Status: Title change. Because, let's be honest, the previous title was LAME. Haha.
Roommates
Forty-five.
Gerard's POV:
I was lying face up on my unmade bed staring up onto my empty ceiling. My summer vacation is coming to a quick end. I do this a lot now. Just lie here by myself in serenity and just thinking. I tend to lose myself. I drift off into the abyss and get suffocated by my thoughts. It's hard to escape this at times. I don't mind being lost. It’s the only time where I really can be alone. I isolate myself mentally. This is where I feel like I can really focus on myself. Where I can piece things together and make sense of them. Where I can make decisions. Where I can just think.
I tend to think back a lot on the past. Not as far back as my childhood, no. I only go as far back as the few weeks before I came to college. But I tend to mostly focus on move in day. Where I first met Frank. I never thought I would be where I am today with him. Hell, I was sure that either he or I were going to have to leave the dorm and move into another dorm with another roommate. That’s what I thought the end to the ‘problem’ would be. I never imagined myself falling in love so deeply with him. I never imagined that I could, not only lose myself in my thoughts, but lose myself in him. In his eyes. In his voice.
I love watching him babble endlessly about music, something he loves so much. Or how he’ll create ‘what is’ scenarios in his head on how he thinks his future will be. He loves dogs. I love seeing his smile grow as he elaborates on the subject of dogs. His eyes sparkle and his voice is bouncy. I love watching him think about our future together. I like to hear how he imagines our life will be 5, 10, or even 50 years from now. I love this so much because I think of this as well.
I also love being Frank’s security blanket. I love being the person he clings onto and needs. I love being his shoulder to cry on. His open ears and kind words. I love that he trusts me so much. That he leans on me for support and love and advice. I love being the person he turns to in his time of need. I love being the last person he speaks to before he goes to sleep at night. I love being the person who can hear him utter the words “I love you” and know that they were so heartfelt and true.
Frank dropped out of the university a week after finals. Not everyone was made for college. That is why some go right into the working industry or into the military. They all have different goals that college just can fulfill for them. And that’s okay. I back him up 100%. I support him and the decisions that he makes. It took him a good month to finally come out and tell him mother and father about the decision he has made regarding his higher level education. Things were tense between his mother and him for a good few weeks. She doesn’t fully back up his decision but she realizes that there is not much that she can do. Not like Frank would take anything she says into consideration, anyways. I know what he is doing Is right for him. I know that he is making the right decision for him and him alone.
And I am attending my new university this fall. I have already started packing and getting everything ready for the morning where I hope onto the plane and head out. I can honestly say that I am excited for all the new things that I am going to experience. All the new things I am going to witness. To learn. To see. Everything. I can’t wait to meet new people and gain knowledge I once didn’t have. I can’t wait to learn new things so I can pursue the career that I love doing so much. I can’t wait to advance not only academically, but advance my knowledge and my skills. It’s an opportunity of a lifetime and I am grabbing it by the horns and taking the ride. I know it will all be worth it in the end. And I can’t wait.
The only problem I have with me going away for college is that I will most likely have to leave Frank behind. Neither he nor I have been through a long distance relationship before. We don’t have experience on how this is supposed to work. We don’t know what the future has in store for us, or whether there even is an ‘us’. I don’t really like the unknown. It scares me. I can’t imagine progressing through life without Frank there by my side. I can’t imagine starting my future art career without my muse. Without my rock. Without my best friend. Without the one that I love the most. I just can’t.
Frank and I have briefly touched on this subject a few times in the past. We haven’t really made much progress because I can sense tension once the subject is brought up. I know he doesn’t want me to leave, while on the other hand I know that he does. I know he wants me to pursue my love for art into a career. He wants what is best for me and he wouldn't put himself or his feelings in front of that. He wouldn't want to get in the way of that. Even though he won’t come straight out and tell me that he doesn’t want me to leave yet does at the same time, I already know how he feels. He isn’t very good at hiding things from me. I’ve learned to read him. Read his face and the tones in his voice.
My thoughts are suddenly interrupted when I hear a loud knock on my bedroom door.
“Gee, can I come in, please?” I hear Frank say softly.
I was lying face up on my unmade bed staring up onto my empty ceiling. My summer vacation is coming to a quick end. I do this a lot now. Just lie here by myself in serenity and just thinking. I tend to lose myself. I drift off into the abyss and get suffocated by my thoughts. It's hard to escape this at times. I don't mind being lost. It’s the only time where I really can be alone. I isolate myself mentally. This is where I feel like I can really focus on myself. Where I can piece things together and make sense of them. Where I can make decisions. Where I can just think.
