Consume Me Like a Fire

"Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." ~Elizabeth Stone

“So you’re going to go to culinary school now?” Spencer asked from his seat on Shiloh’s barstool. He had his elbows on the counter and was resting his chin in his hands.

“Yup, I want to open a bakery,” Shiloh smiled and turned to the oven when she heard it ding. Spencer smiled softly as he watched the girl he was slowly falling for. Shiloh beamed when she found her cupcakes looked really good. She set them on the cooling rack and turned to Spencer again.

“When I told my mom, she flipped her lid and got mad,” Shiloh mumbled and sat down next to him on the other barstool. Spencer sat up and nodded.

“That’s to be expected. If you child tells you that they’re not going to med school or nursing school all of a sudden and wanting to do something else completely different, wouldn’t you be worried that they’re making a mistake based on too many emotions?” Spencer asked. Shiloh thought about it and nodded.

“Why are you so smart?” she grumbled. Spencer smirked.

“Because I was born this way, baby,” Spencer tried to joke. Shiloh laughed at the Gaga reference and smiled at him. She placed her hand over his and looked at their fingers as they intertwined. She didn’t know what she meant to Spencer, but their relationship was slowly progressing. Maybe they were just close friends, or soon to be lovers. She wasn’t sure and she could bet money that Spencer wasn’t sure either.

“Do you want to kiss me?” she asked softly and looked up from their hands. Spencer blushed and gulped audibly. He suddenly couldn’t form a witty comment like before so he opted to caressing her face with his free hand. Shiloh’s eyes briefly closed before opening to watch the man in front of her.

Spencer’s stomach was flip flopping all over the place, but he forced himself to man up and he leaned forward. Shiloh was surprised at his sudden confidence, but she didn’t let it go to waste. She leaned in as well, but just before their lips met, someone started banging on her front door.

“Shiloh Adele! Open this door right now!” the two jumped apart from each other and Shiloh held back a curse. Spencer was too busy trying to control the redness of his face and figure out who was at the door to notice her unease.

“Listen to your mother and open the door. We know you’re in there.” Shiloh heard her father as well.

“Lord help me… It’s my parents,” she whispered and stood to answer the door. Spencer didn’t know much about them other than what Mr. Fritz said about them. That they were divorced and she went to see her mom more. Shiloh slowly opened the door to see her parents standing there with unreadable expressions on their faces.

“Are you going to let us in, or are we going to stand here all day?” her mom snapped. Shiloh moved aside and allowed her parents into her still new apartment. Spencer saw them come around the corner and into the living room and kitchen area. When they saw him, he slowly stood from the barstool.

“Mom, Dad, this is Dr. Spencer Reid. I didn’t know you guys were coming or I wouldn’t have made any plans,” Shiloh said. Her parents eyed the man in their daughter’s kitchen carefully.

“You’re that boy from the trial,” her mom said giving him another once over. Shiloh wanted to roll her eyes, but she held back.

“Ah, yes. I’m an FBI agent and I escorted Shiloh to and from the trial,” Spencer said politely. Shiloh smiled at his effort to please her parents, but it took a lot to please her mom in general.

“Yet that doesn’t explain why you're here—“

“Mom, Spencer is the one who found and saved me from Mr. Fritz. I invited him over and made cupcakes as a thank you,” Shiloh filled in and gestured over to the still cooling desserts. Her mom wrinkled her nose and looked up at her ex-husband for help.

“I was going to call you, but your mother wanted it to be a surprise. Sorry for the intrusion. I’m Nick, and this is my ex-wife, Anita,” Nick held out his hand to Spencer who took it firmly in his.

“That’s a good handshake you got there,” Nick smiled.

“I try. Sometimes I need to try to intimidate serial killers,” Spencer said lowly. Nick raised his eyebrows wanting Spencer to elaborate.

“I work with the behavior analysis unit in the FBI and we specialize in serial killings or out of the ordinary murders. My unit chief gave me a lesson on handshakes,” Spencer said thinking about Hotch. He told him not to get too close to Shiloh, but that was hopeless now.

“Well I appreciate everything you have done for my daughter. You’re obviously good at what you do,” Nick said. Spencer’s lips curved slightly at the compliment.

“How are you, honey?” Anita gushed and cupped her daughter’s face with her ring covered hands.

