Bittersweet Sundown

Sitting at the end of the couch, Ash watched as Brian and Johnny played some video game. They were talking to each other, but soon it grew over to shouting and accusing each other of cheating.

“Is cheating even possible with PS3?” she questioned silently, turning towards Zack, who was sitting next to her. She hadn’t even heard that you can cheat with that console.

“Yes. But Brian is not cheating. Johnny’s just a lousy loser,” he said, turning his smiling gaze to her.

“Well, too bad for him then,” Ash snorted and took her iPod from the table, she needed her daily dose of music.

“You want to listen too?” she offered one of her earphones to Zack. He took it and scooted closer to her. Soon they were lounging at the couch, their sides tightly against each other. Zack was going through the playlist.

“Ooh, I like this one,” he said excitedly, stopping at Weatherman by +44.

“Really?” Ash was a little surprised at this. Usually everyone she knew didn’t like this kind of music. Or maybe she just didn’t know how to choose right friends.

“Yes. Well actually I have a friend who loved this song a while ago and I guess it just got stuck to me too,” he told her with a slightly sadder voice. Ash could tell that he was really missing his friends and family.

“I think I like your friend. What other bands and songs your friend likes?” she was curious.

“Hmm. Rev Theory, Breaking Benjamin, Three Days Grace, that kind of stuff,” he listed after thinking for a moment.

“Oh god, your friend is perfect. I really think that I should meet with that friend of yours. Is he beautiful?” Of course she didn’t mean it, she only wanted to pick on him a little.

“Yes, she is,” Zack said, eyeing her curiously.

“Damn. Maybe I should change my orientation,” Ash pretended to really think about it. She could see his face scrunch with doubt.

“I was just kidding you silly boy,” she announced with a smile and nudged him at the side.

“You are crazy,” he stated, smiling also.

“Don't you know that crazy is the new sane?” she laughed and leaned her head back.

It still amazed her how easy it was being with these guys, but especially with Val and Zack. Like she had known them years, instead of only hours. After that song ended, Zack started to go through the playlist again. He stopped again soon and Ash heard some unfamiliar guitar strings, shortly followed some singing that reminded more of a screeching.

“What the hell is that?” she asked puzzled, she didn’t have anything like that in her playlist.

​“Crazy Bird, look,” Zack turned her iPod so she could see on the screen. There was a video of an ugly bird playing guitar and sing-screaming.

“How did this get here?” Ash asked laughing.

“Your friend put it in here, remember? By the way, it looks like you Zack,” Jimmy laughed, landing on top of Ash. He was light as a feather.

“I’m so much better than this,” Zack protected himself.

“That’s definitely you man, you got thrown with a shoe once,” Jimmy added when the video ended, laughing hard.

“Hahaha. Oh, look, you’re here too,” Zack smirked at the beginning of next video. It was the same bird playing drums this time and screaming Michael Jackson’s Billie Jean. Jimmy only laughed to this. Next one was that bird with an electric guitar, just playing this time, without the screaming.

“And who’s that, Johnny?” Ash asked, thinking that it sure looked more like Brian, but she didn’t dare to say his name.

“That’s Brian, no question about it,” Jimmy beamed. He didn’t even hear anything, only saw the video.

“Yeah, only this bird plays better than him,” Zack mocked, laughing. Jimmy just disappeared, startling Ash a little with it. She wasn’t used to people just appearing and disappearing like that.

“Get used to it, he does it all the time. He doesn’t even bother to knock or ring the doorbell anymore, just appears beside you, no matter what you do or where you are,” Zack said, going on with her playlist inspection. Ash just nodded and leaned her head back again.

There was someone screaming suddenly, something about a fucking duck. Ash quickly looked at her iPod again. She’d never seen this video before either. Zack was laughing while she tried to understand what this video was about. It looked like Jimmy chasing some duck in the park.

“He really is insane, isn’t he?” she shook her head, making Zack laugh even more.

One of Avenged Sevenfold’s song game up next.

“Our song?” Zack beamed, turning his beautiful face towards Ash again.

“Yeah,” she smiled back, finding it impossible to stay serious when he seemed so happy. “Dani was practically forcing me to listen your songs the whole week I was with her. I even started to like some of them.”

“What’s your favorite from our songs?” he inquired, tilting his head a little.

“Mmm, I don’t know, I like Almost Easy and Lost. And Unbound. And A Little Piece Of Heaven always makes me laugh. Oh and I like one of the new ones but I don’t remember the name,” she smiled to him. He seemed surprised she liked so many of their songs.

“Do you remember any of the words?” he asked her.

