You Know I'm Never Gonna Let You Go

3 years later

I unlocked the door of my apartment. Dropping my bag and coat on a chair and I plopped down on the couch. I was completely exhausted. I had a job at a fashion magazine and recently I’d been working twice as hard to get promoted to editor. Unfortunately I wasn’t the only one trying to get the job and seeing I had to take a week off for my sister’s wedding work was the only thing on my mind lately.

You’re probably wondering why the hell I had to take a week off for the wedding. Well, I hate flying, simple as that. It’s not that I’m afraid of flying, I just have bad memories from the last time I was in a plane.

Suddenly my phone went off. Groaning I got up to get it from my bag, I checked the callers ID and saw it was Ashley, my sister’s and mine best friend and one of the bridesmaids . “Hey Ash. Sup?” “Hey Avery. I’m calling about the wedding. You’re driving there, right?” She asked sweetly. “Yes, why?” I was getting suspicious. “Well, my dumbass cousin, who is visiting me right now, needs to go to the wedding too. Turns out the idiot forgot to buy a plane ticket. We tried but everything is booked.” I sighed. “And now you’re wondering if I can take him?” “Please Ave, please. I owe you big time I know, but just imagine how your sister would react if she found out you left one of the guest stranded here.”

I shuttered. Caitlyn would freak if she found out I did that. “Fine! I’ll do it, but only because I don’t want my own sister killing me.” I finally agreed.

After a million thanks from Ashley she hung up and I packed the last few things for my trip tomorrow. I really wasn’t looking forward to this. I hadn’t talked to any one of my family or friends back home in almost three years. Not after I left and went to live with Ashley. I knew they blamed me, for everything. I know they all thought I shouldn’t have left, that I had to try to work things out with him, but what nobody realized is that I had tried, more than once actually. In the year prior to our break-up all I did was try to make it work. But of course, as always, I was the one who was wrong.

Even without talking to anyone I know what they would say. I should have tried harder. I should have understand how difficult it was for him. I should have been more patient with him. I should have done this , I should have done that…. That’s all they can think off, blaming me for everything.

I knew the chance I would see him again at my sister’s wedding was very realistic. Just like the fact that people would talk. I could already hear my mother’s voice. ”I still don’t understand why on earth you had to run off like that and break the poor boys heart. Are you really that cold? Don’t you care about his feelings Avery? Do you have any idea how much of a mess the poor kid was after he found out you weren’t coming back? I really though I taught better than that. I’m glad at least one of my girls is smart enough not to walk away from something so wonderful as love.”

Yep, they all thought I’d been scared, got cold feet. That that was the reason I left. None of them knew about what really happened between us. All everyone could see was the sweet and caring boy he pretended to be on the outside. Nobody had been able to see through that façade, except for me.

In the 12 months before I left I’d got to know the lying, cheating, mind-game playing dick he really is.

We met when we were only in middle school and became best friends. Once in high school he asked me out one day and I said yes. We dated for four years and he proposed three months after we graduated. I was only eighteen at the time, but I already knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. Oh how naïve I’d been.

We moved in together, renting an apartment close to the university I was attending at the time, seeing he was touring most of the time. It felt like a dream and I was seriously happy.

But as we all know dream only last for a night and it that one year we were living together and planning our wedding, he changed. All the touring and recording their new album put a lot of stress on him and even though he didn’t show it to the world it was getting the best of him.

The sweet, funny and caring guy I fell in love with change into a complete jerk. He was mean to me, yelling for no reason, picking fights over the smallest things. At first it only happened every once in a while, but the screaming and yelling became more often to the point that he was acting like that every single day.

Every day I locked myself in the bedroom, crying, sometimes even planning on leaving him for good, but he always stopped me. Tell me how sorry he was for taking his frustrations out on me and how he wouldn’t do it again. Of course I forgave him every time. I was so in love with him and I didn’t want to lose him, so I put up with his behaviour for almost a year.

Until that one night, exactly a week before our wedding. Alex got mad at me again of something so small I can’t even remember what it was. Instead of letting him yell at me I snapped. I started yelling too and we said things we didn’t mean. In the end it was Alex who stormed out.

The next morning was probably the worst day of my life. I hadn’t heard Alex come back that night so I’d assumed he’d spent the night at one of the guys, but apparently I’d been wrong.

I’ll never forget what I saw once I came downstairs. No matter how hard I tried the image of Alex sleeping on the couch, naked, with in his arms one of my best friends was impossible to get out of my mind.

I remember running back to the bedroom, hiding there until I heard her leave. I also remember pretending to be asleep when Alex came upstairs to check on me. I remember waiting until he left to go to the studio, like he did every day, and packing my things. After that, everything is a blur.

The next few hours I spend driving away from my hometown until I completely broke down. I called Ashley and told her what happened. She offered me to come live with her and I accepted. I drove to an airport and bought a ticket, not thinking twice about it.

When I stepped on that plane it wasn’t just Alex I was leaving behind, it was my whole life. I dropped out of college and took a job at a fashion magazine. I never saw or heard from him again. I also hadn’t sat a foot on a plane after that flight.

I put my bags in the back of my car and drove to Ashley house to pick up her cousin. I suddenly realized I had no idea who her cousin was. They weren’t that close and she’d never mentioned him before. She only told me he was staying with her because of some family stuff and he needed a place to stay.

I stopped in front of Ashley house and she opened the door. “Hey Avery.” She greeted me. “Thank you so much for doing this.” “You owe me.” I chuckled. “So where is your cousin?” “You mean that dumbass that forgot to buy his ticket to Baltimore?” She grinned. “He’s right here.”

She stepped aside and revealed the one person I hated more than anything in this world. The person that shattered my heart into a million pieces: Alex Gaskarth.