I tend to think back a lot on the past. Not as far back as my childhood, no. I only go as far back as the few weeks before I came to college. But I tend to mostly focus on move in day. Where I first met Frank. I never thought I would be where I am today with him. Hell, I was sure that either he or I were going to have to leave the dorm and move into another dorm with another roommate. That’s what I thought the end to the ‘problem’ would be. I never imagined myself falling in love so deeply with him. I never imagined that I could, not only lose myself in my thoughts, but lose myself in him. In his eyes. In his voice.
I love watching him babble endlessly about music, something he loves so much. Or how he’ll create ‘what is’ scenarios in his head on how he thinks his future will be. He loves dogs. I love seeing his smile grow as he elaborates on the subject of dogs. His eyes sparkle and his voice is bouncy. I love watching him think about our future together. I like to hear how he imagines our life will be 5, 10, or even 50 years from now. I love this so much because I think of this as well.
I also love being Frank’s security blanket. I love being the person he clings onto and needs. I love being his shoulder to cry on. His open ears and kind words. I love that he trusts me so much. That he leans on me for support and love and advice. I love being the person he turns to in his time of need. I love being the last person he speaks to before he goes to sleep at night. I love being the person who can hear him utter the words “I love you” and know that they were so heartfelt and true.
Frank dropped out of the university a week after finals. Not everyone was made for college. That is why some go right into the working industry or into the military. They all have different goals that college just can fulfill for them. And that’s okay. I back him up 100%. I support him and the decisions that he makes. It took him a good month to finally come out and tell him mother and father about the decision he has made regarding his higher level education. Things were tense between his mother and him for a good few weeks. She doesn’t fully back up his decision but she realizes that there is not much that she can do. Not like Frank would take anything she says into consideration, anyways. I know what he is doing Is right for him. I know that he is making the right decision for him and him alone.
And I am attending my new university this fall. I have already started packing and getting everything ready for the morning where I hope onto the plane and head out. I can honestly say that I am excited for all the new things that I am going to experience. All the new things I am going to witness. To learn. To see. Everything. I can’t wait to meet new people and gain knowledge I once didn’t have. I can’t wait to learn new things so I can pursue the career that I love doing so much. I can’t wait to advance not only academically, but advance my knowledge and my skills. It’s an opportunity of a lifetime and I am grabbing it by the horns and taking the ride. I know it will all be worth it in the end. And I can’t wait.
The only problem I have with me going away for college is that I will most likely have to leave Frank behind. Neither he nor I have been through a long distance relationship before. We don’t have experience on how this is supposed to work. We don’t know what the future has in store for us, or whether there even is an ‘us’. I don’t really like the unknown. It scares me. I can’t imagine progressing through life without Frank there by my side. I can’t imagine starting my future art career without my muse. Without my rock. Without my best friend. Without the one that I love the most. I just can’t.
Frank and I have briefly touched on this subject a few times in the past. We haven’t really made much progress because I can sense tension once the subject is brought up. I know he doesn’t want me to leave, while on the other hand I know that he does. I know he wants me to pursue my love for art into a career. He wants what is best for me and he wouldn't put himself or his feelings in front of that. He wouldn't want to get in the way of that. Even though he won’t come straight out and tell me that he doesn’t want me to leave yet does at the same time, I already know how he feels. He isn’t very good at hiding things from me. I’ve learned to read him. Read his face and the tones in his voice.
My thoughts are suddenly interrupted when I hear a loud knock on my bedroom door.
“Gee, can I come in, please?” I hear Frank say softly.
♠ ♠ ♠
Hey! Long time no see - or long time no update!I've had a lot of things going on in my life to where I didn't have time to update or even think about any of the stories I currently had in progress. I graduated from high school in June and I am almost a month into my freshman year of college. It's just been a very stressful and emotional time for me, not including the personal issues I had going on as well.
I'm hoping to start updating this story again but more frequently than I have been. I don't know how many of you are still here or even remember this story, and I apologize for that. I hope to get back into the swing of things again.
I don't know how much longer this story will go on for, actually and I don't remember if I have said this before or not. But regardless I might be creating some new stories as well. Whether or not they will be fanfiction or not, I don't know. But keep a look out.
And again I am sorry for the wait. It's been too long.
Also, let me know if there are any inconsistencies in this chapter. I don't remember minor details of the story line that I had going, so if something is off please let me know. I will greatly appreciate it!!