What Makes It Wrong for Us to Fall in Love?

I walked over to Stephen, tears still in my eyes. "Stephen?"

No response as expected.

I pulled a chair over to his bedside and took his hand. "Stephen.."

No response.

I bit my lip.

Looking around, I realized no one was there.

For one, I knew Garrett and Pat left after John yelled at me.

But as to where Kennedy and John and Josh were? I had no idea.

Then I couldn't help myself.

I threw my arms around his half-dead body and started crying hard all over again. "I'm so scared, Stephen, I need you, Stephen, you can't fucking leave me.. You're my best friend.. You're my other half, Stephen, I fucking need you. I don't know what I'd do without you, Stephen, I don't fucking know." I sobbed. "Please Stephen, please? Please don't die."

I didn't realize that someone had already entered the room till whoever that was started speaking.

"That's a funny thing to ask him,"

I pulled away from Stephen and wiped my tears up quickly, but they kept coming. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to visit, I even brought Stephen flowers." He shrugged then put a bunch of cheap flowers down on the side table. He looked down at me. "Do you need a hug?"

Without thinking, I just got up.

I didn't have to move, he immediately wrapped me in his arms. "There, there."

"You know that this is all my fault, right?" I mumbled.

"No," He whispered. "This isn't your fault."

"How are you so sure?"

"I'm not." He rested his chin on the top of my head after kissing my forehead. "I'm never sure, you know that, doll."

"But Jawn,"

"Doll, you wanna know something?"

"What?"

"That could've been me." He muttered. "Doll, that could've been me. I'm sorry it wasn't. I was.. Planning on going when Nick told Pat.."

"What?"

"You heard me."

"I'll pretend I didn't so you say it again,"

"Doll, I was planning on coming here, okay? I'm not sure why I wanted to, but... I just.. Yeah.. Then.. I found out Stephen went.. So I decided to let him get at it first.. I was thinking he'd patch things up with you first. Then I'd get to patch things up with Kennedy, but apparently, that's not happening now.. So yeah, I'm not sure why I went here,"

"You don't even know why you're here?"

"I'm not sure." He answered. "I'm here for a reason, I'm just not so sure what it is yet."

"You didn't come here to do this, did you?"

"No.." He kept his whisper on. "I was thinking when I got here, I'd get to be a bastard and walk around like I fucking own the place and be a fuckass to you.. But then.."

"But then what?"

"But then I saw you crying."

"Why does it matter?"

"I'm not sure why it does." He combed through my messy hair with his fingers. "You're just so vulnerable right now."

I nodded. I accepted that. I knew I was a vulnerable piece of shit.

"Doll, it's hurting me so much to see you crying like this.."

"Didn't it always," I scoffed.

"It always did." He answered. "Damn it, doll, please stop crying.."

"Really, Jawn, you're really asking me to stop crying? Now?"

"No," He sighed. "Okay. Let it all out, doll."

"Jawn, it hurts." I cried. "It hurts."

"What, doll?"

"Everything, Jawn, every fucking thing.."

He nodded. "Everything's going to be alright."

After standing there in silence for a few more minutes before I finally calmed down, Jawn spoke up.

"Where's Kennedy?"

"I don't know."

"Pat and Garrett are outside.." He informed me. "Do you want me to let them in?"

I simply nodded.

He pulled off from me and kissed my forehead one more time. "Hush now, doll." Then he opened the door.

Pat saw me crying and immediately enveloped me in a comforting hug.

"Thanks, Pat, I need this." I mumbled against his shoulder.

"Sh, stop crying!" Pat hissed. "Stephen's gonna be so upset! He can wake up any minute now, you don't want him to wake up to you in tears, do you?"

"No, he's never gonna wake up.."

"Honey," Pat tightened his hug.

"I don't want him to die, Pat." I whined.

"I'm sorry, this is my fault.. I shouldn't have told him I knew where you were.." He apologized.

"Don't think this is your fault," I sniffed. "Pat, none of this is your fault. It's all mine,"

"None of this is your fault either, Jess, come on. Don't be so hard on yourself.."

After crying a little bit more, Pat finally let go of me.

Then we looked at Garrett who did nothing but stare at Stephen with a blankly hurt expression.

Stephen meant something to him too, if not a lot.

Pat patted Garrett's shoulder. "You okay?"

Garrett skimmed a nod before looking away from Stephen. "Is he okay?" He asked me.

I shrugged. "I don't think he's okay."

Garrett sadly bobbed his head up.

Then Kennedy, Brian and Jared came and invaded the hospital room with us.

"Hi," Jared closed the door. "I brought food."

"What food?" Jawn asked.

"Pizza." Jared answered casually. He put the food down and looked at me. "Jess, hey."

"Jared," I managed to reply.

He looked into my eyes then read through me. "Aw, Jess." And then he hugged me.

I enjoyed his bear hug while I cried. "Thanks."

"He's gonna be okay, Jess." He assured me. "He's gonna be okay."

"That's what you're all telling me."

"Because that's what we believe's gonna happen, have a little faith, Jess."