Bittersweet Sundown

“Hey girl, where were you for so long?” Michelle asked, coming to sit by her side.

“I was just talking with Jimmy and Leana inside, guess we lost track of time,” she admitted half of the truth.

“Oh, we thought that you have escaped already,” Michelle laughed softly. Alcohol she had been consuming was starting to get to her. Ash found herself looking at Brian again and she couldn’t turn her gaze away.

“You like him, don’t you?” Michelle noticed where she was staring at, a small smile on her lips.

“What? No I don’t,” Ash tried to lie, looking away quickly.

“And who are you trying to deceive? Yourself? Look, Brian and I have decided to divorce and stay just as friends, so go for it. I know he likes you too,” she announced, looking rather happy than sad.

Ash turned her gaze back to Brian. He didn’t look happy but he wasn’t sad either, he looked same as earlier, thoughtful. And he was looking at Ash again, like trying to figure something out. She looked at Jimmy and Leana. They had their arms wrapped around each other and they were quietly talking. They looked so happy together, smiling and sharing small kisses.

“No, I can’t,” Ash said, standing up again.

She couldn’t take it anymore. It was too painful to hear, that now she even might have a chance with Brian. But she had made her decision and she couldn’t change it. She quickly walked to the bathroom and washed her face with cold water. Sighing, she stood up and watched from the mirror as water dripped down her face.

"Well, it's better to get it over with," she whispered to herself. She knew that she couldn't live with herself when she'd let down Jimmy now. It was better to let down herself.

After taking a deep breath, she opened the door and walked out, keeping her eyes down. She didn't expect to find someone in the hallway and almost ran in to him.

"I'm sorry," she apologized automatically before she even recognized it was Brian. He didn't say anything nor did he step aside. There was still that calculating look in his eyes.

"I know you hate me. Just let me pass and I'll be out of your life," Ash said, hiding her hurt behind anger. Brian stepped even closer, forcing her to back up, against the wall.

"I have never hated you," he said while laying his hands against the wall, on both sides of her head.

Ash just couldn't turn her gaze away. His brown eyes were hypnotizing her. Slowly, he leaned closer, never breaking their eye contact.

"I have liked you from the first moment I saw you standing in that crowd, your eyes closed and your head tilted back. You looked like an angel to me. And later, when I saw how awesome personality you have, I just fell for you. I'm sorry for these stupid things I've done. I was just so afraid of you. I've never felt anything close to this about anyone and it scared the hell out of me. I’m not good with strong feelings," Brian explained, stopping only inches away from her lips.

Ash was shocked to hear this, she couldn't even think about moving away. She could only think about how she wanted to kiss those sad looking lips, just once again, so temptingly close to her.

“Why did you left?” he asked softly, after a moment of silence. Finally, Ash turned her eyes down, to the Rev tattoo that was showing from his collar.

“I... I guess I panicked. I was scared that you’d hate me even more after what we did,” she muttered, keeping her eyes down.

“Well, I was hurt that you left. But I guess I could never really hate you,” Brian slipped his fingers under her chin and gently lifted her head up. She saw all kinds of emotions in his eyes, but passion was the strongest, she had no doubt about this.

"Damn you," she muttered before pressing her lips to his and entwining her hands ​around his neck.

Brian backed her up against the wall and passionately kissed back, lifting her up. Ash lifted her legs around his waist and he supported her by grabbing a hold of her ass. Feeling unbearable need to get closer, Ash moved her hands down his chest and under his shirt, lifting it up. Brian understood where it all would lead and pushed them off the wall. Somehow he managed to find some bedroom, not bothering to make sure witch one it was.

*****
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As quietly as she could, Ash tried to sneak out of the bed. She was already half dressed when Brian sat up.

"You're leaving? Again?" he asked, sounding disappointed.

"I have to. I'm sorry," she apologized, holding back her tears. Leaving now felt even harder than last time. It was hardest thing she'd ever done. Brian got up and stood behind her.

"Don't go," he entwined his arms around her, propping his cheek against her head. Ash stood still, allowing herself to enjoy his closeness one last time.

"I have to, Brian. I promised to Jimmy that I will make it all right again. I need to help him," she whispered at last, swallowing hard. Brian didn't say anything, he was trying to comprehend what Ash was meaning with it. Taking herself together, Ash stepped away from him and pulled her white shirt on, last piece of clothing she still had to put on.

"I'm sorry. Please take care of yourself," she whispered while stroking Brian's cheek gently.

A tear slipped down her own face, so she quickly gave him one last kiss and then ran out of the room. In the hallway, she wiped away any traces from tears and walked straight outside.

"Jimmy, we need go," she said, spotting him near the grill, talking with Zack. Hearing this, Jimmy got serious in an instant. He looked at Leana, sending her a wordless message with his eyes. Leana excused herself and came to stand with them.

“What’s going on?” Zack asked, noticing how serious all three were.

“Nothing much. I just have to go. You take care of yourself and Gena, okay?” Ash hugged him, not wanting him to know what really was going on.

Zack cast a suspecting gaze at Jimmy, who just smiled at his friend. Ash too forced a smile on her lips and stepped back. They walked back in and towards the front door. Passing the hallway, Ash couldn’t resist looking towards the room she was with Brian. She saw him coming out of the room, stopping when he saw them passing, his sad eyes locked on her. She smiled at him sadly, before running after Jimmy and Leana.