In 102 Languages I Love You

"My friends are coming over" Dan said, a bit loudly, as my fingers brushed through the pages of a new fresh book. Lord of the Flies wasn't working out to well for me. And after weeks of searching for the next perfect book to read, The Catcher in the Rye fitted my needs. My head rested comfortably against one of our brown old pillows. my legs slightly bounced on the couch, letting tiny dust particles to come flying out of it. Holden Caulfield, a troubled young man living in Pencey Prep.

"My friends are coming over" Daniel repeated louder now, making sure to emphasize certain words. His voice waves entered my ear, but I kept still on the couch, holding the small white book in my hands. I always loved the fresh smell of new books. It gave you this weird sensation of being almost light headed, staring down at the jumbled text engraved onto the pages. (That the Ancient Chinese were oh so clever to create!) I've always had a fascination and admiration for published writers. How they could create words and sentences that can mingle together and entwine to form perfect paragraphs. I don't understand how some writers can capture the light in a pitch black room.

"Did you hear me Madison? Gerard, Mikey, Ray, Bob and..Frank are coming over. Why are you still lying there?" Dan asked, sounding completely serious. After yesterday there was no need to be running away from life anymore. There was no need to confine myself in my small room, chasing back the life I used to have before Frank ran into me. I guess I can say that this collision really changed me. Of course, Dan wasn't aware of my little epiphany.

"I heard you, twice. Now can you please let me read my book? Goodness Daniel." I said trying to sustain a smile. My eyes darted back to the cover of the book. The most controversial book of it's century apparantley, and I think this is why I was so eager to read it. What made this book so daring? Well I will I read ready to find out!

"Are you not anti-social anymore?" Dan laughed lightly, walking over to me, and grabbed the book from my hands. I sighed rolling my eyes realizing I was going to actually get no where on reading today. It was Saturday, so my tutor Renee wouldn't be here today. I'm not about to tell Daniel that I was in fact dating one of his best friends, and that we had hooked up numerous times. I'd only tell him this if I wanted Frank dead, and that wasn't funny. Daniel had no business in who I was dating, but I knew he'd be pissed. So keeping Frank safe for now was my priority, and one of the reasons I wasn't locking myself up in my room right now.

"Madison Darko is back in action!" I responded, slightly smiling at my brother, who was towering over me. "Now, can I have my book ba-"

At that second, our door burst open, and in came five trembling guys, all trying to squeeze through the door at once. "Jesus fucking Christ, it's freez-" Mikey chattered before stopping himself, taking a closer look at both of us, mainly me. "Madison?!"

I stood next to my brother awkwardly as I felt like I was being raped by eight pears of eyeballs, excluding Frank. "She lives!" Ray smiled throwing his arms up in the air.

I wish.

"I live!" I repeated in song, smiling over at Dan's five friends and my boyfriend. Gosh did that thought just seem to shake me. My boyfriend, I need to get used to saying that! "You guys look like you're freezing.."

"No shit," Bob muttered pushing Ray out of the doorway, and closing it. All of them took seats on their nearest available spots, rubbing their hands together, or blowing into it to create warmth. As Frank walked by me I could spot a little smirk on the edges of his lips. I sat myself back down on the couch, grabbing my book and leave room for Mikey to sit down beside me.

"I'm so mad at you Madison!" Mikey muttered, narrowing his eyes playfully.

Everyone else invoked themselves in conversation as I looked at Mikey confused. "You left me alone in that shit of a place called high school!" He said a bit too loud, for others to hear.

"High school just wasn't my thing." I replied. "It's like suffocation."

"It's okay Madison. I hated it too." Gerard said, fumbling to open his cigarette pack.

"Me too." Dan added.

"Me three." Ray said raising his hand.

"Me four." Bob joined in.

"Lucky bitches. I still have one more painful year in that place" Frank muttered, crossing his legs, and arms on the couch chair he was on, leaning back and taking a quick glance at me. Now without even touching me, he gave me shivers!

"I'm going to get something to eat.." I mumbled to nobody in particular, and got up from the couch making my way through the living room. I was kind of lying and kind of not. I was craving for something, but the house at the moment was only filled with fruits that I wasn't in the mood for, and mint cookies. Mom hadn't had the time to go grocery shopping. Either she spent her time working, or her time with Laurie Calhoun.

I sat myself down at the table in the middle of our almost empty kitchen. My head stared down at the dust particles accumulating on the table. Let's just say, I kept like this for about ten minutes until I heard his familiar footsteps making their way towards me. I looked up to be met by his face. "Finally." I said getting up from the table, smiling like an idiot. "It only took you like an hour."

Frank made a face. "Okay, now that's just extreme exaggeration. That was only like five minutes." He corrected walking over to me and pressing his face into my neck while he wrapped his arms around me. It made me remember the first few times he touched me, and how much I hated the way he did. And now, I loved it. I felt his breathe tickling at my exposed neck, gently brushing his lips against my flesh. "You smell good." He laughed lightly. "What scent are you wearing?"

