If I Could Trade Mistakes

“Hey Cris,” I said into my phone receiver.

“Shelly! How’ve you been?! Oh my Gosh, I miss you so much! How’s tour life?”

“I’ve been good, and I miss you too. Tour life’s great, and Spencer’s super cool,” I made sure to throw in his name.

“Well what about Brendon? Do you guys still have a thing?”

“We did, up until about a week ago, when I found out he’s cheating on me. That’s not even the best part.”

“Well, what is?!” She yelled through the phone.

“I’m, ha, ha, well, I’m kinda sorta pregnant with his kid,” there was a silence.

“I’m whooping his ass, where are you guys, I’m driving out there, like, right now!” I laughed at her.

“I wish you would whoop him, and I wish you’d drive out here, but we’re all the way out here in New York. Tour’s gonna be over in about a month, and by then, I’ll probably be showing,” I said.

“All right, so does he know yet?”

“Nope, and I’m not telling him either. I’m losing contact with him when tour’s over.”

“Harsh,” she hissed.

“Yeah, we’ll if he’s gonna be a jerk to me like that, I don’t want him anywhere near our kid.” We talked for a few more minutes until her boyfriend, Jack, came to pick her up.

I walked back inside, to see Brendon grabbing his laptop off the table. His eyes were red and puffy, like he’d been crying. I rolled my eyes and sat on the couch next to Spencer. “What’s wrong with him?” I whispered.

“He’s been crying non-stop because of you. He really did love you, and he’s upset that things ended like they did. He usually breaks up with them after sex, which was why I figured he was going to dump you. Turns out he was going to dump the other girl for you. Shelly, he messed up, big time.”

“Yeah, he did. I guess I should go talk to him,” I tapped on the door and poked my head in. “Bren?” I said lightly. His head snapped up and he was rushing to wipe away tears.

“What do you want?” He decided it was useless and hid his face.

“To talk to you, is what Spencer said true?”

“What part, I told him at least a million.”

“Tell me your side of the story.” Which he did. Everything he said matched up with Spencer’s story, right down to the part where he messed up.

“Why’d you do it?” He looked at me like the question shocked him.

“I wasn’t thinking, I was drinking, and it seemed like a good idea at the time, but it wasn’t. I’m so sorry.”

“You’re right, it wasn’t, but it doesn’t matter anymore.”

“Do you forgive me?” He looked at me with those brown eyes. Damnet Brendon!

“I forgive you.” He wrapped his arms around me with a huge smile on his face. What on earth did I just say?

“Thank you so much,” his expression changed from excited to calm as we started into each others. Soon his lips crashed onto mine.

“Brendon, no, I can’t do this, I’m sorry, we just need to stay friends,” I got up off the couch.

“Will that ever change?” He looked at me with sad eyes.

“I don’t—I don’t know,” I stuttered. He nodded and I left. “He kissed me,” I mouthed to Spencer, noticing we had the Fall Out Boy crew on the bus. He raised his pointer finger and started texting.

Did you kiss him back? Spencer sent me.

No. I told him I wanted to stay friends, & he asked me if it would change. I said I didn’t know & left.

Harsh. I death glared him.

Shut up. It is not. He rolled his eyes.

“Where’s Brendon?” Pete asked me.

“Back there, working on music.”

“I’ll leave him focused on that, how good can you sing?” I raised my eyebrow at him.

“Why?”

“Cause we’re wanna play a few songs and we need someone to sing with Patrick, duh.”

“Shit, might as well.” They started playing the intro to 7 Minutes in Heaven (Atvan Halen) “I’m sleeping my way out of this one with anyone who will lie down. I’ll be stuck fixated on one star when the world is crashing down,” Patrick pointed at me.

“I keep telling myself, I keep telling my self I’m not the desperate type, but you’ve got me looking through blinds, I keep telling myself, I keep telling myself I’m not the desperate type.” We broke out into the chorus, and Patrick pointed at me once again before the second verse.

“The only thing worse than not knowing, is you thinking that I don’t know. I’m having another episode, I just need a stronger dose,” I belted out and the guys stared at me with wide eyes. We finished singing the song and after being congratulated, they decided I needed to sing a song by myself.

“Okay, I know which one,” I smiled. “Is it still me that makes you sweat, am I who you think about in bed when the lights are dim and your hands are shaking as you’re sliding off your dress. I hope you think of what you did, and how I hope to God to he was worth it, when the lights are dim and heart is racing as your fingers touch his skin.” The whole time I sung the song, I couldn’t help but want to change him to her, dress to pants, and he to she, and dedicated the song to Brendon, but I wasn’t that mean.

“God, you sing good! Do you play any instruments too?” Brendon stared at me from the doorway.

“Thank you, and I know how to play a few songs on guitar but that’s it,” Joe immediately handed me his acoustic and I started to play “What’s my Age Again?” by blink-182.

“Just remember, if you ever want to get signed, you know how to reach me,” Pete said in all seriousness.

“Thanks Panda,” I laughed and got a bottle of water out of the fridge.

“Jeeze Shelly, no offense, but you’re starting to rock a beer gut,” he replied. I looked down at my belly to see a little lump, but not a big one.

“I quit drinking. It’s all the damn Taco Bell and McDonald’s these boys eat. When I get home I’ll probably start exercising.”

“Why not exercise on tour?”

“Cause I’ve been tired since I got on tour, and exercising while tired is not a good thing.” I am such a terrible liar.

“Maybe if you weren’t up all night fucking Brendon, you wouldn’t be tired,” Andy smirked.

“Maybe if you duck, you won’t have a bruise on your head when I throw this phone at you. And it was one time, like six weeks ago.”

“Okay, eww!” Ryan shrieked.

“Ryan, you act like you’re the perfect virgin,” I laughed and sat next to him on the couch.

“Because I am,” he winked at me and smirked.

“Yeah, we’ll go with that,” I laughed. “Ryan, I’m tired, therefore I’m stealing your bunk to sleep in,” I started walking back to the bunks when Pete caught me from behind, wrapping his arms extremely tight around my stomach, and picking me up. “Pete! Let go!” I shrieked.

“Sorry, I didn’t think I squeezed that hard!” Pete said.

“It hurt, really bad. My fat’s really sensitive,” I pouted and texted him, even though Brendon wasn’t in hearing range.

Pete, I’m pregnant. Please don’t do it again, and please don’t tell Brendon.

What took place next happened so fast I didn’t know what was going on until it was too late.