Thinking of You

Gerard elevated towards her and immediately took her in his arms, coaxing her to turn around away from his irritating, interfering family. "Honey," he kissed the back of her head, unsure of how much of the conversation she'd heard

Mikey and Gerard's parents continued talking amongst themselves, not wanting to make Lindsey feel uncomfortable. Mikey drank his coffee silently, rubbing his eyes under his glasses.

"Oh, Gerard?" Mikey called. "I just this minute remembered... We're booked at the studio from one til four today,"

Gerard and Lindsey stood in the doorway, she looked up at him and sighed almost miserably. They'd be separated for at least three hours today. He looked down at her and kissed the tip of her nose, making her smile.

"Gerard, aren't you gunna introduce me?" Donna asked quietly, intrigued at the girl in her son's arms.

Gerard wrapped his arms tightly around Lindsey and put his head on top of hers, kissing protectively. "Ma this is Lindsey," he said, still angry at how his mother had been talking before. "Sugar," he kissed Lindsey's forehead "This is my mom, Donna, and my dad, Don,"

Lindsey giggled at the names but walked out of Gerard's arms to hold a hand out. "Hi," she said shyly "pleased to meet you. Hey Mikey," she waved, half embarrassed. They blatantly all knew she'd spent the night.

To her surprise, Donna hugged her gently and smiled. "Sorry if you heard anything before." Donna looked at her longer "You're so pretty, honey."

Lindsey blushed and felt her hand then being shook gently by Don. She looked at them both and felt an affinity with them both. Gerard got his sweet talk from Donna, and his shyness from Don.

"You have two wonderful sons," she smiled sweetly. "I like them a lot,"

"Particularly our first born, it seems, eh?" Don looked at Donna then back at Lindsey, smiling. He and Gerard looked spookily alike.

Lindsey rubbed the back of her neck, blushing, and bit her lip. Just as if on cue, Gerard crept up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Ma, look after Lindsey today while I'm at the studio, okay?"

"But of course!" Donna fussed.

--

Lindsey stood in the hot shower and closed her eyes as the warm water forcefully sprinkled on her face. She was in Gerard's en-suite and he was, as far as she knew, in his bedroom getting ready for the band's studio time that afternoon. She sighed. She didn't want him to go, particularly. Even though she was anticipating spending time with Gerard's mom...she seemed fun.

Just then, the shower door slid and Lindsey jumped, turned around and saw Gerard standing there, his arms reaching out and encircling her small waist.

She breathed, relieved, and pulled him close, joining their lips under the streaming water romantically. Lindsey cupped his face with both hands, standing on her tiptoes to deepen the kiss. Lindsey's abrupt moan as Gerard pushed her back against the freezing tiles was drowned out by the loud noise of the shower. Simultaneously, the bathroom windows began to fog as moisture and condensation on the shower curtain began to form.

Gerard stopped making out with her, and simply kissed her lips over and over a few times before resuming that intense, deep kissing.

"I could kiss you forever," he shouted above the obnoxiously loud shower noise.

She said nothing but looked into his eyes, curling a finger round one of his longer strands of hair.

--

"As lead rains will pass on through our phantoms, forever, forever. Like scarecrows that fuel this flame, we're burning, forever and ever. Know how much I want to show you you're the only one..." Gerard sang, "Like a bed of roses there's a dozen reasons in th-"

"Okay, okay," Andrew waved his hand. "I like it. That'll work well in the end track."

Gerard looked at him, nodding. "Thanks man. Just wrote it this morning."

Mikey kept shooting Gerard looks. The whole atmosphere was... not tense, because Andrew was vapid and clueless as to what was going on... No one else knew except Gerard and Mikey, but it was still awkward. Keeping secrets - especially from the band, his best friends - irked Gerard.

"Are you guys all free next Thursday?" Andrew asked "we need album artwork doing."

"Get your girlfriend to take the pictures!" Otter chimed in.

Andrew sniggered. "Ha, yeah. Well, maybe. You know women are only good for one thing," he winked, chucking.

The band laughed half-heartedly, all for the exception of Gerard who, at this comment, was seething. He turned around from Andrew and gave Mikey a look, cracking his knuckles.

"Although..." Andrew continued "she isn't even good for that!"

Gerard closed his eyes. Why ever had he agreed to come here? This was complete and utter torment.

