Speed Up Your Breathing

You Wouldn't Know Even If I Told You

There were only two days left to the tour. We were in California and I was getting crankier and crankier by the minute. I was a ticking time bomb and every boy on this tour was mortified to the idea of saying something that would make me loose it.

"Alex?" I heard William call as he got on the bus.

"Yeah, I'm right here Bill!" I yelled from the back lounge

"Can I hmm talk to you?"

"Yeah sure, what's going on?"

"Hmm ok I don't know how to put this but..." He pause a second and took a deep breath, "my sister called today,"

"Oh how lovely," I spat, dripping with sarcasm.

"Alex, please..."

"No, William! No! Given the cicurmstances, do you really expect me to rejoyce and jump around when I hear about your happy ever-so pregnant sister?" I nearly shouted at him.

"You're not being fair here."

"Fair!? I have met your sister, she seemed like a lovely girl, now I don't know what the hell Brendan told her, but given the scum bag he is I'm assuming it was mostly his fault for what happened and that she never meant to harm me. She was played by him the same way I was, only she seems to be getting the best of it," I let out as I started sobbing. "And honnestly, I'm not strong enough to hear about how happy they both are right now."

"I think you need to hear this though..." He getting closer to me.

"No!" I firmly said trying to turn my back to him as he grabbed me by the shoulders.

"Brendan proposed to Lydia..." As he tried to finished his sentence I raised my hand to slap him in the face, with tears filling my eyes, but he caught my hand just before it hit him. He looked at me straight in the eyes and added: "... but I had just told her all the horrible things he did to you, so she rejected him and broke up the same night."

To these words I started crying uncrotolably. At this point I'm not sure it was even about Brendan and Lydia anymore, there was just too much stuff going wrong, with a failed relationship, the tour ending soon, not knowing what I would do next and the fear of getting attached to people I shouldn't.

William just held me tight while trying to comfort me: "It's gonna be alright."

"No, it's not," I said choking on a sob. "As if my life wasn't a big enough mess, this tour ends in two days and I have no idea where to go or what to do."

"Come live in L.A., with me!"

What? "You're kidding, right?"

"No, I'm not! I bet you think this is all crazy but I'm serious!"

"I don't think it's crazy, William, I think it's amazing that you even think about offering this to me, but I can't... that's just not how it works...and I'm just not that easy," I said getting up and walking off the bus leaving William alone and his jaw still dropped to the floor.

***

Two days later, tour ended.

It was kinda sad to say goodbye to everyone, I had such a great time with all the boys, but from what I remembered, every tour I had been on was like that... Only saying goodbye to Bill was a bit harder than usual...it actually hurt despite the fact that the last two days had been horrible.

"So this is it eh?" William said as he and I were the only ones left on bus.

"I guess so," I said walking over to him for a hug.

"I'll miss you,"

"I'll miss you too," I said puling away only to stop halfway, his lips brushing against mine. "I really have to go," I wispered, still close to him.

He let me go and I walked off the bus, wipping a tear I got into a taxi. It took me to my friend Chris' place. He had agreed for me to stay with him until I could find a job here.

Yes. I was moving to L.A..

Only I told William I was going backhome to New Jersey...
♠ ♠ ♠
FINALLY an update!!
sorry it took forever!

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