When Did Your Heart Go Missing?

Before my brain could react, Frank pulled away from me completely. He ran his fingers almost stressfully through his hair and let out a sigh.

"What are you talking about?" I asked him, my brain officially shutting down. He furrowed his eyebrows but avoided eye contact with me. He chewed nervously on his lip.

Why is he so nervous?

He said something to himself that sounded strangely like, I can't do this.

"Can't do what?" I asked, starting to get nervous myself as he continued to chew on his lip. He looked so damn worried. "What's wrong, Frank?"

"Nothing! Um, everything..."

He noticeably swallowed hard as he grabbed my hands in his, letting out another sigh. He stared down at our hands for a moment before looking up into my eyes with an expression that reflected so many emotions, I couldn't even read them.

Desperation, hopefulness, helplessness, anxiety and somehow...excitement?

"What's wrong is..." he said softly, "that I just don't know how to..."

He trailed off and looked away distractedly. My body and mind grew limp and weak and useless. I didn't understand what was going on.

He suddenly turned to me again.

"Layla...can you smile for me?" he asked randomly. I helplessly did and he grinned. "That's so beautiful. You're...unbelievable. I can't...I can't get the image of you out of my head..."

I froze. Frank sighed again.

"I hate to see you sad," he told me, our eyes completely locked to each other. "But I love to know I could turn it around and make that pretty face smile."

My cheeks burned. I didn't know where this was going. He went on.

"If I'm the slightest bit miserable...you make it all better. I'm just...so lucky to have you to talk to, to hold, to just look at... You make it so that I can't give up because I've got something to live for. I've got you."

He squeezed my hands slightly and took a step closer to me.

"I can't even explain how you make me feel," he went on, looking for an answer in my eyes. "When I'm not around you...everything sucks and I just need to see you so badly. I need you near me, I need you here, with me. And I can't stop thinking about you no matter how hard I try. But when I'm with you, I'm invincible. I just want to hold you. I just...I just want to kiss you. I'm just so lucky I ever met you.... I just want you.... I feel like I'm the happiest person in the world. You're such an amazing person. You're smart, you make me laugh, we can talk for hours about nothing... And you're so damn beautiful..."

My insides were churning with everything Frank had said. And he wasn't even done yet.

"I never thought someone would make me feel this way," he said, smiling down at our hands. "I never thought I'd tell anyone any of that."

He looked up at me. Every single word he'd spoken echoed in my head. I couldn't help but notice how I thought those same things about him...

"Layla?" he said softly. His eyes bore into mine. "Do you ever notice a double-meaning when I tell you I love you?"

Now I really couldn't react.

He pulled his hands away from mine and brought them to my neck, bringing my face forward and toward his. Our noses almost touched. I felt a strange weight almost lift off my shoulders as I resisted the urge to smile, or sigh.

"Layla, I love you," he said. "I...I love you, Layla. It's the only word that can possibly begin to describe how you make me feel. I am so in love with you."

I grabbed his wrists and forced his hands away from my neck. I replayed everything in my head. I helplessly realized how stupid I've been. I held onto Frank's wrists, looking down at his hands.

"And I know that if you feel the same..." he said softly, "that you feel just as desperate as I do."

Desperate. But for what? To hold him, to touch him, to kiss him...just to name a few.

But the point is that I knew what he meant. I knew exactly what he meant. I intertwined out fingers and looked up at him, pulling him close to me. His expression was blank as if he didn't know what to expect. I leaned forward and whispered,

"I love you, too."