Open Your Eyes

Following breakfast with Zacky and Lisa, Erin found herself sitting anxiously in a bright modern style office. Upon finding the building just off the Pacific Coast Highway, she had been slightly intimidated by the lavish outside appearance and the feeling only heightened as she stepped inside. The floor to ceiling windows let it every ounce of light the California sun had to offer inside, making the lightly painted walls even brighter.

She had been ushered through a large set of cubicles by a young male working the front desk. They turned a corner and Erin was told to wait in the small seating area, located in the center of all the private offices. She wandered for a few moments then picked up a binder that was placed on a end table near by and leisurely flipped through it. As each page passed by she was slowly becoming aware that the book consisted of some of the work that had been done by several of the head designers at the firm.

“No pressure at all.” She mumbled to herself. She felt a sense of anxiety swell in her stomach as she was reminded that compared to everyone else, she essentially had zero training in the actual field of interior design. She hadn't attended expensive schools or had years of experience under her belt, she was basically going in blind and hoping for the best.

She continued to frown at the pictures until the sound of high heels clicking against imported tile headed her way. She glanced up from the book on her lap to see a petite woman with rich, dark brown hair that was wrapped up into a sleek bun and her bangs swept across her forehead. She was dressed very professionally in black dress pants with a dark fuchsia button up top, her black suit jacket was draped over her arm and on her other was a large black purse.

She smiled widely seeing Erin, she hurried over sticking her hand out. “Jenna Berry, you must be Erin.” The woman's voice was even more high pitched than it seemed on the message machine, Erin wasn't sure if that was just for work or if that was really her voice.

Erin stood up shaking Jenna's hand gently. “That's me.” Erin smiled back, not even coming close to Jenna's perkiness.

“Come into my office.” Jenna nodded her head towards the office that had all but one glass wall, Jenna motioned to the comfortable looking chair that sat in front of her desk. Erin sat herself down, waiting for Jenna to get herself organized.

“So,” Jenna began, rolling her chair underneath herself and sat down. “How's California treating you?” Jenna's eyebrows perked up at the question before she took out the photos and letter that she had received of Erin's work.

Erin smiled politely. “Good, it's not my first time here actually.”

“Yeah, Jimmy mentioned that in his letter.” Erin watched as Jenna's perky personality seemed to fade at the mention of the late Jimmy Sullivan.

“I don't want to sound nosy,” Erin began, shifting in her chair. “but how did you know Jimmy?” The blonde warily peered over at the brunette, hoping she didn't find the question too intrusive.

Jenna smiled, brushing her bangs out of her eyes. “Jimmy and I went to high school together. I was a bit of goody two shoes back then, two years younger than them but I was two grades ahead of where I should've been. I was kind of an outcast with being the only sixteen year old in the senior class.” Jenna paused briefly remembering back to the day when Jimmy had first spoken to her.

She had been late getting in from lunch and had to make a trip to her locker for some books that were necessary for her next two classes. The bell had already rung so the halls were empty and of course her locker had chosen then to be stubborn. She had never been late for class before and wasn't about to start then, and over a stupid locker no less.

“You know those things usually open easier if you don't beat them to a pulp.” Jenna jumped slightly at the voice interrupting her, she turned around to see a tall skinny boy with crazy hair, black rimmed glasses and a black 'Metallica' t-shirt. Jenna stood there silently for a few seconds staring before he spoke again. “Do you want some help?” He asked walking closer.

Jenna nodded her head, smiling slightly. Boys barely ever spoke to her, so one offering his assistance was a very new occurrence that she wasn't quite used to. She stepped out of the way as Jimmy fiddled with the locker briefly and then opened it like it was no problem. He flashed her a bright friendly smile.

“Thank you.” She said trading the books she had in her bag for the ones sitting neatly on the shelf in her locker. She glanced out of the corner of her eye noticing that Jimmy was still there. “Don't you have class to get to?”

“I'm skipping, you?” He quirked an eyebrow at her.

“I'm late for calculus.” She answered, shutting her locker and held the textbook to her chest tightly. She wanted to move and make it to calculus before Ms. Anderson did attendance but the boy in front of her was too fascinating. “Thank you again for helping me.” She flashed him a kind smile before tearing herself away and began walking in the direction of her class.

