We're Not Perfect

Everything hurt. I could feel every cut healing, every broken bone, everything. It had months since I’d felt anything. I’d used drug and alcohol to numb myself, but none of that was allowed in the hospital. The doctors gave me the smallest dose of painkillers possible, and it did next to nothing. They were afraid to give me anything stronger, so I didn’t see the point. I’d now been stuck laying in this hospital bed for almost a week, but I was getting out tomorrow. Unfortunately, I wasn’t going home. I wouldn’t be home for at least six months. I’d have to go six months without seeing my brother, Max, the rest of their band, or my band on a daily basis. I’d get weekly visits if I was lucky. You could say I wasn’t completely happy with the idea of going to rehab. But at least things were looking up slightly.

Max and I were back together, Craig knew about everything and was willing to do anything he could to help me. Sam and Aaron had been sent to jail though. They were doing 30 days for drug possession and battery, but their time was shorter than it had originally been because they’d been beating up Tony and one of his friends when they were arrested. I was supposed to have been sent to jail when I got out of jail too, but Craig’s lawyer made a deal so I wouldn’t have to go. All I had to do was give a statement explaining everything that had gone down between Tony and I. And believe me, that was a long statement. I told everything, from the abuse to sleeping with him for drugs, to when he’d forced me to sleep with his friends. It had taken several hours, but I told the cops everything. Tony was already in custody, but his friends were quickly picked up as well.

The door opening broke me out of my thoughts. Max and Craig came in, both quickly pulling into a hug. The three of us talked for a little while before Craig went to check me out. Max helped me get dressed before leading me out to the front where Craig was flirting with the nurse. However, she didn’t seem too interested. Pulling him away, we found the car, where Max climbed in the back with me.

The drive to the rehab center went by too quickly, and before I knew it, we were standing in front of the doors. The guys weren’t afraid to go in, so they got my bags out of the trunk for me. We exchanged our goodbyes before I entered. Max and Craig stood watching me. When I glanced back at them for the last time, I saw Max crying softly.

After telling the receptionist my name, I was led to a small room which was to be my own for the next few months. Everything was white, my least favorite color. But at least I was allowed to wear my own clothes here. The receptionist, who hadn’t bothered telling me her name, told me someone would be by to show me around later.

I was unpacking my clothes when I found the envelope. Inside was a letter from Max.

Rylii,

I’m so sorry for everything. I didn’t mean to hurt you, but I had no other choice. Craig threatened to move the two of you away if I didn’t stay away from you, and I couldn’t let that happen. I stayed away from you so you wouldn’t leave. I never stopped loving you, and all I wanted was to protect you. But I failed at that. I should have seen what was going on and done something about it.

This is a horrible letter, I know, but it’s the best I can do. You know I’ve never been the best one with words, but at least I tried, right? All I want right now is to have you home, where I can just see you, hear your voice, have you in my arms once again.

I cried when I saw you laying there in the hospital. I cried when I heard the story of all that had happened to you. I cried when I heard that you had to spend six months in rehab. I couldn’t do anything about that, but I did manage to find somewhere you could wear your own clothes, so I hope that makes things a little more bearable. I’ll visit you every chance I get.

Now that I’m crying again, I’m going to end this letter so I can get it in your suitcase before we head out to check you out of the hospital. I love you Rylii, and I can’t wait for the day you can come home.

--Max

P.S. Don’t feel like any of this is your fault. We’ve all done things in our life that we regret, but life does go on and things do get better. Just remember, we’re not perfect.