"Looks like Gerard got lucky last night," Andrew sniggered, referring to the hickeys up and down Gerard's neck. "I wish I could remember the last time my girlfriend and I had sex," Gerard felt nauseous with rage. But what could he do? Nothing. "Well...consensual sex anyway," Andrew howled, laughing hysterically.

Gerard abruptly walked out of the door, kicking it as he stormed out, his blood boiling. He could hear Andrew calling his name, but he kept walking, needing to see Lindsey before he ran back in there and broke Andrew's nose.

"How fuckin dare he," Gerard muttered over and over. "That piece of shit," he spat, his fists clenched as he reached his car.

--

Gerard walked through the front door, still fuming, but what he saw momentarily warmed his heart. His mom and Lindsey were sat on the couch drinking wine, looking through - oh God - baby pictures. Lindsey was giggling and as he listened, he temporarily forgot why he had stormed out of the studio angrily. Lindsey saw him out of the corner of her eye and her face lit up even more. She grinned wide and got up from the couch, walking over to him. He buried his face in her strawberry-shampoo smelling hair and closed his eyes, soothed by her.

"You're back early?" she questioned. "Me and your mom have been looking through old photos. Gee you were so chubby," she squeezed his belly playfully before cupping his face and kissing his thin lips.

"I had to leave..." he simply said, his tone exuding angriness.

She furrowed her brows and looked up at him, confused. "Donna, I'll be right back," she called as he tugged on her hand, trying to pull her downstairs to his bedroom.

"Okay sweetie!" Donna shouted, still laughing at their previous conversation.

Gerard closed and locked the door behind them before pushing her against it, kissing her sweetly and reassuringly. She licked her lips afterwards, gazing up at him.

"What did he do?" She asked nervously.

Gerard ran his fingers through his hair. All he could think of was the "non-consensual sex" remark Andrew made and how he was basically alluding to the fact that he had raped Lindsey (along with all the other domestic abuse he'd put her through). It made Gerard want to throw up.

He pulled Lindsey to the bed and they sat down. He ran a hand through her soft hair and she looked at him, waiting for him to tell her.

"Andrew was talking about you today," Gerard bit his lip. Lindsey motioned with her head for him to carry on. "He said something really fucking disgusting to do with the fact he couldn't remember the last time you guys had sex, or 'consensual sex' anyway. Basically making a joke out of rape... joking that he rapes you" Gerard looked at her curiously, "admitting that he rapes you...?" He half-asked.

She turned her face down and looked away from him.

He was right.

"Oh Lindsey..." he whispered. "Baby... No..." he felt choked up.

Lindsey looked at him and saw Gerard had tears threatening to fall. She opened her mouth to talk but no words would come out. A single tear fell from his eye and she kissed it away, before moving to his lips.

Gerard saw it as an invitation and made no hesitation in returning her kisses, hungrily, and pushing her back on the bed, hovering over her.

"Be with me," Gerard whispered, tugging on the hem of her top. "Finish it... I can't bear to see you get hurt anymore, baby" he groaned, pulling it over her head. "You don't need him, you don't belong with him..." Gerard sighed against her skin, kissing hungrily, "Don't go back..." he groaned against her lips.

Lindsey let a few tears fall - unsure whether they were the happy kind or the sad kind - and knew he was talking sense and that he was right. She just didn't know how.

"It's not something I could just 'do', especially as Andrew wouldn't take it well at all. I'd have to plan it out..." she told him.

Gerard took in what she said and understood. He kissed her neck softly before looking into her big brown eyes.

"Run away with me..." he whispered, pulling her underwear down gently.

Lindsey bit her lip and impatiently started unbuttoning his jeans.

"Anytime you want..." she smiled wide, sealing her promise with a soft kiss.

She watched him fully remove his jeans and boxers - it was daylight now and Gerard seemed oddly self-conscious... he still had his T-Shirt on, for example, and seemed to want to cover himself as much with the duvet as possible. Her legs encircled his waist and she slid her hands up his t shirt, caressing his soft, warm skin.

"I used to be fat," Gerard smiled - trying to hide his embarrassment and shame. "I still have marks and stuff from it..," he whispered, not meeting her eyes.

