What Makes It Wrong for Us to Fall in Love?

I ran into our hotel room where I saw Kennedy towel drying his hair in front of a mirror like I did earlier.

His eyes shifted to and away from me in a second, then he locked me in a stare. "Babe, you're crying."

I nodded before he let me into his arms.

"Why? Why are you crying?"

I didn't even answer when he backed off from me and ran to the doorway where Nick was standing.

And the next thing we knew, Nick fell to the floor after Kennedy punched him in the face.

"Kennedy, no," I pulled him away.

Kennedy shook his head. He was furious. He pushed Nick one more time before I forced the door close.

"Kennedy, no." I scolded him like a dog-owner would to his pet after it started chewing on his shoe.

He sighed as he pulled me into a kiss. "Don't cry. Please?" He mumbled. "I'm just gonna be honest here, okay, I don't wanna see you crying right now! We've been okay for seven weeks, Jess, and yes, I keep track of the time we're together. Come on, don't cry!"

Well, instead of leaving that day itself, Kennedy and I ended up having sex and blowing leaving off till the next day.

We went on with casual hotel life till we left.

The morning after, Kennedy and I fixed ourselves up, recollected our things from the room and checked out of the hotel.

Then we went.

And weather in California wasn't as consistently hot as it was in Arizona, let me tell you that.

It was raining. Maybe that's why Kennedy was driving so fast.

No.

I was scared.

"Kennedy, slow down,"

"Babe, put your seat belt on." Kennedy requested.

"Kennedy, please slow down--"

"Put your fucking seat belt on, babe." He said, getting mad at just my second refusal.

"Kennedy, stop the car."

"Babe, put your seat belt on." He commanded again.

"Slow down first. Please?" I said please.

"Babe, please put your seat belt on." He said please.

"Slow down--" I whined.

"Babe, put the God damn seat belt on!" He yelled.

And because the minutes before, what I've been doing was just staring out the window, when I looked at Kennedy, I saw a truck's headlights and a split second, Kennedy got his seat belt off and he bent over to me after he pushed the steering wheel to get the car going at a different direction. He locked me in his arms while the car spun out of control after skidding off a truck, using his back as shield for me from the glass above the dashboard that shattered as the car hit a post after it skidded into another car.

It happened too fast; Detail isn't important. It wasn't then and it still isn't now.

"I told you to.. Put the.. God damn.. Seat belt on." Kennedy said in between short breaths. "Are you.. Hurt? Are you.. Okay?"

I clutched onto his shirt and cried. I was fucking scared. I thought we were gonna die.

When you get that close to death, you'll understand.

"I'm sorry.." He said over and over with each short breath he heaved. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I am so fucking sorry. Are you okay? Are you hurt? I told you to put your seat belt on. Are you okay? Did you get hurt?"

I was fine. I wasn't hurt. I wasn't in any physical pain. I was completely fine because of Kennedy. "Are you? Did you?"

"I'm okay if you are," He muttered. He kissed my forehead before he kicked the door on my side open.

But he didn't move.

"Kennedy, what's wrong?"

"Something," Kennedy looked down at his ankle.

A big piece of broken glass was caught in a rip in his jeans.

There was blood all over his foreleg.

"Kennedy, shit, you're bleeding!" I yelled in panic.

"It's fine," He muttered.

If there was something he clearly wasn't that moment, it was afraid of blood.

He reached down and snatched the glass off. Then he looked at me. "Babe, why are you crying?" He asked, pushing hair out of my face. He was crying too. "Did you get hurt?" He pushed my hair out of my face.

"Stop worrying," I cried as I hugged him.

He struggled for a moment to open the glove compartment without turning around and succeeded at that. He had his phone in one hand and the battery on the other. "Here," He handed me the phone and battery. Then he jumped out.

He let out a little whimper while he fell on his ass and pulled his jeans up to reveal his cut. "Wow, that is a lot of blood."

I was in so much panic that I couldn't bring myself to fit the battery into the phone.

Kennedy sensed that panic and tried to remain as calm as possible. "Babe, I'm fine."

"What are you doing?" I asked and bent down to him. "You're not fine, Kennedy, you're fucking hurt--"

"I'm trying to be strong for the both of us here, Jess, cooperate. Please." Kennedy held his arm out.

I took his hand and put his arm around me. "I love you, Kennedy, I love you so much."

"I know," He muttered.

"No, Kennedy, you don't." I pushed his sweaty hair out of his face and stared at the stress he was having. "What if I lost you, Kennedy, what if you fucking died trying to save me? I could never live through that, Kennedy, I just fucking couldn't without even letting you know how much I love you.. How much you mean to me, Kennedy.. Kennedy,"

"Jess," He smiled. "Stop, come on, stop crying."

"How can you tell I'm crying, it's raining,"

"I know you, come on, Jess, stop crying. I'm here. We're fine."

I hugged him for a moment before the image of the other car we skidded past flashed through my head.

I darted off Kennedy. "The other driver, Kennedy, the other driver. What happened to him?"

Kennedy squinted and looked around while I just stared at him.

With the rain, he couldn't see clearly.

And with tears in my eyes, it made it twice as hard for me.

I blinked my tears away to see the car, but I only started crying harder. "Kennedy, oh no."

"Babe, what's wrong?"

I saw the car which hit the pole opposite the one we hit in the highway.

I couldn't speak.

No words could describe my predicament.

That car we skidded across?

Well..

I knew whose car it was.