Get Tangled Up In Me
And if every hole makes a scar and every scar mark
then I will never live freely without your trace.
Raven’s POV
We stayed lying in my bed until noon. We just laid there staring at each other. His arms were around my waist tightly, my hand on his cheek. We had heard Jared leave noisily about four hours before, and then the house was basically silent. That is, until the door slammed shut and we heard the screech of tires pulling out of the driveway. I jumped up and ran to the window, pulling the curtain out of the way and seeing that the car was gone. My mother had left.
“She’s gone,” I observed, breaking the silence that had lasted between us for hours. I was almost embarrassed to look at him, now that he could safely yell all he wanted to. He just sighed and walked up to me, wrapping his arms around my waist.
“Let’s go clean up that mess, ok?” He suggested quietly. He didn’t even look at me. But how could I blame him. He knew that I cut myself. He thought I hit myself. He didn’t even believe me.
“Gerard, The bruises I really didn’t-” I started to say but he just let go of me and turned around.
“Raven I’m not stupid,” He shouted. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm down. When he spoke his voice was low and emotionless. “When your addicted to something, you tell people… People that you love things. Things that they want to hear, or need to hear. Hell you tell yourself those same things. When your addicting to things you lie, you cheat, and you hurt people. So Raven just let it go while your ahead, ok?”
I nodded slowly, tears prickling my eyes again. I couldn’t grasp the fact that he refused to listen to me. I should have known, Billy was right along. Nobody would love me unless I gave them what they wanted. It was the only way to make me better.
***
I felt the familiar feeling of Billy’s hand connecting to my jaw and fell on my bed. I was bad again. I wouldn’t… I couldn’t let him do it though. I wasn’t ready. It was amazing how I got so vulnerable. The real Raven Farr wouldn’t put up with this.
For some reason Gerard was still on my mind. We had cleaned up my house, laughing; forgetting everything. He knew most of what has been happening, but not the worst of it. It was somehow easier that way. I was glad that Billy wasn’t the only one who knew anymore. We went back to my room and he fell asleep on my bed after we talked for a little while. I wasn’t tired at all, so I sat on the other side of him, with my legs pulled in and my arms around them, resting my head on my knees, just watching him sleep.
He looked so peaceful, just laying there, and it looked like he didn’t have a worry in the world, dreaming with a soft smile on his face. I scooted closer to him, and touched his cheek. His face was so soft, I couldn’t help but graze a finger over his chapped lips.
I put my hand back in its respectable spot and watched him a little more. Suddenly his eyes blinked open and he sat up yawning. I quickly averted my gaze to the window. I turned back to him slowly, to see him looking at me and smiling.
“Enjoy you nap then?” I laughed at the awkwardness, biting my lip and looking down at the sheets. And that’s when Billy stormed in, nostrils flaring and face red. But he let out a deep breath and laughed, sitting next to me with his arm around me like we were all old friends.
He was strangely sweet, being extremely affectionate. Gerard smiled sadly every time he touched me. I just wanted him to stop, to leave Gerard and me alone. But I knew he was just doing this for me, to make me be the best me I could possibly be. Every time Gerard looked away Billy glared at me and I choked down a gulp, knowing I was in trouble.
Finally Gerard excused himself, stating he had to get home to help his mom for dinner and that he’d see us both tomorrow. The second the door clicked shut and Billy watched Gerard walk down the street, all hell broke loose.
“So you ditched school, and me to hang out with this 21 year old loser who still hangs out with seniors in high school. I mean he’s obviously a pedophile.” He suddenly stopped talking and got a smart ass look on his face. “Your doing him aren’t you? You little slut.” He slapped me again.
“So you can give him what he wants but not your own boyfriend?
“Billy!” I sobbed. “I- Gerard is just my friend. I love you!” He smirked and leaned over me on the bed.
“Then prove it.” He growled.
Raven’s POV
We stayed lying in my bed until noon. We just laid there staring at each other. His arms were around my waist tightly, my hand on his cheek. We had heard Jared leave noisily about four hours before, and then the house was basically silent. That is, until the door slammed shut and we heard the screech of tires pulling out of the driveway. I jumped up and ran to the window, pulling the curtain out of the way and seeing that the car was gone. My mother had left.
