Get Tangled Up In Me

I'm a desperate cry for help

I sat in the car, feeling the friction between Mikey and Gerard almost suffocating me. They wouldn’t even look at each other. Mikey sat, staring through the side window, his lips pursed tightly.

Gerard, on the other hand, was staring out the windshield looking as if he were about to cry. Through the mirror, I could see his eyes full of remorse and regret. I wondered what exactly happened before I walked into the kitchen.

I sighed and glanced out the window. Before we left, I called Jared to tell him what had happened. He wasn’t worried, he had figured that was what happened. He also told me mom didn’t come home last night. We were both worried about her.

The rain was coming down hard, snow long gone. That was one thing I hated. After the snow, there was always rain. Before the snow, there was always rain. During the snow, there was always rain. Fuck rain.

“You can’t fuck rain, dipshit.” Mikey said. I looked at the side mirror where he was staring at me through. I hadn’t realized I said that last bit outloud.

“Well, I’m sure if anybody could, it’d be you to find the way,” I teased stretching my legs a little. The backseat was so cramped. “Gerard you really need a new car. I’m dying back here.”

“Shut up,” He said, smiling at me through the rear view mirror. “Why can’t you just admit you love my car and get over it?” I laughed but kept my mouth shut. I didn’t want to hurt his fragile feelings. We all knew he loved this car more then anything in the world.

We finally got past the morning traffic and arrived at school, and I felt the butterflies erupt in my stomach. I nervously glanced at Mikey, then Gerard. They were still not looking at each other, the unspoken words still hanging between them hatefully. Again, I kept my mouth shut.

Mikey mumbled off an excuse, saying he had to go talk to his history teacher. Gerard told me he had some papers to grade, and scurried off into the opposite direction. I sighed and trudged through the muddy snow to go find Frank and Dani.

The group was standing by a tree out front of the school, looking to closely to snowmen in all their bundled upness. “Hey,” I called out, smiling. They each said their good mornings and went back to their conversations as I zoned out, looking for Billy. I didn’t see him yet so I decided to ask Dani, Frank, and Shawn [Dani’s boyfriend if you don’t remember]. “Have you seen Billy?” I said in a low voice. Dani shook her head, a grim look on her face.

“He’s over there,” Frank said, pointing. I looked at him and remembered the way I felt when I first saw him. It seemed so long ago since my birthday.

“Ok,” I sighed running my fingers through my hair. “I’m going to go break up with him.” Frank looked shocked.

“Why?” He asked. Dani shook her head again. Shawn tightened his grip around her waist.

“Be careful,” She whispered. I nodded and slowly walked towards him.

“How was your holiday?” He asked. It felt weird, listening to him talk. It didn’t have the same effect it had on me all those months ago. Now it just scared me.

“It was fine,” I said slowly. “Billy, you know what I’m going to say. Don’t make this any worse then it already is.” His blue eyes flashed.

“This isn’t over until I say it is,” He growled, stepping closer. I fixed my stare on my shoes.

“Billy, if we just end this now, I promise I won’t tell anybody. We an go our separate ways. Pretend this never happened.” I mumbled. He took another step closer.

“We are not over.” He snarled. “Are you seriously going to through away the only person who truly cares about you?” I sharply brought my gaze back to his, taking a step back.

“Don’t feed me that bullshit.” I snapped. “I’m not the vulnerable little girl I was a week ago. I don’t need you ruining my life anymore. You’ve done enough damage.”

He grabbed my arm forcefully, so hard that the blood stopped flowing. “You need to seriously rethink what you’re saying.” I squirmed trying to get away from him, glancing wildly at Dani.

“Let go of me!” I wailed, almost to hysterics, trying to pry his fingers off of my arm. He opened his mouth to say something, then stopped. I quickly turned my head to the side where Frank and Shawn were standing next to me, the laughter that was in their eyes before long gone.

“I believe she said let go,” Shawn growled. Billy let go and backed off, his hands raised in surrender. He slowly lowered his arms, staring at me angrily.

“This isn’t over,” He finally said. I shook my head.

“Your right. It won’t be over until everyone knows.” I laughed sarcastically. “And believe me, they will.”

He threw one last glare at me before fleeing. I wrapped my hand around my arm, gently rubbing the soon to be bruise.

“Are you ok?” Frank whispered, placing his hand on my back. I looked into his eyes, my eyes forming tears and threw my arms around him.

“Thank you, Frankie,” I sniffled. I pulled away and smiled, turning to Shawn. “Shawn,” I whispered throwing my arms around him. He held me as I cried into his shoulder. “I knew I let you be Dani’s big strong boy toy for a reason.” I laughed, wiping my tears away.

We walked back over to the group, and thankfully they kept their mouths shut. I gave Dani a look, letting her know I thought it was ok for her to tell everyone happened, if they asked. She nodded.

“Raven, we have to go to first period,” Kay said, putting her arm around my shoulder. “Ugh we have exams next week, don’t we?” I laughed and put my arm around her waist.

“Yes, and then we are done with History. Thank God.” I replied.

“But then we have health,” She reminded me. I groaned. “I know, I wish we had done it sophomore year like everyone else.” She agreed.

“We’re dumbfucks,” I admitted. We got to the classroom and sat in our seats acrossed from each other. “Wait, Kay we missed homeroom, didn’t we?” She nodded.

“The bell went off during you an Billy’s argument. We decided just to skip. I’m sure Gerard will excuse you and Dani if you tell him what happened.” I nodded in agreement as the bell rang and we began Hell all over again.

After another boring class of doing nothing but doodling, the bell rang and first period was finally over. Kay waited for me at the door, ready to go to Gerard’s room for second period.

“Hey, Kay I think I’m going to go to the bathroom, I really have to pee,” I laughed. She smiled.

“Ok, I’ll meet you there then,” She said, calling over her shoulder. “Save you a spot!” I nodded and turned to go to the bathroom, trying to get my thoughts collected. I was a little nervous about seeing Gerard.

I didn’t know what would happen now that I no longer had the ties to Billy that I had. I scared that he would say he was only using me, just like Billy was. I wondered if that was why he had been so quiet this morning. Maybe Mikey was in on it too.

I shook my head, trying to get these thoughts away. I knew that Gerard would never do that. I was just falling back to my old ways. I glanced down at my leg, feeling as if I could see those day old scars through the cloth of my pants. I felt ashamed.

“Raven,” I heard a male voice say. I whipped my head around and felt my jaw drop. This couldn’t be happening.

“B-Billy,” I stammered. “Wha- what are you doing here?” My voice was an octave higher then it should be. I knew he could see the fear in my eyes.

“Well, Ravey,” he smirked, pulling out something shiny and sharp. “I was thinking it was about time to take things to the next level. How about a game?” He slowly walked closer to me, sharp blade in hand.

Suddenly, I was more then afraid. I wondered if I would ever make it out of this bathroom alive.