What Makes It Wrong for Us to Fall in Love?

"Don't get cute with me." I let a giggle out.

He put on a goofy grin which I immediately questioned.

"What?"

"You think I'm cute." He rubbed it into my face, the fact that I did.

"How immature could you get-- Where are you going?" I asked as he got up from next to me and left me not even bothering trying to stop him as he walked to the other couch.

"Nowhere." He sat down.

"Care to explain why you want to be three feet away from me?"

"Fighting the urge to wanna make out with you." Stephen laughed, crossing his legs.

"Are you kidding me?"

"No. No I'm not." He ruffled through his hair. "I really wanna talk to you. And that won't happen if I'm too busy sucking your face off."

"Is that so," I found a cozier position on the couch by curling up and stretching Stephen's shirt down in failed attempts to try to cover my legs up.

"Yup."

"So let's just talk." I smirked.

"Where do we start?"

"Maybe why you didn't tell me you liked me?" I suggested.

He sighed. "I don't wanna start there." He grabbed the remote and started flicking through the channels.

I snatched the remote from him, turned the TV off again, then throw it to the wall, sure enough knocking the batteries out. "I swear to God, Stephen, if you try to go after that, I'm leaving."

"Okay, I'm sorry." He flexed himself to a lying position on the couch then pulled me on top of him.

"Fine. If you don't wanna talk about it now, fine. It's okay." I buried my head in the crook of his neck. "How've you been?"

"Does it matter?" He muttered stroking my back.

"Yeah. It does. To me. I care." I mumbled.

"I've been.. Good?"

"Good?"

"Okay, no. I've been bad. Miserable. Feeling like shit. I've been.." His voice drowned out.

"You've been?"

"Incomplete? I think that's the word."

"Incomplete? Why is that?"

"I don't know. I didn't have you."

"Stephen," I looked up to meet him eye to eye. "What am I to you? Why am I so fucking important to you? I mean.. Who the fuck is Jess Bowen? She doesn't deserve anything you're giving her. She doesn't deserve someone like you loving her like this. I mean.. Seriously. Why does she mean so much to you? You have your music, and your fans, and your brother.. This bitch's just the drummer in your band. Why do you care so much about her?"

"I don't know." He let me bury my head into his neck again. "I really don't know. All I really know right now is.. Well.. That she's my best friend. And I'm in love with my best friend. I have been ever since stupid Spanish class. I mean.. Yeah, I was thirteen. And I didn't have the slightest idea of what love meant.. Or what it even was. I guess it started out as the stupidest crush ever. I mean. Come on, you and Kennedy started going out the moment I introduced you to each other. Sure, I was jealous and shit," He took a deep breath. "But you know, I.. You're the.. Most fucking awesome girl I've ever met. I didn't want to risk not having you as a friend just because of a stupid crush."

"Do you mean that?"

"Of course I do." He laughed. "What makes you think I don't mean what I'm saying right now? I told you we'd talk in the morning, didn't I?"

"Yeah."

"So just let me continue." He ran his fingers through my hair. "And I hope you don't mind if I don't want to see you eye to eye right now. I.. I don't know. This is the first time I'm ever gonna admit this to you.. Admit this to myself too. And.. I just want to come out with it completely no matter what you say or what you feel. Of course, it matters, but I just have to say this."

"Just go on."

"Did you know I didn't get any sleep at all last night?"

"Why's that?"

"I couldn't stop staring at you."

"Dork."

"Call me a dork all you want. You're beautiful. Fucking beautiful. And I love you. So screw it if I'm really a dork, if I'm a complete prick, if I'm an unfair dick. I'm in love with the most amazing girl in this world. Who's the best thing that's ever happened to me since I found out I had a heart problem."

"You what?" I tried to look up but he kept me down, which I didn't mind anymore and let my eyes continue adjusting to the dark. "You have a what?"

"Heart problem." He let out a laugh. "It's nothing serious, really. Just.. I just shouldn't get too excited over anything. Or be too happy about anything. Or too sad. Which was really hard with you. You're a bipolar bitch. And that, my love, is why I take it slow."

"Take it slow?"

"You know what that means." He hugged me.

Oh. He meant sex. Of course, I was the only one who'd know. He was really slow and shit. And that's why. If things got any heavier, man, that would be like risking his life. Or something. Shit, that sounded wrong.

"I get it." I kissed his neck. "Sorry then."

"Leave it to Jess Bowen to know she gets me excited."

"Yup."

"Jess, you little bipolar bitch. Tell me why I love you so much."

"Ask yourself."

"Do you love me?"

"Yes."

"Do you mean that?"

"Of course I do. I love you." I looked up and planted a kiss on his lips.

He heaved another sigh as I set my head back onto his neck.

I realized it wasn't a sigh. It was a yawn.

Soon enough, he fell asleep.