“I’m fine, Mom. Everything’s over now and I'm working on my schooling now.” Anita’s hands dropped and her face became stern.

“About that. I talked to your father about your sudden change. We both think you should reconsider your decision. You’ve spent so many years studying nursing. It would be a waste to throw all of that away now,” her mom tried to reason with her. Shiloh looked over at her dad and saw him shrug his shoulders a bit behind her mom’s back. He was much more laid back than she was.

Shiloh remembered what Spencer said and tried to put herself in her mom’s shoes. Yes, she had spent the majority of her college education on healthcare, but now she just didn’t feel happy pursuing it anymore. Who wants to have a job for the rest of their life that they aren’t satisfied with?

“Mom, this whole thing with Mr. Fritz opened my eyes. I don’t want to deal with blood or sickness or anything dealing with the human body. You need to understand that now it just gives me bad memories. Cooking makes me happy—“

“Cooking won’t get you anywhere in life! Have you even thought about how you’ll make a living selling cupcakes?!” Anita scolded. Spencer appeared by Shiloh’s side and rested a hand on her shoulder to soothe her. He could tell that her mother was upsetting her.

“Anita, you need to—“

“Not now Nicholas! Don’t be stupid, Shiloh. You’re throwing your life away,” her mom continued. Spencer watched Shiloh’s fists curl into balls.

“She’s just worrying about you,” he whispered to her softly. Shiloh looked up at him, tears beginning to well and her face flushed.

“Young lady, look at me when I’m talking to you—“

“Stop it already! I was almost killed and the only thing you care about is how much money I’ll make in the future. I could care less right now! Don’t you realize how close you were to losing me?! If it weren’t for Spencer, I would be dead! DEAD, Mom! Why can't you understand how much this has hurt me?” Shiloh cried. Spencer gently pulled her into his chest where she cried softly into his shirt.

“Shiloh… I— I’m sorry, I just…” her mom stumbled over her words. Nick rested a hand on her shoulder and shook his head softly.

“This whole thing has upset Shiloh greatly. I’ve been checking up on her every day to make sure she’s okay, but right now I think taking up cooking isn’t such a bad idea. It will help her cope with her emotions,” Spencer explained. Anita watched the two with a critical eye. Something was going on between them.

“Anita, I think Dr. Reid is right. Maybe cooking will help Shiloh,” Nick put his two cents in.

“I just don’t want her to make a huge mistake,” Anita mumbled still watching her daughter cling to the young doctor’s button up.

“Mom, let me make mistakes and learn from them. I’m old enough now to take responsibility for my actions,” Shiloh said boldly turning to face her mother. There was a reason why she visited her mom more than her dad. Her mom had such high expectations for Shiloh that she didn’t want to disappoint Anita by not meeting them. She went to nursing school because her mom recommended it and she spends most of her holidays with her because she knows her mom is all alone. Her father has another wife now and he’s happy. It’s not that she doesn’t love her dad, no, she used to be a daddy’s girl, but she knows that her mom needs her more. But enough is enough. It’s time for Shiloh to draw the line somewhere.

“Honey…”

“Mom, listen to me. I have done everything I can to try and please you, but now it’s my turn to be happy. And I’m not going to settle for anything less than my happiness. I’m sorry,” she whispered the last part. Anita blinked and looked away trying to hold back her tears. She knew that her daughter was grown up, but she didn’t want to admit it.

“Shiloh, I love you so much, but you’re right. It’s time for me to let go… Well, your father and I will be here for 2 more days. We’re staying at a hotel nearby. Call me so we can plan something together,” Anita said kissing her daughter’s cheek and bolting out the door.

“Uh…”

“It’s okay, Honey. Your mother understands. We’ll see you later. Take care of my baby, Dr. Reid,” Nick said kissing Shiloh’s forehead and leaving after Anita. Once the front door closed, Shiloh turned around slowly and faced Spencer.

“Oh my God…” she mumbled and let her head drop onto Spencer’s covered chest. He chuckled and pushed her back gently to look at her.

“That wasn’t so bad. At least now you and your mom can talk more openly,” he added. Shiloh smiled and looked up at the man who was beginning to mean so much to her.

“Thanks, Spence…” she whispered and stood up on her tippy toes just enough to press her soft lips against his.