Shut Up
I know I'm not forgiven, but I need a place to sleep
The earth dies underneath the boots of the uncaring, the masses that take and never give back.
Eyelids fall over eyes that die observing.
But they'd die after everything else does.
I haven't eaten since...
The earth is malnourished while my stomach pains signal displeasure; wouldn't it be wrong to complain when there's something that suffers more than me and alongside me?
"Hey, Mattie-man"
And the eyelids raise at the over-excited call, lips spreading in a humble smile and eyes shining at the pain of having another but the soil to suffer with them.
"Man, I told you I'd find gold in the river", says the happy teenager as he plops next me, on the cardboard that's not as cold as everything else is. And his nudge hurts more than it should have."We're rich man!"
And he pulls out a chocolate. I smile defeated.
A loaf of bread would have been so much better.
"It's expired, of course", he says, pulling the bar away from my eyes and smiling with mischief."So if you don't want any, it's totally understandable"
I half laugh and then rise my glare to the sky, the color that reminds me of Grey.
"I don't want any"
I can feel his disbelief, bubbling like a boiler beside me and he nudges me again. And again, it hurts too much.
"You know I was joking, right? You can have half"
I smile."But I don't want any, Bobby"
.
.
.
"If you're trying to die again, I swear, I'll shove it down your throat before I let you"
I laugh."That's so sweet, Bobby. Kind of like the chocolate"
"Now, seriously, what's the matter? The wrong flavor?"
"No.I'm just...hungry. Eating a bit of chocolate will only make me hungrier"
And he falls back with a thud of acceptance.
"I didn't find anything else"
"I know"
"Maybe if we ask-"
"They won't give us anything. People are cruel"
"We can juggle for money. I don't exactly know the technique, but..."
And I smile resigned.
I could sing...
But that's a life I don't want to go back to...
"I'm going to sleep"
My digits pull the hard carboard over my worn leather jacket, the motion mechanichal, done too many times not to be.
"I thought you were hungry. Can you sleep?"
And a mumble parts me from the uncaring world I detest.
"It's the best way to deal with it"
Eyelids fall over eyes that die observing.
But they'd die after everything else does.
I haven't eaten since...
The earth is malnourished while my stomach pains signal displeasure; wouldn't it be wrong to complain when there's something that suffers more than me and alongside me?
"Hey, Mattie-man"
And the eyelids raise at the over-excited call, lips spreading in a humble smile and eyes shining at the pain of having another but the soil to suffer with them.
"Man, I told you I'd find gold in the river", says the happy teenager as he plops next me, on the cardboard that's not as cold as everything else is. And his nudge hurts more than it should have."We're rich man!"
And he pulls out a chocolate. I smile defeated.
A loaf of bread would have been so much better.
"It's expired, of course", he says, pulling the bar away from my eyes and smiling with mischief."So if you don't want any, it's totally understandable"
I half laugh and then rise my glare to the sky, the color that reminds me of Grey.
"I don't want any"
I can feel his disbelief, bubbling like a boiler beside me and he nudges me again. And again, it hurts too much.
"You know I was joking, right? You can have half"
I smile."But I don't want any, Bobby"
.
.
.
"If you're trying to die again, I swear, I'll shove it down your throat before I let you"
I laugh."That's so sweet, Bobby. Kind of like the chocolate"
"Now, seriously, what's the matter? The wrong flavor?"
"No.I'm just...hungry. Eating a bit of chocolate will only make me hungrier"
And he falls back with a thud of acceptance.
"I didn't find anything else"
"I know"
"Maybe if we ask-"
"They won't give us anything. People are cruel"
"We can juggle for money. I don't exactly know the technique, but..."
And I smile resigned.
I could sing...
But that's a life I don't want to go back to...
"I'm going to sleep"
My digits pull the hard carboard over my worn leather jacket, the motion mechanichal, done too many times not to be.
"I thought you were hungry. Can you sleep?"
And a mumble parts me from the uncaring world I detest.
"It's the best way to deal with it"