When Did Your Heart Go Missing?

Rodney and I walked hand in hand down the hall. I thought of Frank. How he's always been there for me. How he was the only one that looked back to smile at me.

Rodney walked through a door that led into a staircase. He gestured for me to sit down. Before he got a chance to talk, however, I had a question.

"Why are you breaking up with me?" I asked him, looking straight into his eyes. Because truth be told, I liked him. He could be a jerk sometimes, yeah, but he risked his 'reputation' to be with me. And, yeah, he's not always a jerk.

"I never said I was breaking up with you," he whispered, kneeling on the floor and grabbing hold of my hands. "I just need a break from our relationship."

"What's the difference?" I said coldly.

"I feel bad. I don't trust you enough to make this work out. I need to think things over."

He doesn't trust me?

"What reason would you have not to trust me?" I asked. No one has ever not trusted me. At least not that I've heard of. I am a trusted girl.

"It's not you," Rodney the Jock said, sounding more and more fake by the second. "I just need to think."

"About what? I've never given you reason not to trust me." I was more angry then sad at this point. And Rodney.... He looked impatient.

"Just let it go, okay?" he said harshly.

"Let it go? You don't trust me and I don't know what I did to deserve that."

Boy, did Rodney look pissed.

"I don't trust you with Frank, okay?" Rodney practically hissed this. And I felt as if I had just been slapped in the face.

"He's my best friend, for God's sake," I said, losing my own patience in the process.

"How the fuck can I know what happens when you're alone with him?" Rodney was yelling now. And I think I got slapped in the face again. He stood up and so did I.

"Nothing ever hap-" But Rodney interrupted me.

"You've known each other forever, you can't tell me you don't have feelings for him," he hissed, leaning into me so much that I was pushed against the wall. "What girl is best friends with a guy, anyway?"

"Rodney, I-" But he interrupted me again.

"For all I know, you've been fucking him," he whispered harshly, his hot breath falling over my face almost stinging me. "I wouldn't be surprised if Frank was your boytoy. Most of your stupid friends are boys. I bet you've let them touch you." I gasped, horrified, as he made his point by bringing his hands up my shirt. His cheek was against mine as he hissed in my ear. "I see the way you and Frank look at each other. How can I fucking trust a girl like you, surrounded by guys whenever I'm not around? You probably only want their friendship to get a decent fuck and some cash to go along with it. You're just a stupid fucking whore and I regret ever wasting my time with you."

Rodney pushed me hard against the wall and I fell to the ground. I closed my eyes.

"Have a nice life," he hissed before leaving me alone in the staircase.

I sat there for a while, staring at the wall opposite me. I whimpered and resisted the urge to cry, just like at the end of all my other bad relationships. I'm a bad relationship magnet. And I couldn't stop the tears from escaping my eyes. No one has ever talked to me like that.

The bell rang. I decided to at least make an effort. That there was no point and Rodney is not worth it. Even though he hit me against the wall pretty damn hard. And then there are all the things he said.

Walking through the door, I saw all the highschoolers rushing out of the cafeteria or in through one of the many entrances. I caught sight of my friends but didn't want them to see me cry. They did, of course. We have radar for each other. We always know when something's wrong.

I stopped against some lockers and waited for them to catch up. When they did, they all crowded around me looking concerned. Except Remi, that bitch...

"What happened?" Gerard asked immediately.

"He broke up with you didn't he, that whore," Ray said this so coldly that it actually made me laugh.

"You want me to spit on him?" Kristal asked enthusiastically. "I have a class with him next, I wanna spit on him!"

"I'll spit on him, too," Bob added.

"You wanna talk?" This was from Frank. His voice was the most concerned and sympathetic among them all. It almost made me hate myself for having people that could possibly care so much about a screw up like me.

"I like the 'spit on him' idea," Mikey piped in.

"Yeah, I wanna talk," I told Frank after smiling at Mikey. The bell rang again. Most of my friends gave me encouraging looks before leaving to their next classes. I was left alone with Remi and Frank.

"I'll see you later," Frank said to Remi. She looked confused, maybe even offended. But he kissed her. And, dammit, did she get into it. It just made me feel angrier.

When they were done, Frank looked as if he felt guilty. Which, as selfish as this sounds, made me feel a little bit better. He grabbed hold of my hand as Remi walked away.

"So why did the ass hole break up with you?" he whispered to me as we went into the same staircase that Rodney plunged a hole in my confidence.

I sighed as Frank and I sat on the stairs. I looked at him, feeling terribly bad for saying it but having to say it anyway,

"He broke up with me because of you."