“She’s gone,” I observed, breaking the silence that had lasted between us for hours. I was almost embarrassed to look at him, now that he could safely yell all he wanted to. He just sighed and walked up to me, wrapping his arms around my waist.
“Let’s go clean up that mess, ok?” He suggested quietly. He didn’t even look at me. But how could I blame him. He knew that I cut myself. He thought I hit myself. He didn’t even believe me.
“Gerard, The bruises I really didn’t-” I started to say but he just let go of me and turned around.
“Raven I’m not stupid,” He shouted. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm down. When he spoke his voice was low and emotionless. “When your addicted to something, you tell people… People that you love things. Things that they want to hear, or need to hear. Hell you tell yourself those same things. When your addicting to things you lie, you cheat, and you hurt people. So Raven just let it go while your ahead, ok?”
I nodded slowly, tears prickling my eyes again. I couldn’t grasp the fact that he refused to listen to me. I should have known, Billy was right along. Nobody would love me unless I gave them what they wanted. It was the only way to make me better.
***
I felt the familiar feeling of Billy’s hand connecting to my jaw and fell on my bed. I was bad again. I wouldn’t… I couldn’t let him do it though. I wasn’t ready. It was amazing how I got so vulnerable. The real Raven Farr wouldn’t put up with this.
For some reason Gerard was still on my mind. We had cleaned up my house, laughing; forgetting everything. He knew most of what has been happening, but not the worst of it. It was somehow easier that way. I was glad that Billy wasn’t the only one who knew anymore. We went back to my room and he fell asleep on my bed after we talked for a little while. I wasn’t tired at all, so I sat on the other side of him, with my legs pulled in and my arms around them, resting my head on my knees, just watching him sleep.
He looked so peaceful, just laying there, and it looked like he didn’t have a worry in the world, dreaming with a soft smile on his face. I scooted closer to him, and touched his cheek. His face was so soft, I couldn’t help but graze a finger over his chapped lips.
I put my hand back in its respectable spot and watched him a little more. Suddenly his eyes blinked open and he sat up yawning. I quickly averted my gaze to the window. I turned back to him slowly, to see him looking at me and smiling.
“Enjoy you nap then?” I laughed at the awkwardness, biting my lip and looking down at the sheets. And that’s when Billy stormed in, nostrils flaring and face red. But he let out a deep breath and laughed, sitting next to me with his arm around me like we were all old friends.
He was strangely sweet, being extremely affectionate. Gerard smiled sadly every time he touched me. I just wanted him to stop, to leave Gerard and me alone. But I knew he was just doing this for me, to make me be the best me I could possibly be. Every time Gerard looked away Billy glared at me and I choked down a gulp, knowing I was in trouble.
Finally Gerard excused himself, stating he had to get home to help his mom for dinner and that he’d see us both tomorrow. The second the door clicked shut and Billy watched Gerard walk down the street, all hell broke loose.
“So you ditched school, and me to hang out with this 21 year old loser who still hangs out with seniors in high school. I mean he’s obviously a pedophile.” He suddenly stopped talking and got a smart ass look on his face. “Your doing him aren’t you? You little slut.” He slapped me again.
“So you can give him what he wants but not your own boyfriend?
“Billy!” I sobbed. “I- Gerard is just my friend. I love you!” He smirked and leaned over me on the bed.
“Then prove it.” He growled.
♠ ♠ ♠
Ok so I just wanted to make the ages of everyone clear, because im confusing myself. It’s December 1998 and Gerard is 21, Raven is 17 and a senior. She started school the year she was supposed to even though she was born in October. Frank is 16 and a junior. Kay, Dani, Char, Mikey, Billy, and Shawn are all turning 18 soon(except Mikey whose birthday is in September) and seniors. Jared is 13 and in eighth grade. I’m trying to make this as accurate as possible. Basically it’s the same except Instead of Gerard being an artist he’s a teacher. They are still going to form My Chemical Romance. I think that’s pretty much it huh? Sorry about any confusion.So anyway I wanted to wish you all a happy Slurpee Day, but I wasn’t able to update because my parents dragged me, the vegetarian, to Urban Burger. I mean come on! But they have really good veggie burgers so it ended up ok. SO HAPPY 7/11 DAYY WOOO! Lol. I got my free slurpee, did anybody else? Coffee slurpees are actually pretty good.