We Must Be Careful Who We Pretend To Be

Love Or Lust

I'm in love...or maybe lust. It's the most ridiculous thing. Who, you may ask? Yes, it's my best friend Ellie's brother, Will. He lives in Boston and we live in San Francisco. Two opposite sides of the country. I might never have met him if it hadn't been for defying my parents.
My parents were insistent that I go to this small local college near my hometown of Oceanside. I was rebellious. I chose to stay in California as I could never see myself leaving the state. But, I went almost as far north as I could, U.C. Berkley. They liked the small college because it was private and Christian. I liked Berkley for its eclectic, artsy vibe. Don't get me wrong, I love and respect my parents, but I had to start doing things for myself.

So, who am I? My name is Abigail, well, Abby to everyone. I'm a ripe old age of 27 now. At school, I earned a bachelor's degree in art, staying in school until I earned my master's degree, and now am a graphic designer for a small record label. How to describe myself? I was the anti-popular. I was the kid in high school who always had a book in hand and music playing in her ear. I was the kid giving the finger to all the cheerleaders and jocks. No, I was not Goth, I was not punk, and please, don't call me emo. I was just myself. I didn't shop at the Gap; I shopped at the thrift store by choice.

There is one good word to describe my childhood: sheltered. My parents were the staunch religious types and I grew up Catholic. Needless to say, I went to Catholic schools all my life. Plaid jumpers made up my wardrobe for several years. Unfortunately for them, they raised me to be independent, thoughtful and curious. I think I broke their hearts when I decided to stop going to church the day I turned 18. One thing you need to know, I do believe in God. I just wanted it in simpler terms: love God, love people. I was respectful and followed the rules until I moved away. When I went to college, I truly was free.

I arrived at school wide-eyed, fresh, and innocent. The first person I met was my roommate, Ellie Harrington. She was everything I was not, bubbly, sweet, and naive. I may have been innocent, but I had an old soul. At 18, I was cynical and sarcastic. And, I still am. Polar opposites, we were. Ellie had pale blonde hair, bright blue eyes, and pale skin. I called her the Aryan Princess and said that she would have been lucky if she had lived in Germany during World War II. She was this tiny thing, about 5'2 and a size 2. Into fashion and fashionable music, I disliked her instantly. I could hardly compare myself to her. I have brown hair and brown eyes and a tan. I dwarfed Ellie at 5'8 and her tiny figure made my curvy one look Amazon-like. I felt like a gorilla compared to her.

However, we learned to get along, and surprisingly, became very close. I don't quite know how. Perhaps it worked because she wanted all the closet space, and I didn't need it. Or, maybe the fact that she was always on the telephone and I didn't complain. Slowly we started hanging out together, going to eat and parties. The clincher was when her boyfriend from home broke up with her and I was there for her. Now you'll see us walking down the street: the Amazon and the Pixie. Me in my beat up jeans and t-shirt, her in the latest fashion from Hollister.

So, that's Ellie and me. I know what you're thinking. "What about Will?" I'll tell you my story and he'll show up soon.

"Come on Abby!" Ellie cried. "Come home with me for a couple weeks."

I looked up from my Power Mac. "First of all, I don't know if I can get off work. Second of all, it's Boston in the winter. There's a reason why I didn't leave California."

"Please, Abby!"

"I'll see what I can do," I sighed, returning to the cd insert I had been working on.
I work, a lot, and haven't had a boyfriend since probably high school. Yah, I dated, but nothing serious ever came from it. In the beginning, Ellie brashly told her friends that she thought I might be gay. But, I wasn't, I'm just way to laid back when it comes to guys. I never try to get out of the friend zone. I'm kind of a guy myself. Obsessed with Star Wars and video games, I've never gotten along well with girls. I once had to take this personality test in college and it said I was a rogue leader, a loose cannon who takes advice from no one. I found it to be pretty accurate.

"Well, are you going to call?" Ellie pressed on.

"Goddammit woman! Now?" I cried, starting to get pissed off.

"Yes! I need to get tickets."

"Fine," I replied getting out my cell phone. Ellie waited impatiently while I talked to my boss. I told them some spiel about a sick family member. They believed me.

"Ok, Ellie. You win. I have to take my laptop and send work in daily, but they're going to let me have one week. So, why are we going anyways?"

"It's my parent's 35th wedding anniversary. My brother has been planning this big shindig because they are both turning 60 this year also. They got married right around their birthdays which are only a week apart."

"Ok, and story on the brother?"

"Will, 33, English professor at the local junior college."

"Ok, I've never met him right?''

"Nope."