Looking at the Letter That You Left

Dear Jordan,

Hopefully my funeral went off without a hitch. I’m sorry that you had to go to my funeral. So you may ask why I have sent you to the park. Well because my friend, I know you wouldn’t want to be in a room with all my family and your family all probably getting drunk. So I thought why not leave Jordan another surprise.

Go to our hidden bush – you know the one where we hide our vodka in on the weekends. There you hopefully will find a bottle of vodka and a iPod. Yes it’s my iPod look after it for me. Anyway if it isn’t there then some tramp as came and pinched it meaning they owe [strike]me[/strike] you a necklace.

Jordan frowned at this, what Claire was going on about. She walked over to the bush and there she found a bottle of vodka and Claire’s beloved IPod she picked them up. That’s when she noticed the necklace, identical to the one around her neck except it said friend and not best. It was the other half of the heart.

You may wonder why I wasn’t wearing it, truth be told the priest told me no gold was to be worn on the body during cremation. So I thought I would give it to you so at least you won’t be missing half a heart.

Jordan, I can’t begin to imagine how you feel right now but thank you for going I’m sure my sister needed you. I know I didn’t tell you how much I loved you and appreciated you as much as I should have, so here it is. I’ve had the best years of my life with you, I honestly couldn’t see myself being who I am today without you. Now get the vodka down your neck and listen to your playlist.

“This is not goodbye because I will remember you.” I know it’s un cool to quote lyrics but I felt the need.

Jordan, this is it. I mean you will always be my best friend but you can not live your life without another best friend. I wouldn’t want you to. So don’t be afraid to adopt another best friend.

Oh and don’t forget to go to that concert, if you don’t go I will come back and haunt you forever. – That would be so cool; I might need to have words with the big man when I go.

I know this letter may seem pointless, but this is an important part of the grieving process and besides you have to go back to college soon. You are not going to let your future go down the drain just because I’ve gone.

While I am writing this right now, you are probably sat in your room hating me for not telling you sooner. Tonight I told you the chemo hadn’t worked; nothing can hurt me more the look on your face when I told you. I’m so sorry.

So this is your chance to celebrate my life, the true way. Go get drunk, sing loud and clear and don’t forget to go home before midnight. Cry if you have to this is the one night. After tonight go back to the cheerful bubbly Jordan I know and love.

Ps- I love you, best friends forever and always in eternity.
Jordan put the necklace round her neck, and un screwed the vodka bottle. She turned the iPod on and found a playlist called “For Jordan” she looked through the list it was full of Jonas Brothers songs, a few special songs her and Claire named their song’s and a few soppy ones which Claire knew Jordan loved.

Jordan stayed bed for the rest of the week; she had only moved to shower and to let her mum know she was still alive. The concert was in a few days, she didn’t even want to think about it.

Jordan knew Claire wouldn’t want the tickets going to waste that was why she logged onto EBay and sold them for £80 each. She was going to buy a bench or something with money she got so she had a place to go when she needed to feel closer to Claire.

After that day Jordan got back into a routine of getting up, going to college doing the work set, coming back home and getting into bed. It was as if her body was taking control and her mind was still wondering in the past.

She kept expecting to see a letter waiting for her every day when she arrived home from college, but there never was. It had been two weeks since Claire’s funeral and her family were discussing where to scatter her ashes.

Every night before Jordan went to bed, she would sit by her window and look out at the stars, instantly spotting that one star that sparkled brighter than the rest. This somehow helped her to go to sleep at night, just knowing Claire was looking down on her.

“Jordan, aren’t you going to the concert tomorrow night?” Mandy asked her daughter softly.

“I don’t think I can mum, as much as Claire wanted me to go and enjoy myself it just doesn’t feel right going there without her.” Jordan said her eyes watering.

“I’m sure she would understand, what did you do with the tickets?

“I sold them on EBay, and with the money I was thinking about getting a bench or something so people could you know go there and feel closer to Claire.” Jordan said playing with her hands.

“Oh sweetie, that is the most caring thing I have ever seen you do. Claire would probably like that.” Mandy played with her daughter’s hair.

“No she wouldn’t she would have forced me to go the concert.” Jordan laughed a little remembering all the threats Claire made about Jordan not attending the concert.

Mandy didn’t say anything she just continued to play with Jordan’s hair. In the past few weeks her mum had been her rock, without her Jordan knew she would have followed Claire to heaven shortly after.

“Mum, did you know Claire was writing the letters?” Jordan asked her mum after a moment’s silence.

“Well, Christine mentioned it briefly but I thought nothing off it. Anyway would you like something to eat?” Mandy tried to change the subject

Jordan went to bed soon after the talk with her mum, she knew tomorrow was going to be hard. She had waited months for the concert to finally come but now that Claire had gone she didn’t feel excitement whenever she thought about it instead the excitement was replaced with fear of the unknown future and loneliness.

Little did Jordan know Claire knew her friend more than she was letting on.