Shut Up

I don't know how to exist in a world with so much light.
So I close my eyes.
And the world that I know how to survive meets me unturned.
Somber and decomposing...

Beside me, a breath that refuses to fade, arms draped along my pelvic bone and resting until I rest no more.
A soul that flickers as I grow less and less luminous.

I wonder...did it start to fade ten years ago, when I began to turn black at seams?

And still you refuse to let me go...like how you did nine years ago,soaking in a blood related to you.
My lips part for small curses to lift into the air that's as deaf as it is mute; no ears to hear me, no mouth to respond, no heart to understand...
And that's why those curses should wake you up,Em, because your ears can hear them, your lips can respond and your heart can understand.
But they don't...

The eyelids raise, but the light doesn't brighten my eyes that are so tired of light. It comes in waves from the window that's white despite the glass being dirty, and my head hurts at the white it doesn't understand.
In a world so black at core, how can there still be white...?

But it finds something it doesn't understand even more, a silhouette of something whiter than the light, flickering like a signal for the dead to head towards it.
And my eyelids fall like trains against trains.
Agony, clashing of metal against metal inside my skull, bullets eating at the sea of black, pain, pain and PAIN.

My lips part and the curses raise in intensity, wake the ears that hear, the lips that scream for help and the heart that...

...still doesn't understand...