What Makes It Wrong for Us to Fall in Love?

He started kissing back but in a split second, he stopped himself and pulled away from me. "Jess,"

I stood there, watching him get all confused.

"I'll just go." He sighed. "I'm sorry."

"Fine."

He stepped away from me and went off.

"We still didn't fix it." I muttered and wiped off my tears.

I didn't want to cry. At least not there, not in front of him, not in front of everyone else.

But I honestly didn't know it was gonna hurt that much to see him feel so low about himself.

He was nowhere near to worthless. Not to me, at least. I wanted to punch whoever it was who made him feel like that in the face, but I soon got over that when I saw him crying.

He was telling me to stop while he was nowhere close to stopping himself. I wanted to call him out for doing it, but something just stopped me. Slapping him went over my limits. It wasn't right.

He got it all wrong. I've always hated it when he left in the middle of a fight. Then none of us would try to fix the problem. We would have pretended it didn't happen the next day and pretended there was nothing wrong. We would've pretended everything's fine.

We didn't want to hurt each other more than we already were doing so.

Even when we fought at his house, he'd just leave me crying on his bed and a minute later, Stephen would pick me up at Kennedy's with iced coffee and took me to his place and let me tell him about it.

Before we could start getting physical on each other in the fights, Kennedy would stop himself and just move away from me with the words "I have to get away from you."

Then he'd leave. I never found out what he did once he got away, I just wish he never hurt himself.

I also wished he wished I didn't hurt myself either, because if it weren't for Stephen, I would've killed myself once I got alone.

But Kennedy knew better than to leave me alone when I was mad or angry or sad.

He didn't want to leave me a while ago, knowing that he just upset me.

But he had no choice.

I was starting to regain composure at least 30 minutes later. It was just crazy, I just wanted to break down but I couldn't do it.

I was lost in the venue, for Christ's sake, and all I wanted was to get to the bus to get some fucking rest.

But I couldn't.

I wasn't gonna break down in front of everyone, so I decided to just suck it up and cry about it later.

And as if things weren't bad enough, I bumped into Charlotte on the way.

That bitch was all sympathetic and just threw the questions, "OMG, why are you crying? Did Jawn break up with you? Are you okay?"

"I'm not crying." I muttered as I halted to face her.

"Aw, sure you are." She smirked. "Did Jawn break up with you?"

"No." I coughed. "Jawn and I didn't break up."

"Did you two fight?" She asked.

"No." I said again.

"I thought you two had a fight." She crossed her arms. She eyed me from head to toe. "But actually, I know something you two could fight about."

"Don't start with me."

"I'll let you know anyway," She continued. "How about the fact that you're cheating on him?"

"I'm not cheating on him."

"Sure you are," She punched my arm lightly.

"No, I'm not."

"Oh." She pretended to have been embarrassed being proved wrong. Pretended. "So you and Kenny aren't together?"

"No."

"Then what are you?"

"Friends."

"Friends?"

"Best friends." I added.

"Awkward."

"Nothing's awkward about it." I blankly told her.

"Oh yeah. It's not awkward sucking your boyfriend's best friend's face off."

"It's none of your business, Charlotte."

"I'm telling Jawn."

"Don't you dare." I finally looked up to meet her eye to eye.

"But Jess, I don't think it's fair for either one of them!" She said, faking another pitiful expression.

I squinted at her and waited for her to continue whatever shit she wanted to talk.

"And where does Stephen fit in this picture?"

"What picture are you talking about,"

"This love triangle. Doesn't he have anything to do here?"

"No." I scoffed. "Stephen and I are friends."

"You two aren't together?"

I mentally bitch-slapped her. Why was she making it so fucking hard?!

I wanted to say no.

The entire reason Jawn and I were pretending to be together was to protect Kennedy. She wouldn't dare get close to Kennedy, and if she couldn't get close to Jawn, getting to Kennedy was definitely out of the question.

I didn't want to lie about Stephen and me. But Charlotte.

Fuck, okay. I muttered in my head as I finally decided to answer Charlotte. "We're just friends."

"Great." She flipped her hair over her shoulder. "Give this to Stephen." She shoved a piece of paper in my hand.

I looked down to see the paper, and I couldn't stop myself from crumpling it.

The whore of the century wrote her number down for Stephen! Was she kidding?! I didn't care if she didn't know we were together-- She actually had the nerve to get me to give Stephen her number!

"Why are you crumpling it?" She simply asked.

I looked up at her. "I wasn't crumpling it.. I just.. Twitched."

"No, you're jealous." She raised an eyebrow.

I pretended to laugh at the idea. "Me? Jealous? Haha, why would I be jealous?"

"You know what, I'm just joking around. Of course you're not jealous." She winked and started to walk off. "Don't forget to give that to Stephen, alright?"

"You wish." I said as I started trying to find my way again and tucked the piece of paper in my pocket.