Arranged.

Everything was set for the wedding, and now all we had to do was to wait an hour until the actual thing began. I’ve been sitting in this one particular room for the majority of the morning, not seeing any of the guests or even the preparations.

Elsie helped pick some things out, but the majority of the work went to my mother and father; they had to make it presentable to the rest of the world’s leaders.

Last night Elsie and I spent apart. I did not quite realize how attached and how used to the boy I had already grown. It was hard for me to get to sleep without him, and the knowledge that he was not there beside me, about to roll over and cuddle with me unnerved with me.

I loved him, completely and the only thing that kept me from going to where I knew he was sleeping was the knowledge that we were going to be married tomorrow.

Now I was filled with pre-marital jitters, unable to keep my knee from bouncing up and down.

I heard a knock on the door. It was only once and I was surprised; Nentel and my parents were the only ones other than the person who was in charge of this whole wedding. The two of them just came in, not worrying about knocking.

I got up and answered the door, surprised when a flustered Elsie ran into the room.

“Ellie, baby, what’s wrong?” I asked, worried.

“I-I d-don’t w-wan-nt to d-do t-this!” He exclaimed in almost hysteria, tears in his eyes, clutching my shirt.

My eyes widened at him, worrying over him. “Come here, it’s alright.” I whispered the reassuring words, clutching the boy close to my chest and holding him there. He sobbed for a few minutes before he was able to speak once more.

My shirt was wet but I ignored it as Elsie looked up at me. “You s-said you’d n-never make me do anyt-thing I didn’t w-want to. I don’t w-want this.” He breathed out, staring at my shoulder rather than looking at me.

He was embarrassed, shamed by his words, but I refused to let my love look like that. “Ellie, I love you, no matter what.” I told him, leaning down to press my lips to his cheek. “I want to do whatever I can for you but…that is one thing that I cannot do.” I said, not wanting to hurt the fragile balance in the air.

Elsie froze in my arms.

“This is one thing that I have absolutely no power over, my love.” I told him, kissing his forehead tenderly and pulling him back into my arms. “We’re both equally bound by this. If I had the proper chance to really date you and this wasn’t arranged, I’d cancel everything right now, but…it’s not our choice.” I spoke, feeling helpless to make Elsie feel better and yet wanting him to feel better all the same.

The boy let out a soft whimper and clutched me closer, and I stood there, powerless to do anything but hold him.