What Makes It Wrong for Us to Fall in Love?

"Babe, what's wrong?" Kennedy questioned worriedly again.

No, with rain falling down on his face, his eyes couldn't see through anything.

"I know whose car it is." I blankly said.

Kennedy fisted his eyes and looked clearly.

I waited for everything to register onto his head for a second, then we both just ran to the car.

And there he was.

Sitting unconscious on the driver's seat, blood trickling down a giant wound on his forehead.

He didn't have his seat belt on.

But I refused to believe he was really unconscious. I've gone deranged over him. "Stephen, wake up. You dick, wake up."

"Babe,"

"No!" I yelled. I forced that door open and just hugged him. "Wake up, you dick, wake up!"

"Babe, we'll call nine-one-one, don't touch him--"

"No!" I argued as he tried to pull me away from Stephen, whose blood was soaking my shirt.

"Babe, help's on the way, we can't mess around this shit."

Kennedy's words only drowned out in my ears, all I was thinking about was Stephen.

He was fucking dying in my arms.

"Stephen, don't do this to me. You dick, how unfair! You can't die on me now, you bastard!" I cried. "Stephen, wake up, stop it.."

He sat there. No response.

I couldn't even tell if he was breathing. "Stephen, what are you doing in California," I groaned even though I knew I wasn't going to get a reply.

Kennedy dredged his way back to our van and used my phone to call help instead because I dropped Kennedy's phone on the wet ground.

Help was on the way.

--

"Babe,"

I looked up to see Kennedy limping his way over to me.

"Hey," He greeted. He sat down next to me. "What are you doing out here?"

Opened my mouth, but nothing came out.

"The nurse at the counter told me Stephen's fiance was watching him, why aren't you in there?"

"Fiance?" I repeated.

"Yeah," Kennedy took my hand and pointed at my ring.

I pulled my hand away.

It didn't matter.

I was outside because I couldn't take to see Stephen like that.

It fucking hurt me.

Kennedy got first aid for the massive cut he had on his leg then he was taken to the local police station to get asked some questions.

While I was allowed on the ambulance with Stephen.

I couldn't even tell if he was breathing, I was crying too hard.

I couldn't even talk.

They rushed him to the ER while I stayed behind.

After Stephen was assigned to a room, they immediately told me.

I wanted to go in.

But I was to weak.

So I sat outside and cried for what seemed to be about two hours.

"I phoned John when I got to the police station," Kennedy informed me. "He's gonna be here soon.. You should go in there.."

"Are you allowed in?"

"Yeah.."

"Then come with me. Please?"

"You don't even have to ask,"

--

"He's gonna be okay," Kennedy told me for the millionth time.

Stephen was declared in a coma rather quickly.

I sighed for the millionth time in response. Before I could muster up any words to say, the door swung open.

"Stephen!" John exclaimed as he entered the room.

Josh was close behind him.

I haven't even blinked when John zoomed to Stephen's bed side.

No, John didn't need anything else, he knew exactly what was going on with his brother and he was hurt about it a lot.

But that didn't stop him from yelling.

"Stephen? Stephen? It's John! John's here! You can wake up now.." John cried. John cried. In no time, tears were streaming his cheeks.

Josh stood there in pity for his best friend for a while.

"Stevie, it's Johnny! Johnny's here, can you hear me?" John whined. "I brought you Taco Bell! You love that shit! Johnny's hear, Stevie, he's never leaving your side till you wake up! And you have to do that soon--"

"John, come on.." Josh, who had already gotten off his seat, patted John on the shoulder.

"Stephen, wake up..." John begged while he clung to Stephen's hand. "Wake up..."

"John," Josh tried to pull him away.

"No!" John yelled, then pushed Josh away. He glared at me. "Bitch, this is all your fault!"

I looked down.

He stomped his way to me and started bitch-slapping me. "Bitch, bitch, bitch! Why are you fucking ruining my life?!"

I didn't even try to stop him.

I deserved every single ounce of pain(both physical and emotional) John was inflicting on me.

"Do you know that Chelle fucking broke up with me?! Yeah, she did! The girl I've been going out with, the girl I've been fucking in love with for four fucking years broke up with me! Why? Because the first time I ever sleep with her, I fucking leave her for California the morning after before she even wakes up because my brother's in a fucking hospital in California, in a fucking coma, because he ran after you!"

"It's not my fault he ran after me." I blurted out.

"Bitch, what?!" John grabbed my hair and made me look into his tear-filled eyes. "Say that again, Jess, fucking say it again!"

But I didn't. Because I didn't mean it.

"You're fucking ruining my life, Jess, you're fucking ruining my life!"

I looked down.

"Bitch, you God damn bitch!" John continued trying to hurt me. "God damn bitch!"

Didn't look up.

"You're fucking ruining my life! I swear, Jess, I fucking swear, if Stephen doesn't make it through this, I am never going to forgive you, I am never going to fucking forgive you, Jess, you hear me?!" Then he pushed me one more time.

I bumped into someone on the way back. So I turned around. "Garrett?"

"I had to.." He bit his lip. "I had to see Stephen,"

Behind him was Pat who, I was guessing, was just dragged over to California by Garrett.

Pat saw me crying, then he immediately took me into a hug. "Aw, Jess."

And I wasn't even comfortable.

A hug from him was exactly what I needed and I couldn't fucking enjoy it because I didn't deserve his comfort after what I did.

Instead of letting me go, he hugged me tighter. "Are you okay?"

Damn it, Pat.

I freed myself from him. I weakly smiled at him as a 'thank you' then looked at Stephen again.

Garrett stood next to me, but he was staring unlike me who was just plain looking.

John was still trying to wake Stephen up.

He was going crazy.

It hurt to see him like that.

What hurt more was knowing that it was my fault.

It's always been that way.

" Stop," Josh tried to pull John away from Stephen, but in return, got punched in the eye by John with the kind of force he couldn't use with me because I was a girl.

No, Stephen raised him better than that.

"John," Josh stayed calm and ignored John's violence. "John, this isn't helping,"

"Then what?! Fucking what'll help?! Huh?! It's better than doing nothing, my God damn brother's fucking dying!" He screamed.

"John," Josh forced John away from Stephen. "He'd hate seeing you like this if he was awake,"

"I don't fucking care if he hates it!" He cried. "He's my fucking brother, he's supposed to understand!"

Josh nodded while John started crying to him. He comforted him for minutes before John finally calmed down.

In a while, John fell asleep on the chair I was sitting in, next to Stephen.

Josh got a black eye that showed after a few hours.

And I was crying the entire time.

I didn't wanna lose him.

After all, he was my best friend.

He had been for almost 7 years and a friendship that long doesn't fade away and start meaning nothing to just anyone.

And I wasn't just anyone.

I was Jessica Marie fucking Bowen and I finally had the guts to admit that I could not fucking live without Stephen.

How I even lived before I met him, I don't know.

I needed him, and I didn't want to lose him to a stupid car accident.

A car accident that was never supposed to happen to him.

Through John's sobs, we came to find out that the entire reason Stephen was in California was because he found out, was because Pat told him, that we were there.

He had no idea why he was going but he had to because he needed me too.

Stephen was dying in there.

And it was my fault.

Fuck it.