If I Were Gay

If I Were Gay:
Inspired by Stephen Lynch

"Here we are, dear old friend. You and I, drunk again.."

The light from the TV shone across the room, illuminating his angelic features perfectly. I shook my head, realizing that I must have been staring and took another swig of the malt whiskey in my hand. Ryan looked at me, and softly laughed. I smiled. His laugh was pretty cute, which is weird for me to say, since I'm a dude. But it's not like I'm gay or anything. It's just a really sweet laugh.
"How much have you had?" His voice broke my train of thought, and I looked up at him.
"This is my second bottle, not including the half of one I had at the bar." I slurred, smiling in his direction. He shook his head, smirking.
"C'mon dude. Lets get you to a bed. You look terrible." Ryan smiled, and began to help me up. I leaned on him as we walked towards his bedroom.

"Laughs have been had and tears have been shed, maybe the whiskey's gone to my head,"

When we reached his room, I collapsed happily on his bed, and soon he was laying next to me, looking over at me. I stared back, trying to read his thoughts from the expression on his face. 'If I didn't know better, I'd say he was smiling in a really flirty way.' I thought. 'But I do know better, and neither of us is gay.' I laughed realizing how drunk I must be. But as I stared at him, I started to think about what it would be like if I was gay.

"but if I were gay, I would give you my heart, and if I were gay you'd be my work of art. And if I were gay, we'd swim in romance. But I'm not gay. So get your hand out of my pants."

I mean, if I was gay, I would totally be falling for him. He is the most attractive guy that I've ever seen. His amazing green eyes, and the way they shone when the light hit them. His perfectly defined lips and the way the curled into his smile. Was I falling for him?! When I looked over at him again, he seemed closer than he was the last time. And before I knew it his hand was gently pressed against my stomach, and was soon sliding downward. As his fingers began to wrap around my erection, I shook free and pulled his hand out of my pants.

"It's not that I don't care, I do. I just don't see myself in you.. Another time, another scene. I'd be right behind you if you know what I mean."

"Ry, I'm not gay. I mean, you're fucking hot, and if I was I'd totally keep going. But.. I'm just not.. We've been friends forever, and I just don't want to ruin anything, or make anything awkward.."
Ryan looked down, and nodded. "It's cool, I understand." he said, giving me one of his half smiles.
I sat up, looking over at him. I felt bad now.
"You do know that if I was, I'd fuck you."

"If I were gay, I would give you my soul. And if I were gay, I'd give you my hole.. being. And if I were gay, we'd tair down the walls."

As I lay there, my mind began to imagine what it would have been like if I hadn't stopped him. If I had kept going. If we had kept going. I was sure it wouldn't have been any regular sex. It would have been rough, but amazing. Just the way I like it. The way no one's been able to give it to me before. But somehow even just that glimpse of what it would have been like, I knew he would satisfy.

"But I'm not gay, so won't you stop cupping my.. hand."

As I shut my eyes, I began to vizualize the way his hand would have felt, wrapping around my member, and maybe even cupping the family jewels. I smiled at the thought. Then almost immediatly shook it from my mind, and opened my eyes. His hand was resting on top of mine. I pulled mine out from under his, but Ryan only inched closer to me.
"Stephen, it's okay. Just try it. That's all I ask. Give us a try.. Please."

"We've never hugged. We've never kissed. I've never been intimate with your fist. You have opened brand new doors, get over here, and drop your drawers!"

I was silent. Thinking about what would happen to our friendship if I did this. We'd never even hugged before, let alone kiss or make love. Then it hit me like a train. I loved him. And I always had. It had always been there. I was just too afraid to act on it. Not only that, but I wanted him with a raging lust that seemed to control the both of us. I looked up at him, and within seconds of him smiling at me, I was flush against him, roughly pushing him down onto the bed, and removing his pants. This is what I wanted and needed. And I didn't care that I was gay. That we were gay. Together.

THE END