You Know I'm Never Gonna Let You Go

Alex

I look over at Avery's sleeping figure.

Make it up to her? How the hell was I supposed to do that? I sigh and pull a hand through my hair, leaning my forehead against the cool glass of the window. I felt like smashing my skull into it with all the thoughts running through my head right now.

How come everything became so complicated? I met her, fell in love, and proposed. The marriage part is supposed to be easy. But everything just went downhill.

I understand why she doesn't trust me anymore, with how I treated her in the last year of our relationship. I was scared, scared by the thought of finally settling down and getting married. I was always out at bars, drinking away my problems, trying to keep my mind off of Avery, if at least for a little awhile. But look where that got me.

I had turned the radio on after figuring out that I wouldn't be able to sleep, and a song was playing softly from the album being on repeat. I turn it up, but not so loud that Avery would wake up, listening as the familiar words came in.

I would've married you in Vegas,
had you given me the chance to say, "I do."
Could you be anymore obvious, could you,
be anymore more obvious?

Listening to my own lyrics made me itching for a pen.

I open the dashboard on the passenger side quietly, looking back at where Avery had fallen asleep in the backseat. I dig around, finding a pencil. I grin in triumph, taking out an old gas receipt to pass as paper.

I think for a moment, ideas swirling in my head like a tornado. I write down a few words, scribbling one out to replace with another. I smile at my progress.

That went on for about an hour until sun began peeking into the car.

I hear a yawn from behind me, and I fold the receipt with the song up and shove it in my pocket. I look behind me to see Avery sitting up, stretching her arms over her head. "Morning," she murmurs, running a hand through her hair.

"Morning to you, too," I grin, reaching out to pull her toward me. But I realize what I'm doing and pull back, letting my hands fall limply to my sides.

"How'd you sleep?" she asks, climbing into the passenger seat beside me.

I shrug. "All right. This car seat isn't the most comfortable..."

She chuckles, fingering her pajama bottoms. I could tell by the look on her face that she was thinking about our conversation last night. I feel my mouth go into a thin line as her last request echoes throughout my head. A promise is not enough, Alex. I need you to prove it.

"Hey," I say, attempting to distract her, "I think there's a diner not to far up the road. Let's stop for breakfast and change there before getting back to driving, okay?"

She nods, relieved I had kept her mind off of last night. "Sure."

I smile and start up the car, pulling away from the pivot we had parked in to sleep. No cars came around us as we drove, trees and grass passing by us until we came into a small town. I find the 24-hour diner and pull into a parking spot, turning off the car.

We grab our change of clothes and stuff, letting the other change before walking inside. We sit in a booth as a girl in a poodle skirt rolls up her, a pencil tucked behind her ear.

She grins at me, barely acknowledging Avery. "Can I help you?"

I raise an eyebrow. "I'd just like some pancakes, please. And orange juice."

She writes it down, her eyes never leaving mine even as she wrote. Once she was finished her lips turn into a flirtatious smirk, but I couldn't help but notice the lipstick on her front tooth. "Anything else?"

I roll my eyes, pointing to Avery who was sitting across from me. "I think she would like to order as well," I say flatly, the waitress turning to glance at Avery.

"Oh," she says, her smile immediately dropping. "And you?"

Avery narrows her eyes, and I chuckle. "Waffles and eggs. Thanks."

The red-head-poodle-skirt-girl scribbles that down before sending me another wink, disappearing to another table. I sigh and lean back against the leather of the booth, feeling the affects of not sleeping. Damn insomnia.

"Well then," Avery snides, my eyes opening as she speaks. "She seemed quite infatuated with you. But you must get that all the time; you're Alex Gaskarth." She rolls her eyes.

I keep my smirk hidden. "Green is an ugly color, Avery."

"I'm not jealous."

"Could've fooled me," I say, my hand instinctively moving to the jacket pocket I had stuffed the song in. It gave me little courage. "And besides..." I look over at the waitress, my nose wrinkling, "she's not my type. Too...flamboyant."

"I thought no girl wasn't Alex Gaskarth's type," she shrugs, placing her arms on the table. "I thought anyone with a vagina was good enough for him."

"Why are you talking about me as if I'm not here?" I ask, chuckling softly. "And calm that little green monster, would you? It'll ruin your appetite." I grin and she just sticks her tongue out at me. That's when the waitress returned, our food in hand.

"Here ya go," she grins at me, glaring at Avery. "Enjoy."

On my napkin were seven digits printed in blue sharpie, the name Kim written neatly under it. Avery eyed me as I picked it up. I roll my eyes and turn around, seeing a mid-aged man in the booth behind us. "Here," I say, handing him the napkin. "Go crazy." He gives me a puzzled look but takes it.

I turn back around to my food, opening the butter and spreading it on my pancakes. I look up at see Avery still gazing at me, her expression blank. "What?" I ask, cocking my head to the side.

"Nothing," she shakes her head, the hint of a smile on her face.

But it wasn't nothing, as I felt her foot tuck against mine under the table, not moving as we ate. I couldn't help but grin as I poured syrup on my food, knowing I was at least a quarter of the way there to proving myself. My fingers curl around the song in my pocket, knowing that that would get me there all the way.