Instead of heading outside to the back of the school where Matt and Brian were waiting on him, Jimmy walked along side of Jenna.

“You're the sixteen year old right?” He asked, glancing down at her. He had heard about her from other kids, mainly the girls who just made fun of her cause she wasn't as social, or fashionable as the rest of them. Jimmy didn't care that she didn't have a lot of friends, neither did he. He didn't care that she was currently wearing hand me downs from her older sister who had graduated two years prior, he wore ridiculous things that even Matt and Brian were questionable about.

Jenna nodded meekly, she knew the kinds of things that were said about her, most of the time the girls didn't even have the decency to say them to her face. She'd much rather have them say it to her personally than having them spread things around school.

“I'm sixteen, yes. I'm Jenna.” She answered as they turned a corner in the hallway, she could see the door of her calculus classroom.

“Jimmy.” He told her, as he too, noticed the classroom at the end of the hallway.

“Sullivan?” Jenna clarified, with a fearful look in her eye. She had heard stories about a Jimmy Sullivan from various people, mainly through eavesdropping other students at school or from her parents at dinner. Most of what she had heard about him had been how he liked to talk back in class, steal from the cafeteria, get into fights with other boys and when he was feeling especially rebellious, sell illegal substances. The image she had created in her mind of what he looked like didn't match that of the boy standing in front of her.

“That's me.” He chuckled as they were now only a few feet away from her classroom. Jimmy's hands casually slid into his pockets, looking down at the much smaller girl. “Hey, I know you don't have many friends but me and a few guys started a band and we have a small gig tomorrow night. You wanna come?”

Jenna wasn't sure what exactly to say, she had just met this boy, and he was already asking her to hang out with him. She was sure he had been in some of her classes before but she probably just never noticed him, however now that she knew he noticed her, it made her feel bad. She was always too caught up in school work to really pay attention to anything other than the worksheet or textbook that was in front of her.

“Yeah, sure Jimmy. I'd love to.” She didn't even know what kind of music they played but the fact that he took time out of his day to help her out then offer to spend time with her was all that mattered at the moment. She chose to ignore the endless amount of stories that were whispered about him, she had heard many about herself that weren't true so who was she to judge?

“From then on I went to every gig.” Jenna smiled remembering her teenage days filled with late nights, friends and good music. “Jimmy was the sweetest guy,” Erin noticed the sparkle in Jenna's eyes as she spoke about him, which made Erin wonder if there was something more than just friendship between the two. However, she knew that now wasn't the time to ask.

“Still to this day, I've never met anyone like him.” A sad smile stretched across the brunette's rosy pink lips.

Erin chuckled softly. “He was certainly a character that's for sure.” Jenna joined in until their laughter eventually died down and they got down to business.

“So you'll be shadowing me for the next few months and I know you said you were in the midst of attending classes for your certificate so you'll be able to finish that at the Interior Design Institute, all paid for by the firm of course.” Jenna flashed a white smile as Erin graciously thanked her all the while feeling slightly overwhelmed at the opportunities she was being given.

However, the gratuity didn't stop there as Jenna flashed Erin a curious look before posing a question. “Where are you staying in the meantime?”

Erin's eyebrows raised in response, not sure why her new boss was asking about her place of residence. “I'm staying with my best friend and her fiance in Huntington Beach.” Erin answered as Jenna's mouth curved into a knowing smile.

“You're in for a surprise." Jenna squeaked enthusiastically but quickly calmed herself. "But first I'll give you a tour of the firm.” The brunette then directed Erin out of her office and showed her what was behind each and every one of the doors. Some where offices, some were design rooms and others were just closets. Jenna showed her around until they were once again standing in the waiting area.

It turned out that Jenna had somehow worked out a deal with the firm to put up Erin's housing costs and had managed to score her a small two-story town home in downtown Huntington. Located only two blocks from the beach and three blocks from Main St.

Jenna let her go for the day after she handed Erin the keys to the town home but warned her that the upcoming week would be extremely busy in terms of getting her into the mix of the office. Erin thanked Jenna multiple times before she found herself back on the Pacific Coast Highway cruising excitedly to Huntington Beach with a permanent smile on her face.

