Instead you went to Mum, and not me.”

“What would you have done, Debbie?” Jeanette asks, her jaw tense. “It’s not like you have any spare money lying around to help me out.”

“Well,” Debbie tosses her hair over her shoulder. “I would have done my best to help you. You didn’t have to resort to… other means for help.”

“There we go,” Jeanette sighs, leaning back against the sofa cushions. “And that’s the real reason you’re here, isn’t it? Because I got into contact with Roger.”

The wounded airs that Debbie’s been sporting for the past few moments immediately disappear and her face hardens into an angry scowl. “I did everything in my power to keep you away from that vile man and you ignored it.”

“He didn’t do anything,” Jeanette raises her voice in order to be heard. “You were drunk the entire relationship, so how would you remember anything about him?”

“I know enough!” Debbie spits out, her eyes flashing. “He was a cruel man and I saved you and Sarah from him. I only wanted what was best for the both of you—”

Jeanette rolls her eyes. “Stop. You were fucking Paul while you were with Roger. I’m not stupid, I know the dates between Sarah and Henry. You kept him from us for 20 years. Do you have any idea how much that screwed me up?”

“I did it for your own good! Everything I did was for you,” Debbie insists. “As your mother—”

“No,” Jeanette shakes her head. “You’re not my mother. You’re just an egg donor, as far as I’m concerned. And honestly? I wish you had just let him take us when he offered. Clearly Sarah and I are a burden to you.”

“What does Roger have that I don’t have?” Debbie shrieks, her body rigid and tense in the armchair. “You went years without him and the only reason you’re finding him now is because you’re knocked up.”

Next to me, Jeanette stiffens and inhales sharply. I’ve no doubt in my mind that she’d gone to her gran in the hopes that she’d be able to help her out with the medical expenses. But clearly Ophie spilled Jeanette’s secret to Debbie.

“You don’t even deny it,” Debbie shakes her head, smiling victoriously. “I should have known. The only reason you’re crawling back to your precious daddy is because you need the money to erase your mistakes. Do you really think he’s going to hand over a check, just like that?”

“It isn’t about the money,” Jeanette says in a soft voice as she stares down at the carpet. “I didn’t even know about it. I just wanted to get to know the man you kept from me for 20 years.” Here her chin comes up and she smiles spitefully at Debbie. “I wanted to know what it was like to have a proper relationship with a parent who’s not drunk all the time. What do you want, Debbie? Did you come here to gloat?”

Debbie glares at Jeanette with such intensity that I’m a bit taken aback. I cannot even imagine Mum looking at me like that. How can a mother loathe her own child so darkly?

“I came here because your precious heroic father that you’ve clearly deluded yourself into thinking will save you isn’t the man you think he is,” Debbie sniffs, her hands twitching in her lap. “He’s using you.”

“For what?” Jeanette laughs, rubbing at her face. “I don’t have anything to give him. What does he stand to gain by coming back into my life, hmm? A proper relationship with his firstborn daughter?”

“He just wants money!” Debbie shouts, dipping into her bag for a thick stack of papers. “Do you know what this is?” She sneers as she begins unfolding the papers. “This is a summons from the courts. He’s suing me for keeping you and Sarah away from him.”

Jeanette doesn’t even bat an eye. I’m not sure if she already knew that Roger was planning on suing Debbie, or if she’s just not surprised that another parental figure in her life is basically screwing her over for personal gain.

“That’s all you are to him,” Debbie continues. “You’re just a big pound sign in his eyes. Did you honestly think he’d want anything to do with you? You’re the 22-year-old blunder that’s suddenly sprung out of the woodwork and spoiled his perfect life. He’ll sue me, get a settlement and then never talk to you again. And why should he? You’re nothing but a mistake from another life who’s carrying around a bastard child—”

“Shut up.”

Jeanette turns to me with a surprised look on her face and it’s only then that I realize that I’m the one who’s spoken those two words. Even Debbie looks shocked that I’ve interrupted her.

My hands are shaking and I can feel the blood rushing to my face. I am positively seething with rage towards this despicable creature in front of me. None of the stories that Jeanette has told me due her any justice. She’d given her far too much credit, in my opinion.

“Just shut the fuck up,” I say lowly. My voice is trembling with anger and I barely register Jeanette touching my arm. “And get out of my house.”

“And who are you to come into this? This doesn’t involve you,” Debbie hisses, glaring at me. “Didn’t your mother ever teach you to respect your elders?”

“She did,” I reply in a tight voice. “And I would show them respect, but right now, all I see are two adults and a whiny little brat who’s upset that karma’s come back to bite her in the arse. I will not repeat myself again, get out of my house.”

Debbie laughs in her thin, reedy voice. “I didn’t know you surrounded yourself with such trash, Jeanette. If I’d have known who you were spending time with, I’d have stopped—”

“Stop it, Debbie.” Jeanette says quietly, refusing to look at her mother. Instead she stares down at the carpet and rubs her temples as if she’s warding away a headache. “Just stop. I’m done. Leave.”

Debbie flounces out of her seat, her eyes narrowed maliciously. “If I’d have known I was going to raise such an ungrateful bitch, I’d have aborted you.”

“Well good,” Jeanette snaps, clearly at the end of her limits. “Then I wouldn’t have ever had the displeasure of meeting you!”

Just as Debbie opens her mouth to respond, I stand up from my perch on the sofa. I’m not sure if it’s how quickly I was moving, or if Debbie saw the rage on my face, but she takes a few steps away from me.

She mutters darkly under her breath as she gathers together her papers and her purse and as she stomps towards the door, I catch a few choice words that make me cringe inwardly. She pauses in the doorway, throws her daughter one last vehement glare and then slams the front door shut with such force that the walls shake.

The silence that comes after her dramatic exit is a drastic contrast from the past twenty minutes. Slowly I sink back down next to my friend and exhale heavily, relieved that the disastrous meeting is over without too much damage.

I clear my throat and turn towards my friend, a bit afraid of what I might see. “Are you alright?” I ask quietly.

Jeanette nods, her lips pressed together in a thin line. I’m not sure if this is from suppressed anger or tears. I’ve no idea if I want to find out either.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I try again hesitantly.

She shakes her head, still staring down at the carpet. It’s clear that the stress from the last few months of her life have taken their toll on her. Her shoulders are slumped and the bags on her eyes seem more prominent to me. It makes me wish that I could just take all of this away from her.

“Okay,” I say in a soft voice, rubbing my palms against my legs absentmindedly. “We don’t have to talk about it, but I’m here if you need me.” Once she nods, I stand up from the couch and start to make my way towards my bedroom.

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell Amanda or Raina about this,” Jeanette pipes up suddenly. I turn in time to see her raise her head. “I just—I don’t want anyone’s sympathy.”

I nod, tucking a loose strand of hair back behind my ear. “Your secret’s are always safe with me. You know that.”

“I know,” She whispers, meeting my eyes and offering up a small smile. “Thank you.”

“Anytime, love. Anytime.”