Keeping His Secret

“Good morning, Daniel.” Mom said quietly. I nodded back, grabbing a bowl for food. I dumped in the tasteless cereal, sitting down at the table to eat.

My relationship with my mother was an uncomfortable one. I had memories of before when we couldn’t be in the same room with each other without smiling. Now we were lucky if we made eye contact once in a day.

I finished my breakfast as quickly as I could, trying to leave the tension-thick room. I hated mornings because of this reason. We had nothing to talk about, but Mom tried regardless.

“How are you feeling?” she asked as I stood up, walking to the sink.

“I’m fine.” I answered monotonously

“Did you get all of your homework done?”

I nodded, heading to the door. “Yeah, I need to get to school.”

“Oh.” She seemed dejected “Goodbye Daniel, I love you.”

I hesitated, surprised by the tag on. “Love you too, Mom. Bye.”

Though it was late, she seemed satisfied by my response.

I left the house as quickly as I could.

The bus stop was quiet as usual. None of the kids spoke as I walked up. I didn’t try to start a conversation with any either. It seemed that everyone was content with the silence in the mornings before school.

I shivered against the chilly March air as I waited. With nothing but a think jacket, I was defenseless against the cold as it lashed out at me.

I didn’t mind though.

The cold was my compay. It always seemed to be with me wherever I went. It had been a long time since I felt warm internally.

I couldn’t remember the last time.

The bus came, and we walked on silently.

I plugged headphones in as soon as I sat down in my usual seat. I wasn’t in the back, but thankfully, nor was I in the front of the bus. The middle, more like it. I was content in the middle. The blare of the bass was rough in my ears. I didn’t care. I was well aware that my hearing would be gone sooner than normal, but I didn’t care. The deafening volume was my friend, and I welcomed its presence.

It was a quick was to escape, and I was desperate.

~*~

School passed slowly. I never did the homework that had been assigned the night before. The teachers by now were smart enough to realize that nothing they tried would faze me. I simply wasn’t going to put the effort into something I didn’t care about.

The bell rang, freeing me of the intense boredom instilled by my math teacher. I hated that class. I understood none of it, finding it irrelevant to my life.

Students all around me rushed to escape. I took my time packing my notes up. I had no friends waiting for me at the lockers, no classes in a wing opposite the one I was currently in. My next class was only a few doors down.

Why rush?

I slung my backpack over my shoulder, one of the last in the room.

“Oh, Mr. Stone?” My math instructor asked as I walked past his desk. He didn’t look up from his desk as he asked for my attention.

I hesitated at the door, “Yes?”

“I need to talk to you about your recent scoring of the math test you took on Tuesday.” He said, sounding utterly bored.

Why bother me with this if you didn’t want to talk about it yourself?

“What about it?” I asked innocently, walking in front of his desk. I knew the answer. I had failed once again. He didn’t look up, staring at the work sheets in front of him.

“You’re failing the class now.”

“So?”

“I would suggest taking advantage of the school’s tutoring system.” He sighed, looking up at me “We can get you someone your age or older who can put this into terms you’d understand. It’s actually quiet helpful from what I hear from the students in it.”

“No thanks.” I said as politely as I could.

“Really? You’re not even going to think about it?” He asked, surprised.

“Sir, no offense, but I don’t think the tutoring would do me any good.” I sighed, glancing towards the door, “I really must get to my next class.”

“Daniel, please look into this. You never know, you might actually find it beneficial” He said hopefully. I could tell he really believed that I would improve if I joined the tutoring.

“Sure.” I lied just to please him. “I’ll look into it.”

He nodded, dismissing me.

I left as quickly as I could.

English had never been a favorable subject of mine. I never understood the point of learning grammar you had learned in second grade, or reading stories that were centuries old. It seemed irrelevant to me for this to be one of the core classes.

Nonetheless, I sat through the bore every day.

I took a seat in my normal spot by the window. It gave me a distraction instead of my thoughts to watch what happened in nature. A few birds were out, surprisingly, resting atop a tree branch. It was a pine tree, so green was still covering it. I watched as they ruffled their feathers, moving around on the branch.

They disappeared into the mess of green, leaving me pondering over why they went there.

Maybe they were just cold. It was chilly outside and still March. It would be understandable for them to seek shelter inside the branches of the tree.

Lunch couldn’t have come any quicker than it did.

