In 102 Languages I Love You

Winter was still here, and it was going to stick around for another three months. Would Maddy stick around to see the summer of nineteen-ninety-eight? Would she stick around for junior year? How about our prom dance, at the end of the school year? Would she live until the millennium? Anything exciting ninety-eight has to offer? Realizing how hard Drake's death had impacted her, and the people that knew him got me thinking hard.

I'm going to feel that same way when Maddy's gone. God there is just something about her that makes my blood rush! Knowing that she liked me but didn’t want to date me made her such a tease! Why couldn't she just say yes? I know she wants to be with me. I know she’s just scared, that's all. I want to show her it's okay to open up, and to be in a relationship. It's okay she's sick. I just want to be able to call her my girlfriend. I want other people to see just how much better she is than other girls. For other guys to be jealous.

She didn't give me that option though.

I could feel the cool rush of wind attack my face as I walked through the sour cold. The only noises that were heard was my occasionally nose sniffling and the scraping of my feet against the cement below me. I carried the lifeless plastic doll by the foot, letting it swing at my sides; baby Linda. The clouds above me were having a war with the sun. Every couple of minutes, the clouds would cloak the sun's rays, leaving this town looking miserably grey, and more dangerous then it already was.

As I passed that certain block that had my initials engraved with Madison’s I tried to look away. There are tiny little details that just remind your brain of that certain someone. It can be anyone. I could be thinking about goddamn thumbtacks and my mind will some how wind it all the way back to Madison Darko. Why do girls do that to us? Now a days, all every guy seems to want is tits, ass, a pretty face, pretty eyes, and sex. No guy ever expects to fall for someone hard. I never expected to fall for someone hard, not like this.

I think the best thing about her was her ability to make me laugh so easily.
A cool wind picked up, and my arms huddled up closer to keep warm. I don't know why the fuck I decided to walk!

I began to swing the plastic doll. Maybe the motion would keep me warm. The cold around me chewed away at my exposed flesh. I felt the baby doll's leg slip out of my grip. It swung and went flying as I desperately tried to reach up and catch it. It landed about thirty feet ahead of me. I sighed, making my way slowly towards it. Though I hadn't noticed another figure just up ahead, coming the opposite direction. I couldn't really make the person out much. I think he/she had witnessed the swinging of it. I hurried my pace, only to watch the person bend down and pick up baby Linda.

By the way the person bent down and picked up the doll in their arms, I concluded it was a girl. Unless this 'guy' was very...graceful. I made it all the way towards her, standing in front of the girl holding Linda. She looked up at me, and stood up as well. Her eyes, they were just like my mothers. "Th-that's mine..." I mumbled sticking out my hand for her to hand it over.

Her eyebrows scrunched up, and her lips began to spread into a small, toothy grin; giving me a display of her perfect, straight, white teeth. I realized then, how stupid I must have looked asking her for the doll. "It's for a health project."
She looked mysterious, with her blue ripped up converse, tight black jeans, and a black hoodie under her dark blue jacket. Her short hair hid behind her hood on her head. She looked a bit plump, but I was never one to judge on weight. She looked kind of young, maybe fifteen, who knows. She handed me over the doll, and I took it from her. "Thanks." I mumbled before taking off again. And as I walked away, I could feel her eyes burning holes through my back.

I continued the walk until I no longer felt uncomfortable eyes weren't trying to burn through my jackets interior, burn through my skin, my blood, and into my bones. I could feel the condensation around me rising below my feet, and into the clouds above. It was below freezing, so if it decided to rain, it would fall in chunks of ice. Christmas was tomorrow, and as I approached the Darko residence, I could tell they weren't hyped about this holiday. You could tell by how lonely and withered their house looked, with no decorations hanging from a skinny tree or a Santa Claus waving at the cars passing by.

I sucked in freezing air inside my body, slowly walking up the cracked steps to their small house. The brown paint on the wooden door had been chipping away more then the first time I had been here. The tiny designs on the edges of the doors looked worn out, and no longer gave it that fancy look. My hand reached over to knock on the wood, but instead almost ended up hitting her face. The top of her body backed away alarmed, and I pulled back.

"Sorry" I said quickly, afraid I had hit her. She, however, looked more concerned about my presence in front of her.

"Frank" She said, nonchalantly. Her face looked dry. It looked like she hadn't smiled in years. She looked so pale and so cold. Her hair looked like straw, straws that needed to be raked. My eyes wondered down to the black bag she carried in her left hand.

"Doing Dan's chores?" I asked trying to spark some sort of normal conversation. If having her as a girlfriend wouldn't work, then I guess I could try and settle for friends.

"He's having a lazy day." She said nodding a bit. "I see you've brought our daughter."

I nodded, myself. "Do you need help? Cause you know I can help. It looks kind of heavy.."

She shook her head. "No thanks, I'm fine." She said, stepping out beside me, and walked over to the trashcans that stood in front of her house. I think she was one of the few that actually didn't litter. You would always see scraps of food wrappers, or anything scattered around the town. She walked back towards me looking like a walking corpse. She was hidden behind a scarf, thick sweatpants, boots, and a big puffy jacket. It wasn't that cold.

"So..uhh, are you going to give me Linda?" She chattered, rubbing her hands together forming warm friction.

"Uh-yeah." I almost stutter and stick out the freezing plastic doll towards her. "I think we're going to fail this project." I said, smiling a bit.

No matter how hard I tried, not even a single muscles spread on her face to mimic my smile back. "It doesn't matter.." She began. "I'm going back to homeschooling." She answered taking a step back from me.

At that moment, I felt my heart drop to my feet. "W-what?"

"High school wasn't anything like I expected. It's hard to breathe in that place,
or concentrate on anything. It's easier being home schooled. You don't have as much problems. So I'm being home schooled again."

My words got caught at the end of my throat. School was basically the only time I saw her, without her mom or brother being in the way. "If that's..w-what you w-want." I stuttered, tripping over my words.

She nodded sternly. "It is."

I nodded back slowly, stepping away from her. Each step made my legs ache.

Why was falling for some girl hurting so bad? "I'll see you around M-Madison."

My feet sped through the blocks; I didn't even hear her say anything back, if she did at all. And as much as it hurt, I had come to a conclusion, thanks to reality. Frank Iero, you need to move on.