When she reached her humble abode, she took her time to walk through the beautifully decorated two bedroom, one bathroom home that would be hers. The kitchen was a modern country style while the adjoining dining room was a light pink color, giving it quite a feminine feel. The foyer was large and open with a grand, winding staircase. There was even a second bedroom for Jon when he decided to come down for the weekend and she just about fainted at the lavish master bedroom that would be hers.

Erin shook her head as a smile broke out across her lips, she was completely overwhelmed with everything happening but immensely grateful. Tears began to form as she thought of who had been the reason she was even given the amazing opportunity.

Erin ventured out onto the small Juliet style balcony that was just off her bedroom. A warmth of sunlight washed over her and the wind blew lightly. She closed her eyes as she tilted her head back and reopened her eyes slowly, staring up at the blue sky. “Thank you.” She whispered softly to herself. She hoped wherever he was, that Jimmy could hear her.

- - - - - - - - - -

“Gates! You home?” Jimmy's voice echoed as he stepped into his friend's home. His question had been rhetorical, he knew Brian was home, they had just arrived home from tour less than forty eight hours ago. He knew Brian long to enough to know that he'd be catching up on his sleep, however, Jimmy had other plans.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw a white ball of fur bounce down the stairs. Soon enough Pinkly was situated at his feet, his big brown eyes staring up at the drummer. Jimmy smiled as he saw Brian trail slowly behind the lively animal, looking like he just rolled out of bed. By the look of Brian's messy head of dark hair, that was probably true.

“Dude, I know we're like best friends and all...” Brian began as he rubbed sleep from his brown eyes. “but we literally just fuckin' saw each other last night.” He mumbled in an annoyed tone.

After returning home from their European tour the night before, Brian had been looking forward to spending his first day off doing absolutely nothing. Jimmy, however, threatened to disrupt his plans with the exciting news he had to share. Even though Brian looked to be none too pleased, Jimmy ignored the frustration on his friends face and continued smiling happily.

“Are you hungover again?” Jimmy questioned with a weary look. It hadn't been a secret that Brian had been slamming back alcohol more than usual during the tour, the guys had chalked it up to him still healing from his split with the blonde waitress from Nevada.

Brian shook his head slowly. “No, just trying to catch up on my sleep. Checking up on me now?” Brian joked with a faint smirk on his lips.

“No dude, you're coming with me. Leana's waiting in the car.” Jimmy nodded enthusiastically with a child like grin on his face.

Brian held his hands up as if telling Jimmy to slow down. “Whoa, coming with you where?” He clarified. If he were to be dragged away from his relaxing day off, he wanted to make sure it was worth it. He had spent the past two months cooped up on either a tour bus or airplane, all the while in close quarters with his band mates. While they were truly his best friends and wouldn't trade them for the world, he needed a break every now and then.

“We're eloping.” Jimmy beamed, the happiness in his voice didn't go unnoticed by Brian. “And naturally, you're my best man.” He clapped a friendly hand on Brian's shoulder. “Just don't tell the other guys.” Jimmy finished with a nervous laugh.

“That's great, I'm happy for you.” Brian pulled Jimmy into a hug. He had been informed of Jimmy and Leana's engagement a few hours after it happened, and had then been subjected to listening to them celebrate while driving to their next destination.

As he pulled away, Brian glanced down at himself, clad in a pair of sweat pants and wife beater. “I guess I'll go shower then, think Leana will mind waiting?”

“No, I'm sure she'll be happier with a wedding party that doesn't smell like ass.” Jimmy quipped, making himself comfortable on the couch as he pulled out his cellphone to text his wife-to-be to come inside.

“Fuck you.” Brian yelled as he trudged up the stairs.

“Hurry up though, I wanna get on the road. The sooner we get there the better. I fuckin' hate driving to Vegas.” Jimmy grumbled staring down at the screen of his phone, absentmindedly letting the location of the elopement loose.

Brian froze mid step, glancing over to the drummer with a weary look in his eyes. “Vegas?” He asked, his eyebrows raising slightly. Sin City used to be a place that whenever it was brought up in conversation, he would think of all the wild and crazy nights they had spent partying. Now, however, even after almost three months with no contact with her, he couldn't help but think of it as the city that held the woman he was still in love with.