I left the classroom, stopping by my locker to trade out books. The cafeteria was the furthest walk that I took in a day. Even then, it wasn’t very far. I walked there slowly, taking my time.

I dropped my books off at my usual table, getting in the pizza line. I was usually one of the first people in the cafeteria, which meant that I had the shortest wait for food. I was in no rush though. I paid for my pizza, heading back to my table.

No matter how early I arrived to the lunchroom, Sara always beat me to eating.

Sara was a freshman, only a year younger than myself. She had moved here from the town over last year, but still had yet to make any more friends. We were outcasts together, disconcerted with the rest of the peers. We took comfort with each other.

But unlike me, Sara had more than just one friend. She had stayed in touch with the few she had from her previous school. There was an attempt to get me to befriend her friends, but that failed sadly. I was more than happy with just Sara.

“Hello.” Sara said quietly as I sat down across from her. She nibbled on the homemade sandwich that she brought every day. I didn’t have to look to know it was peanut butter and jelly on white bread. It never changed.

“Hi.” I mumbled, taking a bit of my pizza. I chewed slowly, savoring the taste of recently heated up pizza.

Neither of us spoke as we ate. Sara stared at the table before us, while my eyes were focused on the wall behind her.

Our usual positions.

“I need to get out of here.” I stated simply. Sara knew exactly what I meant though. I needed to leave the school.

“I’m not going with you today.”

I frowned, “How come?”

“I have a test in science.”

“All the more reason to ditch.”

She looked up, meeting my eyes. I noticed the seriousness in her look as she spoke, “I’m not making up any damn test on my time.”

I sighed, “Of course you aren’t.”

“When are you leaving?” The softness in her voice returned.

“Right after lunch.”

“Oh.”

I nodded, taking a sip of the water in front of me. Sara raised an eyebrow, taking note as to how it was her water bottle I had just drank from.

I smirked, putting it down in front of her. “Thank you.”

She rolled her eyes, taking a sip after me, “It’s a good thing I’m used to you by now, or we’d have an issue.”

“You know, we just indirectly kissed.”

She frowned, flinging some of the water at me “Asshole.”

I shrugged, holding back a grin from my face. Sara was definitely pretty, but for whatever reason, I felt no attraction towards her. I assumed it was because of how close we were. I knew that if she ever attempted to be more social, she would have a boyfriend in no time.

She had never shown any interest though.

I was fine with that.

We didn’t talk much the rest of the period. This was how lunch usually went for us.

The bell rang, dismissing us back to our classes. I stopped at my locker, grabbing my backpack to leave. It wasn’t unusual to see people caring their backpack around in the hallways. I took advantage of that whenever I wanted to leave.

The doors were always monitored by teachers and cameras, therefore useless as an escape route.

Sara and I had discovered earlier in the year that the science room in the junior wing was never occupied this period, nor was it ever locked.

That became our mutual escape. Climb out the window as quietly as possible, and no one would ever notice.

I entered the room, closing the door behind me. Enough light filtered in from the windows for me to see. Not that I would dare turn the switch on anyways.

I pried the window open slowly, throwing my backpack out first. I forced my legs out of the window, followed by the rest of my body. I shivered slightly from the chilly air, quickly growing used to it.

I closed the window, slinging my bag over my shoulders. I took off. My feet thudded as I ran down the pavement, destination straight ahead. I tried to be as quiet as possible, ducking past all the windows with hopes of not being caught.

As soon as the trees engulfed my body, I slowed down. My heart thudded rapidly in my chest, breathing quick and shallow. My feet led me down the familiar path.

The park was the destination for any time I left school. It was the only place that I could possibly go. I couldn’t go home; Mom always got home before me. I had no money to go to the movies or the mall.

Very few people were ever at the park when I went, making it the ideal place for any afternoon of relaxation.

I ran a hand through my hair as the playground came in sight.

It must’ve been too cold for any parents to want their kids out here for the park remained deserted. I didn’t mind; I preferred it this way.

I dropped my bag to my feet, sitting on one of the swings too small for me.

I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. I frowned, pulling it out. Barely anyone had my number, and none of those people would text me at this time.

I looked at the screen, not recognizing the number.

I clicked the message open.

My heart beat quickened considerably.

‘I’ve got a reward for you, Danny. Let’s meet back here at midnight tonight. I’ll be watching the swings.’