We Must Be Careful Who We Pretend To Be
Dear Abby
I could feel everyone's eyes on me as I went over to the door. I opened the door and went outside. George was sitting on the patio, smoking a cigar. He looked up at me and smiled.
"Got one of those for me?" I asked.
"Anything for you Abby," he said, handing her one of the small black and mild's. I borrowed his lighter and puffed away. "So, why are you out here?"
"Odd man out," I replied wryly.
He nodded and we both puffed on our cigars.
"So...Amanda" George said carefully.
I rolled my eyes. "She is a little twit, isn't she? It's just so unlike Will."
"I definitely agree. But, you ended it. I think he just rushed to move on," he stated softly.
I buried my face in my hands. Eventually, I looked up. George was watching me.
"Do you like her?" I asked.
"Does it really matter?" he asked. "He's a grown man who makes his own decisions."
I took a puff. I knew I needed to agree with George, it made sense.
"I guess I just wish that he had picked someone…I don't know."
"More like you?" George finished.
I knew I was blushing. "Yes, I guess so."
"Darlin', he did pick someone like you, he picked you. Tell me something, how do you feel about him?"
I hesitated. Everything I said would probably go back to Will.
"I don't really know. I don't know if my feelings are real or if they're just jealousy. How do I know?"
"Well, when I met Mary, she wouldn't give me the time of day. But, she finally gave in. I can tell you, when I was in the military and had to be away from her, it was terrible. When I was with her, it just felt natural. And when I was away from her, it was like my life was hollow. I was jealous a lot. It's an awful feeling to see the person you love with someone else, isn't it?"
I just nodded and put the butt of the cigar in the ashtray.
"Thanks for the talk," I said. "I think that I'm going to head home."
"You're welcome, it was good seeing you Abby. I hope to see you again soon."
I gave him a hug and went back inside. Nobody was missing me. Mary, Rob, Ellie, Will, and Amanda were talking happily and laughing. I felt left out and very uncomfortable.
"Umm," I interrupted, they all stopped and looked at me. "Rob, can you take Ellie home tonight?"
"Sure," he said.
"Thanks, I think I'm going to go home. Thank you for dinner, Mary. And thanks for making everything vegan, it was all delicious."
"Anything for you and Will," she smiled.
Me and Will...I smiled sadly, blinking back tears.
"Goodnight."
I made it out to my car and began to cry. I sat there for a few moments, trying to calm down. I had screwed up. I had tried to keep myself safe, but Will already had my heart a long time ago, since the first day I met him. I started the car and drove back to the apartment.
"Got one of those for me?" I asked.
"Anything for you Abby," he said, handing her one of the small black and mild's. I borrowed his lighter and puffed away. "So, why are you out here?"
"Odd man out," I replied wryly.
He nodded and we both puffed on our cigars.
"So...Amanda" George said carefully.
I rolled my eyes. "She is a little twit, isn't she? It's just so unlike Will."
"I definitely agree. But, you ended it. I think he just rushed to move on," he stated softly.
I buried my face in my hands. Eventually, I looked up. George was watching me.
"Do you like her?" I asked.
"Does it really matter?" he asked. "He's a grown man who makes his own decisions."
I took a puff. I knew I needed to agree with George, it made sense.
"I guess I just wish that he had picked someone…I don't know."
"More like you?" George finished.
I knew I was blushing. "Yes, I guess so."
"Darlin', he did pick someone like you, he picked you. Tell me something, how do you feel about him?"
I hesitated. Everything I said would probably go back to Will.
"I don't really know. I don't know if my feelings are real or if they're just jealousy. How do I know?"
"Well, when I met Mary, she wouldn't give me the time of day. But, she finally gave in. I can tell you, when I was in the military and had to be away from her, it was terrible. When I was with her, it just felt natural. And when I was away from her, it was like my life was hollow. I was jealous a lot. It's an awful feeling to see the person you love with someone else, isn't it?"
I just nodded and put the butt of the cigar in the ashtray.
"Thanks for the talk," I said. "I think that I'm going to head home."
"You're welcome, it was good seeing you Abby. I hope to see you again soon."
I gave him a hug and went back inside. Nobody was missing me. Mary, Rob, Ellie, Will, and Amanda were talking happily and laughing. I felt left out and very uncomfortable.
"Umm," I interrupted, they all stopped and looked at me. "Rob, can you take Ellie home tonight?"
"Sure," he said.
"Thanks, I think I'm going to go home. Thank you for dinner, Mary. And thanks for making everything vegan, it was all delicious."
"Anything for you and Will," she smiled.
Me and Will...I smiled sadly, blinking back tears.
"Goodnight."
I made it out to my car and began to cry. I sat there for a few moments, trying to calm down. I had screwed up. I had tried to keep myself safe, but Will already had my heart a long time ago, since the first day I met him. I started the car and drove back to the apartment.