Jimmy's face twisted, as if struggling to save himself from getting caught. “Yeah, elopement capital of the world my friend.”

Brian felt like something was up. He leaned his forearms against the railing of the stairwell, making direct eye contact with Jimmy. “Who's all invited, Jim?”

“Me, you, Leana...” Jimmy trailed off counting all the attendees with his fingers. “...andgoldilocksmightbetheretoo.” He mumbled the last part so fast it came out jumbled and incoherent. Brian narrowed his eyes at Jimmy as he struggled to make sense of what his friend was trying to say.

“Wanna repeat that for me? I didn't catch the last part.” Brian casually spoke but frowned slightly as he crossed his tattooed arms over his chest. He had a strong feeling something was up, Jimmy had the nervous look in his eye that only occurred when he had a plan brewing.

Jimmy inhaled a defeated breath, slowly exhaling as Brian's intense stare bore into him. “I said Goldilocks will be there.” He revealed, watching his friend's hardened features soften at the mention of the blonde who had removed herself from Brian's life upon her own accord.

Brian nodded slowly, his jaw slightly clenched as he digested the news. “Go without me.” He said watching Jimmy open his mouth to object but Brian interrupted before he got the chance. “Seriously Jim, the thought is nice but it's almost been three fucking months. She doesn't want to see me. I got the message loud and clear.”

Jimmy sighed and rolled his eyes at Brian's stubbornness. “Maybe the excitement of the wedding will make it easier for you two to talk. It's not like you guys are attending a fucking funeral.”

“Just go without me man, it'll be better that way.”

Brian's knuckles turned white as his hands tightly gripped the steering wheel of his Escalade. He hadn't known then that, that would be the last time Jimmy would burst into his home uninvited and spring something of that nature on him. Only now with his friend being gone did he regret letting his own personal feelings regarding Erin, influence his decision to attend the small wedding of two of his friends.

Jimmy had taken his declined invitation better than expected, and hadn't held it against him. Even so, Brian knew deep down that Jimmy had been disappointed that Brian wouldn't be there to stand next to him. It killed Brian everyday that he hadn't sucked it up long enough to shove the feelings he held inside for the blonde, to the back of his mind, if only to make his long time friend happy.

Brian turned the key of the ignition, killing the engine and left him sitting in an eery silence. He inhaled a jagged breath as he stared at the cast iron gates of the cemetery. He swallowed the lump forming in his throat. Brian hadn't set foot inside the resting place of his late friend since the day he had been laid to rest. Everytime he tried, and he had tried several times, he froze up and his body was physically incapable of stepping through the gated grounds.

Without warning, a quick but loud ring startled him. Brian looked over to his cellphone before he took it in his hand to read the text message the loud burst of sound had signaled he had received. His brows furrowed as he read the text from Zacky asking where he was and when he'd be ready to sit down and talk like an adult.

Brian rolled his eyes and tossed the phone onto the passenger seat, choosing to ignore it for now. He wasn't in the mood to talk, and to him there wasn't anything to talk about. He wasn't ready to go back to the studio and pretend like there wasn't a large piece of the puzzle missing. Each time he thought of all that he'd lost in the past six and a half months, a paralyzing pain shot through his chest.

With a heavy sigh Brian leaned his head against the back of his seat. He closed his eyes briefly as he wished away the pain but he knew it was of no use. He had heavily relied on relieving his loneliness with casual sex, something that wasn't exactly foreign to him. Along with a few other bad habits, alcohol had become a constant in dulling his pain, it didn't make it disappear but it helped make it the tiniest bit more tolerable.

He yearned for the liquid courage and soberly thought about stopping by the liquor store on the way home to grab something. Brian slowly opened his eyes and they immediately latched onto the small orange cylindrical bottle with a white lid resting on the passenger seat next to his cellphone.

Without hesitation, he reached for the bottle and hastily opened it before letting two small white pills fall into his palm. He promptly popped them into his mouth before securing the pill bottle shut and tossed it back where he had found it.

Brian then grabbed the almost empty water bottle from his backseat, and emptied what was left in his mouth to help wash down the bitter pills slowly disintegrating on his tongue. As the water washed away the bitterness, Brian leaned his head back against the headrest once again and let the pills ease the agonizing pain within his tired body.