Thinking of You

Lindsey awoke to Andrew’s uncomfortable grasp shaking her. Not the way she’d like to have been awoken from a peaceful sleep.

“Up.” He commanded, as she squinted open her eyes and sighed to herself. “Important day today Lindsey, I got a text from Ray saying I got the job as manager, but you were too stupid to stay awake so you missed that last night.”

Maybe if you hadn’t beat me. was all that was running through Lindsey’s head.

“And so, today we’re meeting them all in the studio, start talking about recording. Isn’t this exciting? My career is finally taking off Linds!” Andrew grinned, as he sat on the edge of the bed.

Lindsey smiled softly, happy that he’d called her ‘Linds’ – a sign that he wasn’t in too much of a bad mood. But she was soon brought back down when she shifted in bed, and her ribs started to ache from last night. She could hardly remember; but she faintly recalled there had been a wall involved at some point.

Ouch.

“So get up and dressed. I want you ready in an hour.” He said without another word and left the room.

Lindsey felt tears start to brim in her deep brown eyes. Her life was fucking horrible, and she knew it. All she ever wanted was to just feel loved, and wanted. Warm, and protected. The thought that she might never experience the meaning of true love scared her, and she desperately wanted this relationship with Andrew over.

She struggled out of the bed, and walked into the bathroom, staring at her reflection as her bottom lip trembled in sadness.

“Ugly.” She whispered. “You’re so ugly.” She told herself, “no one is ever, going to love you, Lindsey. Why should they? You’re so fucking useless!” she screamed, grabbing the soap which was on the side table and throwing it on the mirror as tears streamed down her face.

She leant over the sink as she cried, her shoulders shaking violently as she lashed out and released the inner anger and self-hatred which had been building up, with no help whatsoever from Andrew.

-

“You know, G, I don’t really like the way this Andrew guy is. I mean, have you ever met someone and just thought there was something they were hiding?” Frank said discreetly as the band, now a complete quintet with Gerard’s recovery to full health, sat in the lobby of Eyeball Records waiting for their new manager to arrive.

“What d’ya mean, Frankie? Sure you’re not just being paranoid?” Gerard sniggered as he exhaled smoke from the cigarette he held between his thinly lined lips. He flicked his ebony hair out of his rounded yet soft, slightly feminine face, exposing his pretty hazel eyes as he met Frank’s concerned ones.

“Just like, not so much him. The way he was talking to his girlfriend, that’s what got me the most...” Frank mumbled, still thinking about it as he chewed on one of his nails.

“He has a girlfriend?” Gerard asked, suddenly interested. “What’s she like?”

“Well she’s nice, like she seems a really loving and friendly person. Oh! That reminds me, yeah, she’s really artsy like you. She kinda reminds me of you....in the weirdest way...” Frank giggled.

“Yeah!” Ray exclaimed, “she’s cute, kind of Italian looking. But, I don’t know G... the way he was talking to her and treating her... you should’a been there, dude.”

“Mmm.” Bob concluded. “There’s something not right about them.”

“Andrew beats and bullies his girlfriend, you’re all saying?” Gerard asked, confused. “That’s fucked up. I can’t have a manager who does that... fuck no.”

“We have no evidence.” Mikey, the voice of wisdom, suddenly said. “All we know is this Lindsey lady is really insecure, and yeah he was kind of bullying her last night, and not treating her how maybe you should treat your girlfriend, but it was only once. If we see a recurring pattern of this, maybe... but we don’t know anything for sure.”

“Yeah, Mikes you’re right.” Frank sighed, “just the impression I got though. Eh.” he shrugged.

Suddenly, Andrew walked through the doors, bringing with him a gust of freezing December air.

“Sorry I kept you waiting, guys!” Andrew gushed as he walked up the quintet. “Gerard! Good to see you buddy, you doin’ better?”

“Much better, thanks dude.” Gerard smiled back, his eyes moving to the front door curiously awaiting a woman to walk through.

“How’s your girlfriend? It was nice meeting her last night, she seems like a really nice girl.” Frank said genuinely.

“Lindsey? Oh, yeah. She is supposed to have ‘followed me right in’, she probably just got talking to someone she knew outside. Pain in the ass, she is.” Andrew sighed, running a hand through his hair.

Frank shot Gerard a glance, and Gerard looked down, as if thinking.

“Can’t hang around all day for the stupid woman, we’ll go into one of the studio’s and when she comes in I’ll tell the receptionist to tell her which room we’re in. It’s fine.” Andrew said eagerly, walking up to the front desk.

“Told you.” Frank whispered.

-

Lindsey walked through the corridors of the Eyeball studios, she always got lost here, but eventually found the correct door.

She walked in quietly, hearing drums, then cymbals, then someone singing. Careful as not to disturb anything, she walked in and took a place next to Andrew, who shot her an evil glance as she did so.

He didn’t say anything, but just remained watching the band from behind the sound-proof wall of glass.

Lindsey sighed deeply, and rolled her eyes at him. She looked down, and then back up again at the band – most of them she recognized from the previous night, except...

The singer.

Lindsey smiled slightly at the undeniable attractive man stood before her singing. She had seemed to have caught his eye too, as discreetly yet seductively he sang, his eyes lingering on her for seconds at a time, before he fluttered his eyelashes heavenly as he took a breath.

‘Who the...?’ she thought, finding herself blushing as the man’s gorgeous eyes smiled at her from across the way.

“Running away and hiding with you...” he sang softly, his eyes on Lindsey’s.

He sang beautifully, so calm and soft in this particular song and it was almost overwhelming as the guitar riffs kicked in.

“...I fought them all off just to hold you close and tight...”

Ruining the moment, Andrew told them to stop, and they put down their instruments and walked through the glass door and to where Lindsey and Andrew were standing. Gerard’s curious eyes never leaving this beautiful woman who’d just walked through the door.

‘That can’t be his girlfriend...’ Gerard thought to himself.

“Hey Lindsey!” Bob, Mikey, Ray and Frank all chorused, giving her welcoming hugs.

“Hey guys,” she giggled, “Wow, I loved that song!”

“I don’t believe we’ve met.” a new and mysterious voice spoke to her, in a low and nearly even seductive tone.

Lindsey turned her head, and was greeted with the most staggeringly handsome face she’d ever seen. He was even more gorgeous close up.

“I know!” Lindsey smiled, “I’m Lindsey, hi.” she added, extending her hand for Gerard to shake.

“Gerard.” he stated. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Lindsey.” he smiled at her, a knowing look lingering in his eyes as they smiled at each other and shook hands. Andrew was talking in the background as the two got acquainted.

“Gerard?” Andrew repeated, clicking his fingers.

“Sorry.” Gerard chuckled, “yeah I got it, I’ll do it a bit better next time.”

“I thought it was really good though, Andrew—” Lindsey protested.

“Quiet. Who’s job is this again, Lindsey?” Andrew questioned.

“Yours but it’s just my opin—”

“No one cares.” he dismissed. “Now guys, how about we all go have a beer upstairs?”

Andrew, too ignorant to see that the way he was acting towards Lindsey was changing everyone’s idea of him, especially Gerard’s, rapidly.

As they all agreed, Gerard’s eyes silently showed concern as he looked at Lindsey, questions in his head that he was dying to know answers to.