Speed Up Your Breathing

It had been an awful long day at work. Chris had left early without giving any good reason, but he's the boss! I walk into the house, throw my keys in the little bowl next to the door, hang my purse and go to the living room; all I need right now is a glass of Jack and a good movie. Chris is already home and apparently ahead of me. He's sitting on the couch, beer in hand, with no other than Will next to him. They are both so deep into conversation that they barely notice I walked in. Finally, Will's eyes go up, then quickly back down as he elbows Chris and clears his throat.

"You're here! We've been waiting for you Alex!" Chris cheered, seeming a bit intoxicated already.

"Well, you know some people had work today, Chris! Besides, what is he doing here?" I asked pointing at Beckett who's eyes had not left the floor since I had come in.

"I just want to talk..." William said.

"...aaand I've got to go, something really important, I uh, will let you guys talk! See you both later!" Chris said getting up, and walking out the door before I could even beg him to stay.

"Make it quick and good Bill!" I said sitting on the couch facing him.

"Ok, listen, I know you were mad at me for hidding stuff about Brendan..."

"... and I forgave you, don't you remember that night we spent together?" I asked sharply.

"How could I forget, having you so close to me... everything was perfect and then we parted at the end of tour, you lied to me and apparently you slowly grew this intention of hurting me in every way possible." He said starring at me.

"I didn't want to leave you after the tour ended," I said trying to defend myself. "I wanted to stay with you..."

"...then how did you end up wanting to be so mean to me and have me go all the way to New Jersey to find you? Do you know any other guy who would fly across the country for you, and for you only?" His words making so much sense I was left with nothing to say.

"I don't, no. I was so hurt after Brendan, there was no way I could have started a new relationship right away, not even with you, but the fact Lydia was part of this unfairly made me want you to pay the cost of her happiness."

"You do realize that most of what you're saying doesn't make sense, right? I saw it in your eyes when you were with me, those things can't be faked." Why did he have to be right? "You said you were gonna miss when you left, so did you miss me?" He asked pulling my hands into his.

"I so did, I still do, we had such a great time together on tour, everything we did seemed so natural and everything you do makes me smile, you singing, songwriting, dancing, when you're doing interviews, when you're sleeping, playing guitar, brushing you teeth, I feel it, in my gut, those butterflies... and I hate myself for it, for not being able to wash it out of my mind and move on to something else." I said tears forming.

"Why do you have to be so angry with you feelings?"

"Because you don't like me, on that night I was just another girl, of course I'm a great friend but I'll never be more, Chris told me I was in love with you and I denied it because I never believed loved to be one sided, if you're not loved back then it's not love, it's merly a passion," I said starring at our hands.

He pulled one out and layed it on my cheek. "I think, from the definition you just gave, that you could consider all this as love..."

I looked into his eyes, and saw everything I had seen before. I had been mean to him for no reason but now he was here. He moved in closer to me, and I could have sworn I saw a smirk cross his lips the second before we kissed.