“Was it something like ‘I have so much to say but you’re so far away’?” she questioned. She wasn’t sure those were the exact words.

“That’s So Far Away. Brian wrote it to Jimmy. They have been best friends since childhood,” Zack explained, sounding a little sadder. Ash looked at Brian, who didn’t seem to pay any attention to their conversation but she could see his face fall also, he just tried to hide it.

“It’s a very beautiful song,” she turned her gaze away from Brian cause he got up from the floor and she didn’t wanna get caught by him.

“Yes it is. So why did you come with us?” Zack asked, handing her a can of energy drink from the table.

“Because of Jimmy. And Val,” Ash answered him, not thinking much about it. She couldn’t say no to Jimmy cause she really liked him and he was so happy to be finally be able to talk to somebody else than his limited group of friends. If she didn’t ​already have a plan to travel this way, then maybe she would have said no.

“Yeah right, I’m sure it didn’t have anything to do with us being famous,” Brian muttered bitterly, not even looking at her.

“No, it didn’t. If you remember, I didn’t even want to come with you. And maybe, if you could get your super-size ego out of your ass, then you could see that there are people who don’t care if you’re famous or not,” Ash exploded. She’d had enough of his ugly remarks he had thrown at her for the whole day. Why he had to be such an asshole? All the others were able to talk to her like a normal person would.

“I’m sure you care,” he smirked evilly.

“Oh yeah, like you would be the first famous person I have the luck to talk to. For your information, I have a very good friend who’s famous, but I don’t see the reason why I would have to tell everyone about it,” she was loosing her patience. He was so damn full of himself.

“Like I’m gonna believe that,” Brian snorted, crossing his arms on his muscular chest.

“I don’t care what you believe or not. You are so childish,” Ash laughed. On the inside she was close to boiling.

“Bri, let it go. You don’t have to be such an ass,” Zack tried to get him to back down. But of course Brian couldn’t do that.

“If she can prove it, then I’ll leave her alone,” he promised with a victorious grin. He didn’t believe her. It seemed that Ash needed to get her friend in LA tomorrow after all.

“Well, maybe I’ll prove it tomorrow then, if my friend has some time to make one asshole believe me. I’m not gonna beg him just because you want me to,” she growled darkly. She just couldn’t let it go. Something about Brian irritated her to the guts.

“If he’s not at our show tomorrow, then I’ve won and you are a star struck bitch,” Brian accused her, looking at her with disgust.

“Like I care what you think, Mr. Ego,” she laughed but inside she felt disappointed and hurt. She did care what he thought and him not liking her didn’t feel good at all.

“Okay kids, that’s enough, both of you. Just stop,” Zack said angrily. He’d had enough of their bitching. Ash looked hatefully at Brian but didn’t say anything. She couldn't resist sticking her tongue out at him.

"Don’t stick your tongue out unless you plan to use it," he said before getting up and storming away.

“Don’t let him get to you like this. He’s having a bad period in his life now and tends to live it out on others,” Zack advised. Ash knew he was right but for some reason, everything Brian said, mattered. And he made her so angry.

“I’m sorry, it’s so rude of me to say such things. I should be grateful to you. And I am. It’s so much more fun to travel with you than it would be on a regular bus,” she apologized to Zack, feeling bad for what he said to Brian. She really had to be more polite. At least try to be.

“No, don’t worry, it’s not entirely your fault. He’s being way ruder than you and it’s only natural reaction to defend yourself,” he reasoned, smiling to her.

​“But I still should hold my mouth shut around him,” Ash muttered, looking at her hands in her lap.

“Don’t worry. Just ignore him as best as you can. Want something to eat?” Zack asked, obviously getting enough of her apologizing.

“Not really. But it depends on what you’re offering,” she said, looking at him with a smile on her face.

“Actually I don’t know. Let’s go and see,” he got up and reached out his hand for her. Ash grabbed it and let him pull her up.

“How can you not be hungry? It’s three pm already and I haven’t seen you eat anything today yet,” he wondered, looking at the girl.

“I don’t know. I’m just not hungry yet. I got that huge cup of coffee in the morning, guess that has a part in this,” Ash didn’t want to tell him that besides her sleeping problems, her eating habits were totally messed up too. She never got hungry before five pm on these days.

“You do know that coffee is not good for you, don’t you,” Zack mentioned when they reached the fridge.

“You do know that smoking is not good for you, don’t you,” she quarreled back, making him shut up.

Ash loved coffee, no matter what some crazy ass scientist were saying about it. She didn’t care anymore what some doctors said because there was always someone who said exact opposite about the same subject.

