We're Not Perfect

The minute I entered the club, I heard my name being shouted by my new band. I’d have to talk to the guys about a name for ourselves, but that could wait for later. Right now, all that mattered was that they were sitting at the bar, and I needed a drink before going onstage.

“Where’d you disappear to last night?” Aaron asked. “We wanted to get to know you a little bit more.” The rest of the guys nodded in agreement.

“Sorry, I had to do something after the show,” I said. I nodded a thanks to the bartender who handed me my usual. “I’m free tonight though. For the most part, since my boyfriend would probably have a heart attack worrying about me if I didn’t get home before morning, and my brother would be close,” I said laughing.

The guys and I talked for a while longer before getting our things ready to go onstage. Nobody seemed to notice the few times I’d slipped a few pills out of my pocket and swallowed them down with my alcohol. I know you’re not supposed to mix the two, but you’re also not supposed to take as many meds as I do.

We took our places on the stage and we played a few songs before I decided it was time for a change. “You’ve heard the new addition to my performances playing their instruments, and you’ve heard Blake here with his backup vocals, but now, you get to hear him sing the lead,” I said to the audience. I’d managed to convince Blake to do this while we were talking earlier.

He and I switched places and we played a few more songs before our time was up. The crowd seemed to like Blake, but a few were calling for me to take the lead again. “Next time folks, Rylii will take the lead,” Blake said. “But for now, we’ve got to get off the stage before the next group kicks us off.” We ran off quickly and stored our things before finding a room in the back for us to hang out in.

Closing the door behind us, Jason pulled something out of his pocket. I seemed to be the only one that didn’t know what it was. That was, until Jason came closer and I could see the contents of the bag. I recognized it instantly as weed. Sam pulled out a few papers and his lighter and got to work.

Jason looked at me for minute before asking me if I was joining them. I nodded. “Not on a regular basis, but when something’s bothering me.”

“Want to talk about it?” Aaron asked. I shook my head. It wasn’t long before all of us were high. We were laughing at everything and nothing. Someone had left an unopened bottle of Jack in the room and we passed it around until it too was gone. Blake made a trip to the bar to restock us, and it was close to time for the club to close before we stumbled out the door. I waved to the guys as they got in their cars and drove off before turning to make my way home. This was the closest I’d actually been to full out drunk in a long time, and combined with the drugs, I was feeling great.

Max was asleep on the couch when I got in, and I was afraid to get too close to him, afraid the smells stuck to my clothes would wake him. I made it to my room without too much noise and stripped before jumping in the shower. I left my pile of clothes where I had dropped them and slipped on some clean clothes before climbing into bed.

I woke up to someone shaking me and yelling my name. Craig. He wasn’t yelling, but it seemed like it. And the light was killing me. I’d forgotten how much hangovers suck. Covering my eyes with my arm I whispered to Craig, “Stop shaking me unless you want me to throw up on you.”

I felt the beg shift as he jumped up and backed away from me. “Sorry. But get up, you have some explaining to do,” he said before leaving me alone in my room. I dragged myself to the bathroom and took a cold shower. I found the band sitting in the kitchen when I finished. Everyone avoided my eyes. I sat down slowly, wondering what was going on.

“Mom called last night,” Craig said finally.

“Ok?” I said confused. Why would she care if I was home or not? She didn’t care when I lived with her, so why now?

“When I told her you had gone out, she told me that if you didn’t come home, I should check the local jails to see if you’d been picked up for drugs again. I tried calling you last night, but you never picked up. Then I get up this morning to find out that Max fell asleep on the couch waiting for you. What’s worse is that when I went in your room to see if you were there, it smelled like booze and weed.”

Craig sat there, staring at me, waiting for an explanation. Nobody else looked up from the table, but Max took my hand, lacing our fingers together tightly. I sighed before beginning; I knew this wasn’t going to be a fun day. “I was at a club all night. There are always people drinking and doing drugs, and I was around some doing weed last night, so it’s no surprise the scent stuck to my clothes.”

“Nice try. But the smell wouldn’t be as strong as it is unless you’d done some,” Craig replied.

“So what if I did? I can promise you I’m not going to get hooked again.” Everyone’s heads snapped up.

“What the hell do you mean ‘again’?” Craig asked, trying not to shout. “Is that what Mom meant about you getting arrested for drugs?”

Max’s hand gripped mine tightly, and I could see his wide eyes watching me. “I told you that I was in with the wrong people before. One thing led to another, and I was a drug addict. That’s why Mom really sent me here to live with you though. She was sick of bailing me out of jail.” I didn’t think it was possible, but everyone’s eyes grew wider.

“Great. Now we have two ex-drug addicts living in this house,” Craig said before walking out of the room.

I looked between the tree remaining men. Who was the other? “I should have told you before,” I heard Max whisper. I turned to face him, but he was looking at the table again.

“We’re gonna leave you two alone to talk,” Monte said, getting up and leaving, quickly followed by Robert.

“Max, what are you talking about?” I asked softly.

“Do you remember yesterday, when Craig said that I should be able to help you because of my addiction?” I nodded slowly, remembering that. I hadn’t thought about it much before. “I had a problem with drugs and alcohol awhile back, but I got clean. There were times I was tempted to go back to that life, but I couldn’t do it again. I was happier than I was.” I stayed silent, not sure what to say. Now I felt terrible for what I’d done. “Please don’t be mad at me,” Max whispered.

I shifted so I could sit in Max’s lap. He looked up at me surprised. “I’m not mad at you,” I said, wrapping my arms around his neck. “I wish you had been the one to bring it up, but I’m glad I know now.”

Max pulled back slightly and looked at me. “I was afraid you wouldn’t want to be with me if you knew,” he said.

I smiled, shaking my head at him. “Why would you think that?” I asked. “You knew my secret, and you’ve managed to break my habit. If anything, your time with drugs taught you to hold the one’s you care for close.” I stopped, thinking of the people I’d known who were now dead because they’d overdosed. But that never stopped me. I knew I’d be joining them in death eventually.

“I’m sorry,” Max said again.

“Don’t be. We’ve all messed up in the past. We can’t change that, but we can change the future.”

“Agreed,” Max said, finally smiling as he pulled me in close and kissed me softly.