Lindsey looked at him and never before had he possibly seemed more attractive. Insecure, shy Gerard was possibly even sexier than confident, seductive Gerard. She joined their lips and pushed him back so she was straddling his lap - like how they'd been last night. She took his head in her hands and kissed him delicately. He'd been cherishing her and saying how beautiful she was last night, now it was her turn to do it to him.

"I don't care," she whispered, pulling away and pressing their noses together. "I love you. You're perfect to me," she looked him in the eyes and hooked a finger on the neck band of his T-Shirt and kissed him steamily, feeling his erection dig in and his hands hold her tightly. "You're so beautiful," she whispered to him, finding his eyes. Long, gorgeous eyelashes. Soft, almost feminine features. He really was beautiful... So handsome, pretty.

Gerard grinned wide and laughed gently, blushing, his tiny teeth showing. The love was so radiant from both of them, it was almost a physical thing - so tangible and real. There was no denying it, no going back.

"Uh," Lindsey groaned, feeling that delicious satisfaction of being filled with Gerard. She breathed out into his mouth. "I never wanna e-ever-" she gasped as he sped up "ever do this with anyone e-else..." she finished, barely coherent. "Just you. Oh, just you G-Gerard..." she bit her lip in agonising pleasure as he laid her down on the bed and lifted her legs over his shoulders.

Lindsey's face scrunched up and her eyes shut tight. He went harder, deeper. She held on to him for dear life. Those sweet lips were soon on her neck - covering her flesh with passionate, delicious kisses.

They were lost, right on the verge. Lindsey could feel it building up - waiting to explode like a volcano inside her. She'd never orgasmed in her life - not even self-induced - before last night. She couldn't. Gerard was the only one who could do it. And she fucking loved it.

Lindsey wrapped her arms right round his neck as she moaned loudly into his mouth, completely breathless. She couldn't stop, couldn't quieten down, the intense orgasm ripped through her groins and it felt way too good to be able to suppress.

"Fuck, Linds," Gerard breathed, the hard, fast, thrusting into her now slowing down seeing as though he'd reached orgasm too. He slid out of her and collapsed on the bed, Lindsey in his arms. Cheeks flushed, panting breathlessly.

Interrupting them was a firm knock on the basement door.

"Go away Mikey," Gerard called, snuggling Lindsey into his arms.

"Gerard it's Andy. Have you got a minute?"

Lindsey's heart sank and she felt the colour literally drain out of her. She looked at Gerard with the most horrified expression and wide eyes.

Gerard, similarly, looked horrified. He couldn't pretend they weren't here now, and plus if he did that - Andrew might walk up to the house and ask his mom and she'd probably let shit slip.

"Uh yeah, Andrew, just a minute..." Gerard looked around helplessly. He lowered his voice and whispered in Lindsey's ear. "Get your stuff and go upstairs, explain to my mom what's happening and then tell her Gerard said 'take me to his and Mikey's old bedroom', okay?" he kissed her lips silently a few times. She nodded, obviously nervous. "Come on baby, quick," he motioned as they both put clothes on. He watched her gather her stuff from the floor, pushing her small suitcase further under Gerard's bed so it wasn't noticeable.

They kissed one last time before Gerard ushered her out the door, patting the back of her gently, kissing her head.

"Andrew, I'll be right with you," Gerard called, trying to diminish the sound of any nervousness or guilt in his voice.

Gerard walked to the basement door and opened it, all of a sudden all the anger returning as he saw Andrew's face.

"About the studio..." Andrew started, exhaling a cigarette.

"Don't worry about it, I came home cause I wasn't feeling good. Hence why I've been in bed," Gerard motioned towards his pyjamas.

"Ohhh," Andrew looked. "I thought I'd upset ya! Good to know you got a sense of humour," he smiled.

Gerard didn't smile back.

"Can I come in?" Andrew asked after a moment of brief silence. Gerard said nothing, just opened the door wider for Andrew to slip inside. "Nice room, you massive dork. Jesus." Andrew laughed, pointing at the Star Wars figurines and stacks of comics. "Gerard you need to get laid!"

"I am getting laid." he simply replied, anger still in his tone. He couldn't forgive or forget what this scumbag had put the woman he loved through.

Andrew laughed, leaning forward and put his hands together, all of a sudden seemingly engrossed in the conversation. "Oh yeah?"

Gerard nodded, "Yeah. She-" and then he saw, out of the corner of his eye, Lindsey's phone laying on the bedside table. Shit.