Black Heart

I got home, surprised to see my dad already there. He was never usually back from work before I arrived, as he had long, varying hours. He saw me walk into the kitchen, and smiled.
"Hey, sweet pea. How's school today?"
"Heyya daddy," I smiled back at him. It soon turned off. He always asked how school was, and he always got the same answer, pretty much. Fine, yeah it was ok. Today-
"It was interesting." I didn't desire telling him about Ryan, so I just said that. Hoped he'd leave it there.
He was kneeling down, head in cupboard, but when he heard me say something different for the first time in, in... a long time, he popped his head up. He smacked his head on the way up, and swore quietly, under his breath, doing a little dance of pain. I had to cover my mouth to stop laughing, and when he saw it, he started laughing.
"Don't laugh! That bloody hurt" He said, head in both hands. I could just see him grinning though.
"Oh yes, I was about to say. What happened today then?"
"Oh...uh, I got my highest grade yet on my...french papers." I tried to sound excited.
"Thats great hunny." My dad came over and gave me a hug.
"Yeah," I muttered. I hated lying to him, he was always completely honest with me and Jordan, my little brother. Oh, well, what he didn't know wouldn't kill him.
"Is Jord home?" I asked.
"No, he's with Luke and Reggie, I think." There was a sadness in the way he said it, I could tell. Poor dad, I know he misses him. We hardly see him anymore, not since he turned into a teenager, going the wrong way about it and getting himself into all kinds of trouble with the police. All dad wanted was his son back, it was all he'd ever wanted, to connect with him again after mum died. He was just 5, but it effected him badly, worse than me. He started hanging around with all the wrong kids on the block, and now dad gets a lot of visits from the police. He stopped trying with Jord after a while, realising he was no longer in control of what he did.

I reached to squeeze his hand, reasuringly, Then ran up the stairs to my room. I had kept my mind off certain things, certain things called Ryan, but now it was nagging me all over again. It was like I had to remember something, find something out, put the last puzzle piece into place to get the whole darn thing out of my head. How ever many times I tried, there was a brick wall blocking me out.
I fell on my bed, arms and feet spread out. Staring up at the ceiling, I knew I was tired. But I didn't want to go to sleep. I never did. All my life, bed time was the most dreaded part of the day. You might wander why. Hell, I did. See, nearly every night, I had the very same dream. Maybe sometimes it was changed a little, but it always ended up plotted out the same... all the time... I now felt my eyes go droopy and couldn't resist any longer. I dozed off looking into the nothingness beyond the back of my eyelids.

I am lying on a cloud. Yes, a cloud. I'm sure that's what it is, because it is impossibly soft and all I can see above is blue. A blue strech of sky. I wait. I know not what for, I just wait. Hours, minutes, maybe even days, but I always wait. I always wait for him. Then he comes. Yes, he always come, I think, as the shadow approaches me. he is a shadow, but a shadow of light. I cannot see him, only his eyes. They are all I can see. I know them so well. He lands above me, smiling down. I'm drowsy. Drowsy with the sight of him, and soon the touch of him, as he is now right infront of me, his ice cold hands soothing me. He wihispers, but I cannot hear him. With his eyes blazing down at me, I cannot concentrate on anything else. And now I am falling fast. Faster than ever. I hear him whisper the last time, before I am gone, calling.
"You will be mine, some day. I will claim you forever..."
I jumped awake again, looking to the right at my clock. 3:04. Now I was wide awake, scanning the room, my eyes getting used to the light. My eye suddenly caught on something unusual I could just see, that had blended into the darkness. Something that didn't belong. My heart skipped a beat. No, that couldn't be. I looked again, but in the blink of an eye, what I thought I'd seen was gone. I made excuses for what it could have been; a cloud, a figure of my imagination, and so on. But deep down, I knew what I just saw was real. Who I just saw standing in my bedroom was real. Either that or I wasn't all there in the head anymore. That thought brought any hope in myself right down, so I hoped I wasn't delusional. I hadn't just imagined Ryan, standing there, watching me with an expressionless face. God I was scared.
When I had built up enough courage, I got up out of bed, checking all the hiding places that could exist in my room, and peeked out of the window, nothing there. I breathed I sigh of relief, getting back into bed, not opening my eyes again once I'd closed them. Just in case. I finally fell back asleep, peacefully without any dreams haunting me, but still a little on edge.