In 102 Languages I Love You

"Frank, let me go dammit!" Mikey argued pulling away from my firm grasp. He had a big height advantage, but besides that this guy was to lanky too be strong.

"Today, you and I will have lunch together, alone, in the library, okay? I need your help!"

"You still haven't told me where you were this morning. Whitney said you didn't call her about not being in school, she said you always call her when you're not going to be in school. Man, she was worried something happened."

Whitney. If I told her I was with Madison she could and would possibly chop my balls off. Lying in a relationship was never a sign of anything positive, never. When you're in an honest relationship, you know you can always tell the truth to your partner. You love them too much to lie. I couldn't tell the truth this time, why?

On the other hand, Mikey was one of my best friends. It was easier to tell him the truth then it would be to Whitney. "I was with Madison this morning.." I said pushing the doors to the library opened. I could almost smell the dusty old books pushed up in carts at the very end. You could hear the swish noises the pages made from every student reading in the library.
I felt Mikey's large hand pull me back. "And why exactly where you with her? Is she in school today cause I never see her around. You need to straighten yourself out man."

I lashed my shoulder forward and he lost his grip around it. "Lets sit down and talk then, Mikey. Oh, and get a computer pass too, from Mrs. Brewer, we need it." I ordered pushing him towards Mrs. Brewers desk. I walked off to find the nearest table and dropped my backpack on the small chair beside me. I tapped my chewed up nails against the cold hard table waiting as Mikey walked back with the pass in his hands.

"We have to wait ten minutes until we can use a computer. The only three computers our school can afford are taken." He said, dropping his own backpack on the chair next to him and took a seat across from me. "So, anyway, why are we here? And why were you with Madison this morning exactly?" He asked scratching his nose and looking around the library.

"Do you know what Riluzole is?"

Mikey's eyebrows turned down and looked befuddled. "No, but what does that have to do with anything?"

I sighed. "I was with Maddy this morning because I saw her walking. So, me, being a good friend, decided to give her a ride, okay? Uhh..well she was putting on my eyeliner as we drove and I wasn't looking at the road well. A car passed and I almost hit it, but I didn't, I hit the breaks. I guess during the time when our bodies flew forward, the little sticks from my eyeliner must have made a cut below Maddy's eyelid."

Mikey's eyes widened and his hand came in contact with the right side of my head. "OW!" I whined loudly. 'Shhs' were heard from around the room and I could see Mrs. Brewer giving us 'the evil eye.' Everyone around here always took the whole 'quiet in the library' thing to seriously.

"Dan would've killed you if anything really bad happened to her!" Mikey hissed.

"I know.."I mumbled feeling guilty again. "This is my second time getting her hurt. The next time is my third strike and I'm doomed!"

Mikey rolled his eyes ans sat back in his seat. "So being a gentlemen you drove her back home and then came back here?" He smirked. "Should've just stayed home with her man."

"I-I was going to. But then.." I began reaching for my jean pocket. "I found this in her room." I said reaching down into my pocket and trying to get as much powder as I could from it. Riluzole wasn't in solid pill form like I expected. Instead, it was powder. I had stuffed some in my pocket, but most of it was disolved by now.

"Are you saying Madison's on drugs?" He asked raising an eyebrow as he examined my white powdered hand.

I shrugged feeling a bit nervous. "I hope not, I mean I found them in her room and immediately suspected something. I knew something was wrong from the beginning I..you know knocked into her. So I actually left her, and I'm here to do some research about this powder here."

Mikey sighed and rubbed his right eye. "Dude, maybe you should just leave her alone. It's like re-living the whole thing with..Gerard." He frowned. "Your getting too attached to Madison man. Just leave her alone."

I felt myself go warm and embarrassed. The light fighting through the window hit the lens of Mikey's glasses making them shine. Gerard had been having problems with the pills he took and it affected Mikey, a lot. "I'm not getting attached.." I argued getting impatient from waiting. "I just want to help."

My words made sense to me, well one part did. I did want to help, and I didn't know exactly why. Saying 'I'm not getting attached' made me feel like I was lying once again. Each passing day I found my mind drift to the days that I had spent talking and spending time with Maddy. I found the conversations I had with her more refreshing, more down to earth then with my own girlfriend. I found myself wanting to to hug her, or carry her for fun; wanting, craving, to make her smile.

I wasn't supposed to feel that way.

I had Whitney.

"Mr. Way, computers ready!" Mrs. Brewer yelled from behind her desk. So she could yell in this place, but we couldn't? I shot up form my chair and sped towards the computer. Two girls that looked like freshman were gathering up there books. Mikey appeared next to me once they had gathered everything and I took a seat.

"Okay, but what happens if Madison is doing drugs man. What do you do then?"

"Talk" I answered, casually typing up Riluzole into the Google search engine. As the page loaded my palms began to sweat from the heat being led because of the friction between the mouse and my hand. I was kind of afraid to find out the truth. When the page loaded there were varies results.

"Should we trust Wikipedia?" I asked looking up at Mikey. He bit his lip and shrugged. With my hand still shaking a bit I let the mouse roll down the pad and clicked on The Wikipedia link. I prepared myself for the worst.

And I got the worst.

I began to read out loud so Mikey could hear as the page loaded up. "Riluzole is a drug used to treat amyotro-amyo-trophic lateral scl-er-osis. It delays the onset of ventilator-dependence or trach-eostomy in selected patients and may increase survival by approximately two months. It is marketed by Aventis Pharmaceuticals Inc with the brand name Rilutek."

"Survival?" I said outloud confused.

"Dude those were so many big words all at once. My head hurts." Mikey whined. "What's amyotrophic..whatever the heck they said."

The word 'survival' was still hitting me pretty hard. I clicked on link 'amyotrophic lateral sclerosis' and the page began load once more. I got ready to read outloud to Mikey once more.

"Amyotrophic lateral scler..osis, ALS, sometimes called Lou Gehrig's Disease, Maladie de Charcot or motor neurone disease.. is a progressive, fa-fatal.." My voice began to wither. "neurodegenerative disease caused by the degeneration of motor neurons, the nerve cells in the central nervous system that control voluntary muscle movement. The disorder causes muscle weakness and atrophy throughout the body as both the upper and lower motor neurons degenerate and die, ceasing to send messages to muscles."

A lump began forming in my throat making it harder and harder to get the words I wanted out. "Unable to function, the muscles gradually weaken, atrophy, and develop fasciculations, twitches, because of denervation. Eventually, the brain completely loses its ability to initiate and control voluntary movement. The disease does not necessarily debilitate the patient's mental functioning in the same manner as Alzheimer's disease or other neurological conditions. Rather, those suffering advanced stages of the disease may retain the same memories, personality, and intelligence they had before its onset."

At the end of the word my lips and hands were quivering. "Wait, wait..Maddy..she, she takes this? Maddy has this ALS thing?" Mikey asked sounding worried.

"S-She's been keeping it a secret.." I said lowly more to myself then to him."Mikey.." I said louder now looking up at him.

He looked down at me.

"Maddy..she-she's going to die?