Prescribed Pills

I didn't like remembering the night we met, for one particular reason. How messed up she had been. Her eyes huge and dilated, her face pale and sick looking. She could barely speak, her words slurring every time she would open her mouth. Maggie had even spilled her drink on my lap. I had only drank a little that night, and cut words into my arm, I had been to self loathing that night to even get up and grab more beer, let alone drugs. That's when you know I'm at my worse. When I'm to depressed to hurt myself. That's when I want someone else to do it for me.

“Don't think about that.” I whispered to her. But, then again, I loved remembering that night. That was the night I had met someone who would eventually come to care enough about me to try to help. I didn't have anyone else like that for me, but her. But now I had her, and I was slowly on the way to recovery... I wasn't so sure about her.

I held her close to my frame, tracing my fingers against her features, her skin. She was so beautiful, I had no idea why she didn't see it. “You feeling okay, Love?” I asked her, staring right into her dim eyes. She seemed to be out of it a little.

“I'm fine, Brendon.” Maggie answered, “Why do you ask?”

“Your eyes are dull...” I whispered to her, running my hands through her hair, and staring up at her, my eyes glowing at the sight of her.

A frown appeared on her face and I wished that I hadn't said anything. “I'm fine.” She repeated. I bit my lip and let my eyes fall down to her lips, but not really focusing on them. I just couldn't keep my eyes on her's after feeling like I had said something I shouldn't have. She always got kind of pissy when I brought it up. Sometimes, unless she was breaking down right in front of me.

“I'm sorry...” I mumbled, and hugged her tighter to me.

Maggie sighed and stroked my hair, and whispered, “It's fine, I'm glad someone worries about me.”

I looked back up at her, and gave her a slight smile. “Same here.” I whispered, and wanted to press my lips to her's, but I felt that might be stepping a little out of line. I was already hugging her to close, and stroking her hair. Maggie was a smart girl, she probably knew I had feelings, but, I would never admit it... It felt almost like lying, but sometimes you had to, too keep the ones you loved the most around you. I learned that out the hard way with my mom.

She was a druggie, too, and always liked to get up and go. One night, I walked into her room, and kissed her cheek, and told her to wake me up in the morning with a hug. I told her I loved her.

My mom never woke me up that morning.... When I woke myself up, I was hoping she just hadn't woken up yet. When I ran into her room, I saw dad lying there asleep, but my mom's side was empty. She had left us, and I was only six. I felt it was all my fault.

So, I would keep lying. I really wanted to keep Maggie around. I smiled up at her lightly.