“Hey guys, what’s up?” Val asked, stopping right beside them.

“Looking something to eat. Do you know that she hasn’t eaten anything today?” Zack asked Val, turning to look at her.

“What? Are you mad?” she huffed at Ash, not even waiting for an answer.

“We’re stopping at the next diner,” Val said to Zack and walked away, towards the front of the bus.

“You don’t have to stop because of me,” Ash told Zack.

“I’m afraid that you don’t have any say about this. If Val decides something then that’s it. Besides, I don’t have anything against a decent meal,” he announced and went to sit down on a couch again. Ash followed him and sat between him and Matt, who was trying to untangle some chain but obviously failed. His fingers were too big for this job.

“Let me help you with this,” Ash reached out her hand and Matt placed that chain on it. He seemed to be relieved that someone offered help. It was a beautiful silver chain with a skull charm. And it was totally knotted up. But after two minutes of trying, she got it loose and handed back to Matt.

“Here you go,” she said, letting go of the chain. “It’s beautiful”.

“Thanks Ash. You like silver jewelry?” he asked, putting that chain around his neck.

“Yes, I love it. I don’t like gold at all. Only silver or steel,” Ash told him, spinning her steel ring around her finger.

“In that case, wait a sec,” he said, got up and left, only to return a minute later.

“Here you go. It’s for you,” he handed Ash some chains with charms, three to be exact. Two of them were bats with colorful stone eyes, one purple and other blue, and third was a skull with green eyes. Ash was torn between that skull and a bat ​with purple eyes, choosing later at last.

“They’re all for you,” Matt said, handing her all of them.

“Awesome. Thanks Matt,” she smiled happily to him, making him show those dimples too. She took that purple eyed bat and attached it to her neck, still smiling all the time.

“Welcome to the Deathbat Army,” Jimmy beamed, appearing in front of her.

“Huh?” Ash grunted, not getting what he meant with it.

“The Deathbat Army, you’re now part of it,” he said, pointing at the chain around her neck.

“What’s a Deathbat Army?” she asked from Zack, leaning closer to him and eyeing Jimmy suspiciously.

“Our true fans who wear our merchandise,” he explained, smiling to her.

“Ooh,” she mumbled, not finding anything else to say.

“That’s Brian’s favorite,” Jimmy told her, sitting by her side, where just moments ago Matt was. She didn’t even notice when he left.

“It is? Then I should change it. I don’t want to irritate him with anything,” Ash wanted to remove the chain but Jimmy stopped her by grabbing her hands in his.

“Let it be. It looks perfect with that green in your hair,” he said happily.

Bus was stopping and Val came towards them.

“Okay sweetie, let’s get some nutrients to this gorgeous body of yours,” she said, grabbing Ash’s arm and dragging her out of the bus.

She could see Brian, Matt, Mike and Johnny already walking towards the door of some regular looking diner. Zack ran after them with Jason and they followed others inside. They found a table large enough to fit all of them and after sitting down, Ash found herself right across from Brian. He was staring at the bat necklace around her neck. She felt chills going through her body from fear that he was gonna make some nasty remark again. But he stayed quiet and just stared at her chest, deep in thoughts. He didn’t even notice that she was looking at him.

“Ash, what are you taking?” Val broke her attention and she turned away.

“Huh?” she asked her, not quite sure what Val had said.

“What are you taking?” Val laughed, casting one short gaze at Brian. She had obviously figured it out that Ash kind of liked Brian. Ash was glad she wasn’t mad at her. After all, Brian had a wife and he was off limits for her anyway.

“I don’t know. What are you taking?” Ash asked back, trying to find a menu somewhere.

“Pancakes with ice cream,” Val smiled, handing her the menu.

“Ooh, do you have blueberry pancakes?” Ash asked from the waitress, without even looking at the menu.

“Not really but we should have some blueberries and I believe we could put some to your pancakes,” an older blond woman smiled friendly at her.

“That would be awesome. I love blueberry pancakes,” Ash beamed with happiness. “Could I get a Coke also? Thank you”. After writing up almost all others orders, the waitress turned to Brian.

“Could I have those blueberry pancakes too?” he asked, giving that waitress one of his beautiful smiles. She nodded and wrote it down.

​“And a beer, please,” Brian told her and then turned to look at Ash again. She was shocked when he smiled at her too. She was totally lost now.

The waitress left and others started to talk to each other, seemingly not noticing their staring contest. Someone asked something from Brian and he looked away, unwillingly it seemed. Ash used this moment and turned to Val, who was sitting next to her.

