Blind Ambition

ADRIEN'S POV

That night, I couldn't sleep. I was tossing and turning on my bunk, maybe because I feel guilty. This has always been what I did even when I was a kid. I remember not sleeping at all when I accidentally broke one of my dad's cassette tapes because I wanted to see what was inside and I intended to put it back but I couldn't.

But this time was different. Garrett's not my dad nor someone I've known ever since, heck we only met each other less than 3 weeks ago. Why do I feel really guilty about what I'm doing?

I need to get some air. And some sense in me.

I sat up and went down the bunk quietly and carefully. The last thing I need is someone questioning me. I just want to be alone and sort all these stuff out.

I slipped out of the bus and it was freezing outside. Great. I'm allergic to extreme cold. My skin becomes red and itchy which makes me cranky and annoyed.

I was about to go back to the bus to get a sweatshirt but the door was locked. It was automatically locked and I didn't bring my phone. This idea was becoming brighter by the second.

I went to the back of the bus and saw a ladder. It seemed a pretty nice place to think so I climbed up to the top of the bus. I laid on the cold metal and just stared at the sky. It was fun to be up here, just looking at the stars and just having a break after a long day of singing and playing for a huge crowd. It was relaxing.

"So, do you plan to stay here all night?"

I sat up and looked at the person who interrupted me. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, it's also my bus so I can do what I want," Garrett said with a smile. He stood up. "I'd have to ask you the same thing, what are you doing here anyway?" He folded his arms and looked straight at me.

"Well," I began, "I just went out to get some air because I couldn't sleep but then the door automatically locked so I decided to go here."

He sat down beside me. "Oh. Do you plan on dying here, too? It's freezing out here. And you're wearing pajamas."

"Thanks again for stating the obvious." I paused for a few moments before looking at him. "But why are you here?"

"I woke up to the sound of a ladder creaking and I saw that you were gone so I went out to see what you were up to."

"Oh," I said. I noticed he was wearing black geeky glasses similar to mine. "So what, you're copying my style now?"

"Yeah, 'cause you're my idol!" he said sarcastically, complete with actions.

I smirked. "I knew it. You're jealous of me. And contrary to popular belief, I actually wear glasses because I need them to see."

He laughed. "I think I can't fit up here anymore. You're ego's too big."

"Good, then go back down." I laid my head on my hands.

"I don't want to. And I came to save you from freezing to death." He started to take off his sweatshirt. "Here."

I sat back up. "No, I'm fine. It's not that cold anyway so yeah. Don't worry." I gave the sweatshirt back.

He pouted, tilted his head slightly, narrowed his blue eyes and looked straight into mine. "I'm wearing 3 shirts. I think I don't need another one, while you on the other hand are on the verge of turning into ice." He threw the shirt at me. He ruffled his hair. "Go on, don't be stubborn." He smiled.

I hesitated at first but realized that if I didn't take it, I'd probably have rashes all over my body because of the cold. I took the sweatshirt and put it on. It smelled like soap and some boy perfume or something. "Fine. Thanks."

We sat in silence for a while, just looking at the sky. "Thanks, too," he said. "For the date you fixed."

"Oh that." That was the exact thing I wanted to avoid which is why I came up here. But tada! It followed me here. "No problem." I shrugged. I hugged my knees to my chest and looked forward.

"You know, I never thought she would be a low maintenance girl, the kind who's outgoing and nice."

"You have no idea." I mentally rolled my eyes.

"She's just, I don't know, perfect for me. We have the same taste in music, we like the same stuff, it's like we're soul mates or something. Like we were made for each other." He went on and on about how great Ashlyn was and all her great characteristics and all her knowledge about bands and the music he liked. I honestly don't care about Ashlyn because she's not who he thinks she is. I know the real Ashlyn.

"She's too good to be true," I said, because she really isn't true. It's all pretend.

"Yeah! It's like she knows how my mind works. We just get each other. " I nodded along to everything he was saying but guilt was poking me again. "You two are so much alike. I kind of think sometimes that it's you, not her who's speaking. It's weird, actually."

"Hmm," I said. You certainly have no idea. "So, are you like, exclusively dating now?" I said, writing quotation marks in the air.

"I don't know. We're just having fun, just enjoying each other," he answered. "But I think we have a great shot at being more than friends." He had a blank stare, like he was thinking of something.

"Well, I hope you do have fun," I said. I couldn't think of anything more to say because if I don't change the subject now, I'll probably get myself in trouble for saying the truth.

"So, how's the tour for you?" he asked. Finally, something worth talking about.

I smiled. "Well, it's still kind of surreal. I mean, I used to be just a normal student solving math equations, talking in front of class but now I'm playing music in front of a thousand people and being interviewed. It's a dream come true for me." I looked up at the stars and sighed. "I just wish my dad could see me play live," I muttered.

He looked at me. "Why? What happened?"

"Well, a year ago, he got into a car accident. He's been in a coma ever since."

"Oh, I'm sorry," he said gently. He put his hand on my shoulder.

"No, it's fine." I tried my best not to remember the whole thing because that was my way of coping with it. I just forget and think about it the least way possible especially since...never mind.

"Oh. I'm sure he's proud of you. And he'll get better soon." He smiled at me.

I smiled back. "Yeah, I hope he is." I fought back some tears.

"So, like what Ashlyn's dad always said, life is for living. So just live life to the fullest." He smiled then stood up. "I'll go back. Pat would probably freak out if we weren't there. He'd think I was kidnapped or something."

I fought back more tears because of what I just realized. "Sure. Yeah, go back," I stuttered.

Oh my God. Ashlyn's not only using the information I told her, she's using my life as her own. It wasn't her dad who said 'life is for living', she never even met her dad. My dad always said that line.

This whole thing is getting out of hand. What did I really get myself into?