"Hmm, don't know." I responded pushing him away from me slightly. "Where did you tell the guys you went?"

His lips spread. "I just said I'd help you find something to eat for them too." He shrugged. "And how great was it that I was the only one who didn't say 'hi' when we all walked in. I'm good at acting, but fuck is it hard!"

I smiled lightly as he walked off to sit down at the table, and I fished through random cabinets for food. "What book is this?"

I turned to look at Frank to see The Catcher in the Rye in his hands. He scanned the pages and finally looked back at me. "A book I found that I'm interesting in reading.." I responded.

"What's it about?"

"This teenage boy named Holden. He goes to this school called Pencey Prep, and hates it there apparently. He kind of actually got expelled from it. I think he's going to run away.."

I grabbed the gross chocolate mint cookies, and walked back to the table and sat across from Frank as his forehead scrunched up, looking at the book in his hands. "Do you mind if I read it before you?" He asked smiling hugely, making a cute face. "Pencey Prep sounds like a cool name."

I shrugged. "Knock yourself out." I said, sticking the cookies in his direction, offering him one. He shook his head in rejection. "You know, Mikey is right. It sucks you don't go to school anymore. You left me." He pouted.

I laughed lightly, "So what? Do you want me to go back to high school?" I asked, biting down on the mint cookie.

He grinned shaking his head up and down like a little kid. "Okay captain, listen up. My mom will kill me if I ask to go back. So I'd rather stay in one piece. I think you'd want me in one piece to, right?"

His face fell, and he wrinkled up his nose like a little pig. He sighed resting the book on the table. "But it still sucks that I'm sitting three feet away from you, and that the only time we can do this is when no one's looking.." He muttered, narrowing his eyes.

I giggled. "That sounds like we're having an affair or something."

He laughed lightly resting his chest on the table, extending his arms towards my hand and taking it into his palm, entwining our fingers together. Half his chest was on the table, and part of his face was too. His eyes however, were glued on me. He looked up at with those fantasizing orbs of his.

"What?" I ask almost blushing, keeping back a smile.

He smiled as well, letting his lip ring shine. "I don't know. I've just been waiting for so long. Now that I actually know you're my girlfriend it's kind of weird." He giggled. "I'm glad you are though. What changed your mind?"

My face fell, and suddenly the cookie in my hands felt slippery, and fell through my grasp. Let's just say that the letter Drake had written me, traveled with me everywhere. I know it sounds creepy, but it's always with me. When I'm sleeping it's under my pillow, and whenever I move or walk somewhere, it's in my pocket. (like it was right now.) I stuck my hands into the pocket of my jeans, searching for my sacred parchment. If this thing ever got lost or wrinkled up, or teared, I don't know how I'd react. I took the page in my hands, unfolding it neatly and handing the page over to Frank. "This."

Frank took the paper from my hands, and I watched as his eyes began to scan the paper. I guess I owed this letter my wake up to reality. Even when Drake was dead, he was still helping me; making me realize it was okay to have these feelings for Frank. There were always these invisible chains holding me down. I even held the keys to the lock, and Drake was the one to tell me to use it. Those chains holding me down were my very own fears.

My eyes wondered back to Frank as he began to fold up the paper. "I really regret not getting to know that guy better. And to think he kind of sucked 'cause I was kind of jealous of him that he was always with you." Frank sighed. "He was an amazing person, wasn't he?"

"He had his flaws like any other person. But he...he really was someone extraordinary. To me at least."

A bit of a silence followed my last words. My eyes wondered around the table, and Frank's own stared down at the paper resting on the wooden surface. "But he doesn't want me wasting away my life locked up in my little room whining." I smiled nervously. "So I'm not going to. But I'm doing this more for me. I want to live because I want to live, not because he wants me to live."

Frank grinned softly, handing me back the letter. I took it from his hands, letting my fingers brush against his own on purpose, before slipping the letter back into my pocket. He sighed, and leaned back on the wooden chair. "So when am I going to see you again?"

I shrugged getting up from my seat, and sat myself on the one beside him. "You know, I don't know what it means to be a girlfriend. Or even how to be one. I don't really know how these work. I've seen them in movies, but all that is acting. And they always seem to be lacking something in those perfect made up relationships. I just don't know how these work..."

Frank's eyes always seemed to glow when he looked at me. Just like they used to glow when he was with Whitney. "Let me teach you then." Frank said, leaning in, planting a kiss on my lips. They were always sweet and gentle. Never to rough or demanding.

"I think I'd like that." I nodded, losing my breathe. He stood up from his chair and walked passed me, extending his hand for me to take.

"I'm going to teach you how to live."

I stare at his hands. You could see the green veins carrying out his blood, the patches of hair he had on his knuckles, his black polished nails. With no need to think about my answer, I took it immediately, smiling like some doofus.