Breathe

Nicole:
"What is the surprise Nicole?" I was nervous, I didn't really know how to tell Jon. I knew he would be happy, but I couldn't find the right words to say. "Well when I was in Edmonton I felt kinda sick one day. So I went to a doctor and they did some tests and they said I can't play hockey for a while." "Oh my god Nicole is everything okay?" "Yeah, it's nothing bad." He looked at me confused. "Then what is it?" "Jon, I'm pregnant." He looked at me in shock. "Are you serious?" "Yeah." "Nicole! We're gonna have a baby!" "I know!" He just kissed me and hugged me. He couldn't think of anything else to really do.

"We have to go tell the guys!" He started the car quickly and pulled out of the airport parking lot. "I'm so glad you came back now, I'm gonna be a dad!" "I know. I knew I had to come back and we were gonna have to deal with everything for the baby." "So it's for sure mine right?" "Of course! I didn't sleep with Taylor and I didn't plan on it." "Good, I am glad you didn't. I don't really know what it is but something about him doesn't seem right to me." "Same here." "So do you know if it's a boy or girl?" "No, but I was thinking of names while in Edmonton." "Let me hear em'." "Okay well a girl maybe Leah or Ally." "Okay I like them. how about boys?" "I could on think of one, J.B" "J.B?" "Yeah, Jonathan Beau." Jon looked at me."I love it." He knew right away Beau would be apart of the boys name no matter what, and he agreed 100%.

We got to the rink and couldn't wait to tell the guys. Seab's had been waiting to hear the reason for me not playing for about a week now. It must be killing him. "I am ready to meet this new GM." "He is nice I guess. Except for when he made me get you to leave." "Yeah except that part." We both laughed. We turned the corner to go in the locker room and standing in the room was a man I was hoping I wouldn't see for the rest of my life. "Nicole? What are you doing here? you are supposed to be in Edmonton." He sternly looked at Jon. I dropped Jon's hand and quickly ran to the one place I could always sit and think things over or cry whenever I needed to, our bench.

"Nicole? What's wrong? How does the GM know you?" "That's my dad. Now I know why he mad you get me to leave. He doesn't want me playing hockey, he never has. He made me live with my brother in Edmonton as soon as my brother had a place there. He doesn't want anything to do with me. I guess he heard about me playing here and wanted to end it." He came and sat next to me and put his arm around me. "Look, I didn't know, none of us did. We didn't know it was your dad or that he was even related to you."

"When I started playing as I got older my last name was changed to my moms because my dad didn't want to be linked to my hockey." "Why doesn't he want you playing?" "My brother had a career ending injury a few months before the NHL draft scouting began. He didn't want me to get hurt too, but I refused and still played. He didn't pay for any of my hockey gear,fees, or any of my college hockey stuff after my brother got hurt. He wouldn't do it." "He didn't want to be linked to you even though you were good enough to make it here?"

"Yeah. He didn't want people questioning him about his second failed hockey star if I got hurt. That's why I hate seeing him, because nothing I ever do is good enough for him. He tells me that all the time, no matter what it is, school,hockey, anything." "Look Nicole if he is gonna be here for a while I won't let him say a word to you about anything. I will talk to him since he is probably mad that you are back." "Thanks. But we can't mention the baby, I don't even wanna know what he will say about that." "We are gonna have to mention it sometime." "Just not right away, we will have to tell him together." "Okay." We sat on the bench for a few more minutes so I could dry my tears, then we went into the locker room to tell the guys without my dad finding out.