What Makes It Wrong for Us to Fall in Love?

"Love," I mumbled as I took his arms and wrapped them around myself.

"Love?" Stephen asked, and yet again, half-awake. "Do you want me to go to my own bunk?"

"No!" I coughed. "Don't. Don't leave me."

He became suddenly alert. "Love, are you crying?"

I nodded as I buried my head into his chest and arms.

"Love, who did this to you? I'm gonna--"

"Love, please. Just hold me." I cried.

"Sh, love. Shhh, it's okay." He said, not even aware of what the actual issue was.

I just held onto him while he held me. He let me cry.

"Love, who did this to you?"

"I," I coughed. "I don't wanna talk about it."

"Are you sure,"

"Yeah."

"I respect that." Stephen sighed.

"Thanks,"

I didn't know what I was doing.

I was fooling around with Jawn to protect Kennedy when I was with Stephen. I was scared, I didn't know what would have happened if I kept that act up.

I was hurting. I was hurting so fucking bad, Stephen was holding me together, I was falling apart. Completely.

John O'Callaghan. That was all his fault. Or so I thought. He had to cross the line and say God, no wonder Kenny couldn't take you. It hurt me. A lot.

That was probably the hardest I've cried that tour.

I was confused, I was frustrated, I was broken.

There were so many things going on in my head, I couldn't even sort them all out. And to think before Jawn had made me cry, things were already crazy. What more after? He shoved the fact that Kennedy was right when he told me I was stubborn in my face, he was shoving it in my fucking face, and I was hurt.

I should've stopped wearing my heart on my sleeve when I had the chance to, that way I wouldn't have ended up getting hurt.

But did I stop? No.

Stephen had been lying with me there for I don't know how long anymore.

He kept kissing my forehead and telling me that everything was going to be okay, and that he was gonna find whoever the bastard was that did that to me and kill him.

Till Garrett woke up.

His voice was just all over the place, and it was annoying.

Not Brian-squeaky-chipmunk annoying. It was just.. Garrett's voice was so fucking loud. Unnecessarily loud. His voice was too loud, louder than it should've been, when he talked to everyone who was already awake.

"You got Kenny drunk?!" Garrett freaked out.

"We have Gatorade in the fridge, he'll be fine." Jawn answered calmly.

"Is Stephen awake?"

"No," Jawn answered one more of Garrett's questions. "He woke up to eat breakfast then went back to bed with Jess."

I looked at Stephen who passed out while comforting me. His fingers were on the groove of my backbone, and even though he was unconscious, his fingers never stopped tracing themselves over where they were.

"Did you eat your breakfast already?" Garrett asked.

"No, I spilled milk everywhere."

"You didn't cry over your spilled milk, did you?" Garrett teased.

"No." Jawn said with a sigh, then muttered. "Someone else did though."

Hearing that brought bitterness back into my system. He was such a cunt. I absolutely hated him that time.

"What?" Garrett wanted Jawn to elaborate on what he had just said.

"Nothing, Garrett! Leave me alone! Goddammit, Garrett, why do you have to be a fucking disturbance all the time?! Huh?! Will you just leave me the fuck alone?!"

"Sheesh, I just wanted to--"

"Pat, get the fuck up." Jawn said as he pulled the bunk curtain above mine open. "Get Garrett out of my fucking hair, please!"

"Woke up on the wrong side of the bed?" Pat grumbled as he crawled out of his bunk.

"I sleep in a fucking bunk, that expression doesn't even--"

"Will you calm your fucking tits?! Will you do that, Jawn?! You're ruining everyone's mornings!" Garrett said before I heard footsteps out the bunk area, of which I were guessing were Pat and Garrett.

"Fuck. Everything. Fuck everything. Fuck every fucking thing. Fuck the world, fuck the world." Jawn sang.

"New song, John O'?" Jared said.

"It'll definitely be at the billboard hits, am I right or what?" Jawn said with a bitter laugh.

"Of course!" Jared cheered. "I can see it, John O'! An album called 'Fuck The World!' and there'll be eleven tracks! First one's 'Fuck!', second one's 'Fuck It!', third one'll be 'Fuck everything!' then 'Fuck my life!' then 'Fuck Every Fucking Thing!' and then 'Fuck You!' and then 'Fuck Life!' and then 'Fuck This Song!' and 'Fuck This Record!' and then 'Fuck Your Life!' and then 'Fuck The Maine!' I can see it!"

"Beautiful. New album. Finally," Jawn grunted.

"And when you get asked what your inspiration was, you'll tell everyone the story of this morning."

"Not a good idea." Jawn heaved a loud sigh/ "My morning straight up sucked, fucked me and Jess all over."

"Do you wanna tell me about your seemingly amazing morning with spilled milk?"

"Not at all." Jawn coldly answered.

--

"Ahh, Jawn, go away." Kennedy threw his pillow out his bunk trying to hit Jawn but failed miserably, the pillow landing in front of me.

Stephen left me in my bunk. He said he wanted to get some air, but I knew he was using that as an excuse to get away. He hated seeing me cry. It hurt him. What hurt him more was the fact that he had no idea what I was crying over.

I looked at Jawn, and I couldn't stop the anger swelling up inside of me just at the sight of the back of his head as he attempted to wake Kennedy up. I pushed him aside and decided to just wake up Kennedy because Jawn was doing a terrible job at it.

I leaned over to Kennedy and kissed his cheek. "Babe, do you want me to go get your Gatorade for you?"

"What flavor is it?"

"I don't know, it's blue."

He just nodded with his eyes still closed.

I looked at Jawn. "That's how you do it."

"I refuse to call him babe." Jawn mocked.

I punched him in the stomach and left to get Kennedy's Gatorade.

I took the bottle from the fridge after greeting my band mates and the Maine boys a good morning.

I went back to Kennedy and gave him the bottle. "Now wake up."

"I am up, just having a terrible hangover." He mumbled.

--

"We're out of milk." John complained.

"Then eat the plain cereal." Jawn rolled his eyes.

"Ew, no." John threw the box at him.

Jawn pushed it to the table of the booth while scrolling through his phone. "Brian's not complaining."

"He likes his cereal without milk." John pointed out.

"Look, I don't give a fuck about your fucking cereal, okay?!" Jawn looked up, then immediately set his attention back to his phone.

"Have a little fucking respect, would you?" I argued. "It's your fucking fault we're out of milk."

"Don't go there, Jess." Jawn grunted.

"Jess?" Jared questioningly said my name, repeating Jawn, taking everyone's attention. "That's the first time I've heard you not call her 'doll' this week."

Jawn rolled his eyes, realizing what he had just given attention to wasn't worth it and went back to his phone.

Everyone else, though, nodded in agreement.