Get Tangled Up In Me

But it's through you and I know.

I opened my eyes and gasped for breath. It was so bright. I blinked a few times to get my sight back and looked around the room. I was in the hospital. I looked down to see a hand around mine.

Gerard was sitting in the chair next to my bed, fast asleep. On the counter, there were stacks of empty coffee cups. To say he looked like shit was an understatement.

I looked around the rest of the room. There were cards, candy, stuffed animals, and balloons on another table. There was a tray next to me with some food and water. I quickly filled a glass and took a sip, the water burning my throat.

I wiggle a little to get more comfortable, and yelped in pain. My back was on fire, and my skull felt like it was going to explode. Gerard jumped up.

“Raven!” He bent down and hugged me. I bit my lip to stop another scream and closed my eyes trying to focus on something other then the pain. He must have seen the look of pain on my face, because when I opened my eyes his were as wide as saucers. “I’m sorry,” He whispered. His hands went up to his face.

“Gerard,” I said. My voice sounded so weak. He peeked through his fingers, but refused to touch me. “Baby, stop. You didn’t know.” I said gently. He nodded and sat on the edge of my bed carefully.

I studied his worry-filled face and saw the relief in his eyes. I smiled and took his hand. “Babe,” I whispered. “You look like shit.” He laughed.

“You don’t look so great yourself.” He teased. I laughed with him, quietly.

“What’s today?” I asked. He frowned and thought.

“It’s been three days. It’s Thursday morning.” He answered finally.

“What happened?” I whispered, finally unable to keep the question from my lips. He sighed and ran his finger through his hair. When he looked up I could see tears on his face.

“I told you, Raven.” He said in an emotionless voice. “I told you I would kill him.” The tears fell more freely and his voice cracked. “Raven I killed him. I killed a person.” I felt my own eyes well up with tears.

“Gerard you had to,” I cried. “He was going to kill me.” I opened my arms and he crawled closer to me. I held him as he cried, ignoring the shooting pains in my back for now. I rubbed is back and kissed his head so many times I lost count.

“Raven, I love you. I love you so much,” He whispered, looking up at me. I nodded as he brushed my own tears from my cheek. “I’m so glad you ok. I was so scared-” he voice cracked again as he broke off

“I love you too, Gerard.” I whispered back. He stared into my eyes, and I knew we would be ok. “So much. But sweetie, I really need some fucking painkillers before I tear my hair out of my head.” He laughed and got up, pressing the call button.

Frank’s mom came into the room, her eye’s lighting up when she saw that I was awake. “Raven!” She said in a cheery voice. “Looking for some pain meds, I bet?” I smiled at her and nodded. She looked at Gerard and pursed her lips.

“You seriously need to take a shower,” Was all she said. Gerard smiled. I knew Mrs. Iero was like a mother to him.

“I just had to make sure Raven would be ok,” He said softly. I bit my lip and smiled at him. Mrs. Iero tried to hid her smile as she bent over and kissed my forehead.

“I’ll get the doctor soon,” She called over her shoulder. I nodded again and sighed.

“Where’s Jared?” Was the next thing to come out of my mouth.

“He’s staying at my house,” he relied awkwardly. I frowned.

“My mom?” He sighed and looked away. My voice rose “Gerard? My mother. Where the fuck is she?”

“She’s at home,” He lowered his eyes to the floor. “My mom refused to let her see you while she was drunk. They are at your house dealing with her drinking.” I nodded and thought about that.

“My mom suggested rehab to your dad,” He said after a few minutes of silence. I raised an eyebrow. “He thought it might be a good idea. You and Jared, well you’d stay at my house. It’s easiest that way.” I nodded again, then smiled asking the first question to pop in my head.

“Where would I sleep?” I said. He smiled, that was what he had thought of first as well.

“My mom suggested giving you the guest room, but Jared said he thought you would like the basement better. It was always your favorite place, and it would help you get past all of this. I offered to move upstairs, but my parents talked about it and said that we were more like brother and sister then anything, and that they think we can share the basement,” He laughed. “Besides, Jared’s a teenage boy, he needs his privacy.” I laughed with him.

“I don’t need that in my head now.” I complained rubbing my forehead, then my eyes and yawning. “So, I guess we’ll have to be quiet, then hmm?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Shut up and eat,” he laughed. I complied. “The other’s will be coming soon. I’m sure Linda has already called Frank. You have to get some strength back.” He went to sit down in the chair again, but paused. “You are ok, aren’t you Ravey?”

I shivered remembering Billy’s voice as he spoke my name, but nodded. “Thanks to you,” I smiled, sitting up to kiss him gently. “We’ll have to be extra careful now,” I warned. “Because Billy knew. He saw us. And if Billy saw us, that doesn’t mean other people can’t.” He nodded and looked at his feet. I felt there was something he wasn’t telling me but didn’t say anything.

I sighed and sat back in bed, wincing at the pain that consumed me. There must have been something wrong with my back. It hurt like hell.

Gerard sat back in his chair closing his eyes. He finally looked peaceful, happy I suppose, that I was finally awake. I wondered how the others were dealing. Knowing Dani, she was a mess. I continued eating, trying not to disturb Gerard.

I assumed he hadn’t left. And knowing him, even if he ha dleft, he spent every second worrying about me.

A few minutes later my jello was gone and the doctor came in.

“I’m happy to see you up and well, Miss Farr.” He smiled and pulled out a folder. “We have a few things to discuss. First off, you have a fracture in the back of you skull and you’ve broken your tailbone. You also lost a lot of blood, and had to have a few transfusions.” I nodded; I had figured that much already. He paused and leaned against a cabinet.

“Raven. Miss Farr, are you sexually active?” He said finally. I frowned but nodded.

“Billy, my boyfriend,” I gulped. “The one, you know.” He nodded. “He- I. He r-r” Gerard interrupted, his voice as cold as steel.

“He raped her.” I nodded again. The doctor nodded slowly, staring at him, trying to figure out Gerard’s place in all this. He turned back to me.

“We had to do quite a few x-rays while you were unconscious. There were a few problems; we noticed something that shouldn’t be there.” He looked at me. “You see, pregnant women aren’t supposed to have x-rays.” My jaw dropped and I sat up quickly, ignoring the pain.

“P-pregnant?” I whispered. He nodded.

“We did an ultrasound after the x-ray. Luckily, there are no visible damages to the fetus.” Holy shit. There was a fetus. I put my hand on my stomach. He frowned. “Miss Farr, were you aware that you were three months pregnant?” I shook my head, my eyes filling with tears. Billy. Billy’s baby was in me.

“I want it out,” I whispered. “I want this baby out of me.”

“That’s understandable, Miss Farr, considering the circumstances, but are you sure this is something you want to say without thinking? How about you think on it, and if you still want that option I have some places you can call.” He glanced down at his deeper and smiled weakly. “I have to go; I’ll give you some time to think.”

He fled the room and my hands curled into fists as I stared at the wall. All I could think of was that part of him was inside me. It would always be inside me.

“Raven,” Gerard whispered trying to grab my hand. I flinched, pulling away from him.

“Just go. Please, just leave me alone.” I whispered. I wanted to die.