What Makes It Wrong for Us to Fall in Love?

"Pat, come on! Stop being so fucking immature!"

"So I'm immature?"

"Yes, Pat, you fucking are! You're an immature little ass! You won't even tell me why you're so upset!"

"Why I'm so upset? Garrett, you made my finger bleed, I don't know what you did or how you did it, Gare, but it hurts!"

"Pat, come on!" Garrett yelled. "There's more to that. I know there's more to that! Tell me! What the fuck is this really about?!"

"Nothing." Pat quieted down.

"Patrick, that's what's fucking wrong with you! I give you the chance to tell me what the fuck is going on in your head and you just pass it up like it's not important!"

"Gare,"

"Pat, can you just quit being a bitch for one second and--"

"Your words are hurting me."

"You're not supposed to fucking get hurt over this! That's another thing with you, Pat, you get too fucking sensitive over things that don't matter and you never let me fucking finish anything I have to say! What I say matters too, Pat!"

"Why do you think I don't care? Why? What makes you think I don't care? I care a lot, that's the only reason I get so sensitive when it comes to you. Because you're my only friend most of the times, and.."

"What? Go on."

"You don't care." Pat said. "That's it. You don't care. That's what this is about. You don't care about me, you don't care about how I feel."

"Patrick, this again?! Really?! How many times have we talked about this?! How many times?!"

"I don't keep count."

"If you would just suck it up and get over being a bitch for a second, you'd understand! If you would just fucking listen to me before you call the fucking shots, then maybe you'd understand too! Christ, Pat, I've been there for you for so long now! I don't understand how through all we've been through, you get the idea that I don't fucking care about you or how you feel. I do, Pat, I care a fucking lot and that's why want you to fucking talk to me!"

"Why aren't you sensitive enough to tell me that without yelling at me or without calling me an immature ass? You know I hate it when--"

"Fucking talk to me! God, Pat, why do you say the most useless things?!"

"See, there it goes again!" Pat's voice started cracking. "There it goes again! I'm sorry I'm so immature, I'm sorry I'm so useless, I'm sorry I can't do any God damn thing on my own! I just thought you learned to accept that about me already! Apparently not! I ask you to freaking cut my fingernails for me and you go all ape-shit and--"

"I didn't do it on fucking purpose, Pat, I would never fucking hurt you on purpose! Your hair was in the fucking way, okay, your hair was in the way and I couldn't see--"

"You've done it a million times before! You've cut my nails for me a million times before and you've hurt me on purpose a million times before too!"

"You think I actually mean to hurt you?! No, damn it! I just want to fucking know what's wrong so I can fucking fix it, and right now, you're sort of getting in the way of that!"

"Fine! You want me to be honest?! Fine! I just got really upset at first because I think you killed my nail, but that doesn't really matter right now. I'm really upset because you're just yelling at me when you know I hate it when you do! I'm really upset because you're telling me I'm an immature ass who can't do anything on his own when I thought you were the only one who'd never call me out for being myself--"

"What?! Really?! Seriously, after every fucking thing we've been through and after all those fucking times we've been together, right fucking now, you still managed to think I don't care about how you feel?! Pat, I do!"

"No, you don't! You care about Stephen more--"

"Oh, fuck! I think I get it now! Jesus, Pat, you got jealous of Stephen! Because for a second, I preferred to be with him and not with you! That's what this is about, right, Pat?! You're upset because you think I really wanted to watch someone fucking die instead of cut your nails for you! Is that it?! Huh?! Just say yes, Pat!"

"Then yes!" Pat screeched. "I got jealous! Hello, you're the only person I'm sure is my friend, and I didn't wanna lose you to someone who was already dying--"

"Pat, I thought we've gone over that?! You just wanna keep bullshitting this relationship!"

"I don't, Gare--"

"Why don't you fucking understand that you'll always be my best friend?! Huh?! You don't think I get jealous when you prefer to be with Jess?! Remember Jess's twentieth birthday?! You didn't stop to think that I decided to drink because I got really lonely without you! And then I looked for you, right? I was drunk, right?! And you even told me off for drinking!"

"That was different, Jess needed me--"

"And Stephen doesn't need me now?! It's no different! Fuck, Pat! I just want you to stay out of Jess's problems for one second and remember that your best friend gets lonely without you!"

"So the truth comes out, you just didn't wanna lose me either." Pat calmly concluded.

"You're my best friend, Patrick. Just know that I really care about Stephen. He's my friend, okay, he's the only person who can stand to be with me while listening to Ryan Adams, but he doesn't take your place at all. Don't ever think I'm gonna ditch you for him. It was just a while ago.. I.."

"I'm sorry." Pat looked down.

"I'm sorry too." Garrett sighed.

"Garrett, I'm really sorry." Pat apologized again.

Garrett shook his head. "Same here." Then he sighed. "Without yelling, here it goes again: I'm sorry for wanting to be with Stephen for a while. I just.. Really care about him. And.. Shit, I'm really sorry about what happened with your nail, and I swear to God, Pat, I didn't mean to hurt you. Your hair really was in the way and the fact that I was all pissed because of Stephen had nothing to do with what happened to your nail.

"I swear, Pat, I didn't mean to hurt you like that, and I promise, I won't ever let it happen again. And.. Yeah.. Don't think I don't get jealous or whatever either when you decide to spend more time with Jess.. Because I do.. And I worry about you because Jess has so much going on, and I know you're only trying to help.. But you're getting yourself in trouble too, and as your best friend, I don't really like letting that happen.

"Like.. For example, when you told Jawn where you were, he just pushed you like you were some piece of furniture, if that even makes sense, and you almost fell and hit your head on your drum set, Pat, that's a lot of danger. And.. Just.. For a second, please, just stay out of Jess's problems. They're not your problems, okay, Pat? I know you feel this need to help Jess, but trust me, Pat, there is no helping her right now.

"Her best friend's dying, okay, and the only thing we can do is be there for her."

"I know.." Pat looked down. "But I can't help it, she's also my friend and.. I just.. Don't.. She doesn't deserve to be in this trouble, Gare, she doesn't.."

"No one ever deserves to be in shit this deep, Pat, no one. But Jess is in it, and.. We just have to pull her out, okay, we don't have to get in it too."

While I watched them argue before Garrett finally calmed down, everything sort of cleared it up for me.

Garrett was wrong.

It wasn't Pat bullshitting their relationship.

It was me.