Get Tangled Up In Me

Do you feel better now, as she falls to the ground?

That night I slowly walked. My sad excuse of a mother was asleep on the couch with her beloveds surrounding her yet again. I heard Jared upstairs with his music turned up, and smiled to myself. I limped up the stairs and knocked lightly on his door.

“Yeah?” He asked opening the door, a small smile playing at his lips. It completely vanished when he looked at my face. “What the fuck happened Raven?” He growled pulling me in and sitting me on his bed.

“Billy and I were messing around and-” I couldn’t tell him what really happened. He’d flip out. “I fell down the stairs.” I ended lamely.

“Sure you did,” He said not believing me at all. “Raven. If this happens again I’m telling Gerard.” I felt as I’d been hit in the gut again.

“You just don’t get it do you?” I asked in disgust standing up and moving towards the door. “Billy loves me. He just… Doesn’t know how to show it. I’m getting in the shower. Don’t wait up.” I walked out the room, pausing at the door. That was a little harsh, but he deserved it. Like Gerard needs another reason to hate Billy.

But that brought a new thought. Why does Gerard care so much? He obviously isn’t giving Billy the slightest chance to prove himself. What’s his problem?

I locked the door behind me and sighed. This shit was fucked up. I slowly slipped out of my pants and brought my shirt over my head. I had a small bruise resembling the shape of a handprint on my face, one kind of on my hip and stomach, one on the back of my neck, and a bloody lip.

I hurt everywhere. Mostly from the worst beating I’ve ever had in my life, but also from what he did to me. I couldn’t even think of it.

I had always pictured my first time being special. I mean I know it’s not like the movies or anything like that, but with someone special to make it special. But that’s gone now, and it’s never coming back.

I took a short shower that was a bit painful, and went directly to bed.
***

Cover up with make up in the mirror
Tell yourself it's never gonna happen again
You cry alone and then he swears he loves you.

I waited for Gerard that morning silently praying Jared was still asleep. I couldn’t handle him coming out here and pushing his nose in my business. Billy drove up with his car.

“Get in babe.” He said with a smirk. I stared at him coldly. I told my self I wouldn’t let him control me anymore. I wouldn’t.

“Gerard’s actually coming to get me.” I smiled a big fake bubbly smile. “So you can leave.” He snorted.

“Get in the fucking car Raven.” He growled his face losing all amusement. “And call you stupid friend and tell him not to pick you up?” He mocked slightly and reached for my wrist through the open car door. He squeezed my left wrist with a smirk on his face knowing how painful this was for me.

“Billy, please just stop!” I yelled yanking my arm. I felt some more tears come down my face. This was supposed to stop. It was supposed to stop! Then by some miracle Billy let go, just as another car pulled up.

“Fine bitch. Go with your freaky pedophile friends! I don’t give a fuck.” He shouted shoving me into the grass and speeding off. I don’t know why, but I half expected one of the guys to jump out of the car and see if I was ok. Didn’t happen.

Mikey lazily rolled his window don’t. “You ok Raven?” he laughed. I smiled knowing he really didn’t care.

“This doesn’t hurt.” I replied sitting up, ignoring the pain, and turning to go back to the house. “But you do.”

Face down in the dirt
She said "This doesn't hurt"
She said "I finally had enough!"