In 102 Languages I Love You

"Maddy..."

My body was lightly shaking, but my mind was still set on my dreams.

"Maddy!"

My eyes opened quickly at the sudden burst of my name. At first, all I could see was the darkness hitting my eyes, and the silhouette of a dark figure embedded in the dark. I could see colorful circles as my pupils still had to get used to my surroundings from my sudden wake. Two hands were resting on my shoulders, and it was easy to tell who it was.

"F-Frank, Frank what are you doing here? What time is it? I'm so tired." I whine, trying to keep a yawn trapped in my lips, and not let it escape.

"Hmm, well let's see. I'm here to see my beautiful girlfriend, it's currently 4:50 am, and well you better stop being tired because you have to get up missy!"

I shook my head, arguing with whatever crazy plan he had in mind right now. I was just simply too weak to get up at this time, at this hour. Things recently just got even harder to do. I can still walk, but it's gotten increasingly difficult, and it hurts. My legs often tremble whenever I stand. Every time I walk, I feel like a turtle because it takes me so long to get to my destination.

Everything in my body felt like it was disintegrating too quickly.

"Next question" I mumble, sitting up to look at his face. If there is one thing fighting the darkness, its eyes. They glow in this type of time, and they look so penetrating. "What do you have in mind? And if it involves me walking, think twice!" I say, finally letting the little yawn escape my lips.

A small smile plays at his lips, and he scoots closer to me. I feel cold rush up my body. It's freezing in here! As soon as his body is close enough to radiate enough warmth, I cling on to his shoulder, and let my head rest against his arm.

"Well, I was in school yesterday, and Whitney had just come back from her choir class. Now, she has this really, beautiful angelic voice, and I heard her singing this tune. I asked her what she was singing, and she looked at me funny and responded, 'Iero you'd never like the type of music I sing in my class.' I didn't like how she underestimated my music variation, and asked again. She responded with the title, 'Will there really be a morning?' And, well that got me thinking."

I rub my cold nose against his soft skin, and look up to meet his glowing eyes. "So you came here to talk to me about mornings?" I ask.

"Well..." he sighs. "If there is someone I know I can talk to about anything, as random as it may be, it's you. So yeah, I guess." He shrugs.

A smile forms on my lips, and I let them brush against his soft skin lightly. I can feel goose bumps starting to form at his skin, I make him nervous. "Well then, I feel honored in that case. What exactly are you thinking?"

Frank takes in a breathe before speaking. "The title got me thinking since I don't know any of the other words in the song. The whole question, 'will there really be a morning?' I mean, it's true. Is there really a morning, Maddy? Because for every single place in this earth, morning is something different, and it begins at different times, in different places. So, does morning really exist somewhere? Where does it begin? Where?"

I feel his gaze turn to me for an answer, but the thing wrong with this is, I don't always have one. An answer to this can be anything. "I think a morning can begin whenever you want it to begin. I think the song title can be metaphorically speaking, and literal speaking at the same time. You make of it, what you want to make of it, Frank."

It gets silent after that. I'm still clinging on his arm five minutes later, trying to keep his body warmth near me, and Frank is staring into the dark space in front of his nose. The digital clock to my side is reading 5:10 AM, and it's a Saturday so no one will be up until about three more hours or so. Thanks to winter solstice, the sun rises later in time, making it lazy.

"Maddy..." Franks voice interrupts the silence. From a far, I can hear Dan's light snoring, and my mother shifting on her bed. The floorboards always squeaked, even if no one was walking. Our house always felt like it shook at night.

My eyes look at him to continue, because my voice box feels a little week. Another sign, but I don't let him know, not now. "Have you ever seen the sunrise?" He asked.

And all he had to do was smile, and I was his.

It took us about twenty minutes to get out of the house completely. He offered to carry me all the way out, but I didn't let him. All of this was making me more dependent on people, and I had never liked that much. For now I could still use my legs, and that's what I would do. I made sure to grab my hat, my scarf, and my gloves to keep warm. By the time we were done, I was dressed as if it was -20 degree's outside, when in fact, it was only fifty. Frank smiled at this, and kept close. His body heat kept me warmer then the sun that would rise soon.

I didn't know where we were going, and I didn't exactly know what I was doing. It was still dark, and there were no streetlights to guide each sidewalk. In ten minutes however, Frank's car had parked outside the same park both of us had met at for the second time, where I had broken my foot, where I had rejected him for the hundredth time, and now, were we would watch the sunrise together.

We step out into the sidewalk. Frank grabs my hand, and we knot fingers. The park gates are always opened, and so we step into the dirt ground. The swings are slightly swinging from the breeze, the slides are filled with left over the snow, and the trees are bare naked. Everything looks like it's lonely, like it's dying. Off to the corner, the merry go round is spinning, and I swear I could hear laughter from the past summer still laughing lightly. Frank leads me past all the child's play, and we walk towards the lake at the end of the park. There is a fence to our side, and benches on a slight hill over ceased with tree's standing proud.

"Come on, we can sit on those."

It takes a bit to get my legs to work together with my muscles. It doesn't allow me much use as we try to get up the hill. But with a heave, and lots of pulling, Frank always manages to get me to take my next step, and closer to the goal at the end. Even if it's as simple as climbing a small hill.

We sit our butts on the freezing bench, and stare out into the lake. It's not the prettiest view in the world, seeing as, it is Jersey, and the lake is more polluted then Jersey itself. The lake isn't your normal color, but it suits me just fine. Off to the distance we await for the sun to peak into our eyes. My heads on the crook of his neck, taking in his intoxicating scent that makes me want to cough. His arms are around my shoulder, and his fingers are lightly tapping against it.

There are times in every one's life when we get that one moment. That one single moment were everything is pure peace. It might not have to be like the place where Frank and I are, it could be anywhere, with anyone, doing everything...whatever it may be. There are moments like these were nothing matters, except for whoever you're with. It's times like these where nothing could ruin it, where I won't let anything ruin this. We all deserve these prefect moments at least once in our whole entire lives, because that one moment is worth everything. It doesn't matter if I won't be next to Frank in another month, or less. It doesn't matter if I won't kiss him again. It doesn't matter if my mother or brother won't have me anymore. All those worries leave me right now.
Because I'm just one more of the billions alive. I don't matter right now, and that's fine.

"M-Maddy, look."

I stare out into the horizon, where for a split second I feel like every thing's stopped moving. The sun is slowly peaking out from the puffy cotton that has been covering it for hours now. The sun has won the war. The colors are bouncing off the thin clouds, and starting to pour into the lake ahead of us. It was utter bliss. I can soon feel the rays hitting against my legs, and rising up to my face. I turn to look at Frank as the light dance his face. It's when I come to the realization of how much I owe this seventeen year old man. I owe him so much.

"F-Frank..."

His eyes turn to meet mine. I can see myself becoming so many things I want to become in his eyes. So many things I won't be able to become. He notions for me to continue, and I clear my throat.

I better say it now, or never.

"F-Frank, I-...I- l-lo"

Before my sentence is finished, he cuts me off with his warm lips. It's a quick kiss, but it's special.

"I love you, Maddy."

And he beats me to it.

I have no intentions in responding anymore to it. I had my chance, and he ruined it.

"Maddy, you're going to have to keep strong for me. Because I don't think I can." Frank mumbles into my hair.

"I've been doing that my whole life with others."

Although Frank, I was secretly wishing you could fix me, fix my head, just like our favorite band says.