Thinking of You

She swerved violently as the tears fell from her deep brown eyes, trickling down her pretty face as she gripped the wheel so tightly her knuckles turned white.

"I wish I'd never been born…" she whimpered to herself, struggling to breathe as she cried out so hard.

She was hyperventilating, and honestly the only thought keeping her from driving off a cliff was knowing tomorrow would ease and take her mind off her current state of mind completely.

She gripped the wheel as she pulled onto the curb with a screeching halt, not knowing what street she was on. She rested her head against the wheel, wanting to do it harder so she knocked herself out, but resisted the urge. Lindsey was deeply disturbed by all the thoughts running through her head right now.

She blinked softly and lifted her head, exhaling deeply and trying to rationalise her thinking. Looking around, she faintly made out the street sign which read 'Passaic Avenue'. Lindsey bit her lip nervously and felt like crying again.

"Great." she sighed under her breath, having no idea where she was or how to get back home.

Lindsey was not originally from New Jersey; but Connecticut. She had wanted to move to New York City to pursue her dreams to go to art school and become either an artist or a photographer, but since she met Andrew - all of that had changed. Andrew wouldn't allow her to go to art school because he didn't find her school hours 'convenient' for him. So instead he'd made her a stay at home girlfriend, who wasn't allowed any time with her friends, and who was basically expected to obey his every command.

She was pulled back into reality as her loud ringtone suddenly blared through the silence. Andrew was calling her. She sighed heavily, her stomach doing flip-flops as she debated whether or not to answer it. This is the first time she had ever done anything like this before, and granted, he was not going to be happy.

"H-hello?" she muttered, trying to sound strong but failing miserably.

"Lindsey." his voice was calm and controlled. "I'm sorry." he apologised.

She rolled her eyes, this is what he always did, made her feel guilty and like it was all her fault.

"It's just you're never there for me, you know? I feel like you don't appreciate me." he said softly.

And there it was. The guilt.

She ran a hand through her hair. "N-no, I do. I promise. It's just I w-was t-tired a-and-"

"I know baby, I know. I do nothing wrong though; I feed you, I give you a place to stay, I give you love, I just got you a job today, and you can't even repay me with a good time?"

She sighed defeatedly. He was right.

"Yeah… I'm really sorry…" she said genuinely, her eyes brimming with new tears.

"Well I guess I forgive you… Just don't hurt me so much, Linds."

She bit her lip softly.

"Hey, where are you anyway?" he sighed.

"Uhh…" she started. "P-Passaic avenue…?" she said quietly, dreading what his reaction might be.

"Passaic Ave?!" he repeated in disbelief, and Lindsey frowned softly as she was sure she heard him utter 'stupid whore.' in the background. "Right… Well done Lindsey you drove fifty minutes away from where we live." he said. She could hear the anger rise in his voice, and could practically feel his eyes glaring at her from down the phone.

She bit her lip softly, until he gasped as if he'd suddenly remembered something.

"I'll call you back." he rushed before he hung up.

She sat there unaware of what to do as the soft pitter patter of rain started to hit the windows softly. Her cell phone beeped once signalling she'd received a text a few minutes later and she rushed to check it.

From: Andrew
Gerard and Mikey Way live at #70 Passaic Ave. Go to their house and wait there. I'm coming to get you.

Just as she finished reading it, she nearly jumped out of her skin and squealed loudly as a knock on the window startled her. She looked out and was met by oh no… Gerard Way was standing there, a small grin on his face.

"Well hey stranger." he smiled as she got out of the car, however his smile soon faded when he saw the tear tracks and how red and puffy her big pretty brown eyes were. "Andrew told me you were out here somewhere so I came looking for you." he said softly, frowning gently when she didn't meet his eyes. "Hey…" he whispered softly, and it was almost overwhelming for both of them as she looked up into his hazel eyes. "What happened?" he whispered again.

Lindsey tried to talk, but no words would come out, she felt pathetic as her throat constricted and she let out a choked sob.

Gerard knew of nothing else to do and just wrapped his arms around her petite frame. They had only met each other earlier but there was an undeniable attraction; and he understood her perfectly even though he did not know her.

"Hey…" he whispered as she hesitantly wrapped her arms around him too, just needing someone to hug right now. "It's okay. Shh…" he whispered, smiling down at her, his voice gentle and caring as he led her across the road and into a house - which she assumed - was his.

-

Lindsey was sat at the edge of Gerard's double bed in the basement - his room. Gerard was upstairs in the kitchen making coffee. He was incredibly sweet and nurturing and she found it soothing; just what she needed at a time like this. She was surprised he still lived at home being twenty-six. Not that it was an issue or anything, it just surprised her.

She looked around the room curiously, her eyes greeted by the Iron Maiden and Sci-Fi posters on his walls, the Star Wars memorabilia and comics stacked on various shelves. Lindsey bit her lip as she smiled, thinking how adorable and dorky it was. She stood up to get a closer look at the random and quirky objects in his room - a bat paperweight, batman action figures, a Rocky Horror mug, and plenty of other things.

And then she saw, next to a tremendous stack of comics; sheets and sheets of drawings. She picked them up and flicked through them. They were illustrations, mainly, although there was some manga and fine art thrown in there. Her heart skipped as she admired his work. He was extremely talented.

The door opened as Gerard walked in, holding a coffee in each hand, yet she remained looking at his art - totally captivated by his work.

"Uh… hey…" Gerard blushed, holding his hand forward for her to take the coffee.

"You're an artist?" she looked at him wonderingly, "thank you…" she smiled as she took the coffee.

He rubbed his neck "Yeah, I, uh, I wanna be a comic book artist…" he said quietly, almost unconfidently.

"You should be! Gerard these are really amazing!" she grinned, her face lighting up for the first time since she could remember.

He blushed again softly, his pretty hazel eyes looking down shyly. "Well thank you very much…"

She put his drawings back and sat down on the edge of the bed with him, both sipping their coffee awkwardly.

"Mmm this is good." she smiled. "So you went to art school?"

"Yeah I did." he nodded, "SVA. I love art."

She looked down sadly, feeling a pang in her heart. "I would loved to have gone to art school…" she sighed.

"You like art too? How come you didn't go?" he asked.

She shifted uncomfortably. "I love art… it's the only thing I'm good at. Fine art." she smiled, carefully avoiding his second question.

"I would love to see some of your stuff…" he said quietly, thrilled that she was into art. One thing they had in common already. "But how come you never went to art school?" he asked again, sincerely hoping she didn't think he was prying.

She all of a sudden seemed disconnected from the conversation. "Just… stuff got in the way I guess." she said quietly.

Gerard looked at her concerned. He could tell that underneath the tears and those sad brown eyes, she was a fiery, creative, happy, young woman but something was keeping her from reaching that full potential. Something was dragging her down, and Gerard had a horrible feeling that it was on it's way to his house right now.

"I know we don't know each other that well yet… but I am here for you, Lindsey, I think you're beat-" he looked down at her arms softly, seeing faint bruises that he hadn't seen before. "Are those bruises on your arms?" his voice was raised slightly louder in concern. "Where did you get them?"

Lindsey looked down, she had no idea what was Gerard's deal, she didn't usually like it when people got into her business as far as Andrew was concerned, but Gerard… there was something about him…

She opened her mouth to speak when the doorbell rang.