“Where are we?” she asked, looking out the window but didn’t see any sign or name.

“In Utah, some small place called Green River,” Val said, taking a sip of her drink that waitress just placed on the table.

“Do we have a long road to go?” Ash continued to ask her. She was deliberately avoiding looking at Brian again.

“Less than half the road, about ten hours I think,” Val guessed, looking thoughtful.

Food arrived and Ash concentrated on eating, lost in her head again. She was puzzled from that change in Brian’s behavior. All though she was damn sure it was only temporary. After what he said to her earlier, he couldn’t just change his mind about her so suddenly. Maybe he was playing with her, she thought, trying to make her think that she’s off the hook, so he could push her down even harder. Well, she could play that game too.

On the way back to bus, Ash stayed back, reaching for Val’s arm, so she would stay with her. Val glanced an interested look at her but stayed and waited for guys to get out of hearing distance.

“I guess you figured out that I kind of like Brian,” Ash started, getting nervous for some reason. Val nodded her head, not saying anything.

“I just wanted to say that you don’t have to worry. I know he’s married and off limits for me. And he hates me anyway. Besides, I don’t do married men, I do have some dignity,” she tried to explain, feeling kind of silly actually for caring what some practically stranger to her thought of her.

“Oh, I’m not worrying. At least until the two of you don’t give me a reason to worry. You can like who ever you want, you know that right?” Val laughed, taking this surprisingly easy. Ash guessed she was right, it’s not a crime to like someone, taking action towards that someone is.

Brian kept his good side ‘til the evening and Ash found it hard to keep up her defenses when he was friendly like that. But something in his eyes told her she was right. So when most of them went to sleep at last, she took her phone and dialed a number she hadn’t used for months now. It was late but she knew he was probably still up.

“Well look who’s suddenly remembering her old friend,” a deep voice answered after third ring.

“You know I would call more often when it wouldn’t cause you trouble every single time, mister,” Ash told him sadly. His wife didn’t like her and raised a problem every time she found out Ash had called her husband.

“And you know that I don’t care if she yells at me. How are you Kitty?” he asked, using her old nickname he came up with years ago.

“Honestly? I don’t know. Good I guess. Without a work right now, but I’ll be fine,” Ash said, sighing at the thought.

​“What happened?” he inquired, getting serious in an instant.

“You know my boss was harassing me, and it got a lot worse so I quit my job. Right now I’m on my way to LA. And that’s the reason I’m calling, I was hoping you could come to LA tomorrow. I’d really like to see you,” she confessed, smiling to herself. Val was looking at her, eyes glistening with curiosity.

“You have something special in mind?” Ash’s friend asked, she could hear laughter in his voice.

“Well, I was thinking about going to Avenged Sevenfold concert,” she told him, smiling back at Val.

“What am I missing here? You don’t go to crowded places,” he questioned right away, knowing her anxiety problems.

“Well, I can stay backstage this time,” she beamed happily, not bothering to hide it from Val.

“Oh, I see. Tomorrow? Well I guess I can drag my ass there. I haven’t done anything crazy for a while now,” he laughed. “Where exactly is it?”

“Hey Val, where is this concert tomorrow?” Ash asked her, she couldn’t remember herself.

“Nokia Theatre,” Val said, visibly burning with curiosity. Ash forwarded this info to her friend, ignoring Val’s drilling stares.

“Well, I guess we’ll be seeing tomorrow Kitty-Cat,” he agreed to come. Ash really missed him and couldn’t wait to see him at last. It had been almost two years from the last time they met in person.

“I can give you some backstage passes,” Val informed, leaning closer to her.

“Really?” Ash asked and she nodded eagerly.

“Hey B, will you bring some friends with you?” she asked from her friend, watching how Val tried to put some pieces together.

“Probably. Why you’re asking?” he inquired.

“Well, my friend here offered some backstage passes,” Ash mentioned alluringly.

“Nice. Could you get me like four? I think my brother would like to come too, he likes that band,” he said happily.

“I’ll try. I can’t wait to see you,” she said, really meaning it.

“Me either. We’ve been missing your crazy ass here. Love you babe,” he told her. Ash could hear that feeling in his voice.

“Love you too Tiger,” she admitted, ending the call. Some memories from that part of her life flooded her mind.

“Who were you talking to?” Val asked the second she hung up the phone.

“A friend of mine,” Ash evaded on purpose. She was planning on holding that secret till tomorrow evening. She wasn’t sure if her friend was famous enough for Brian and she didn’t want to give him a chance to mock her before he gets there.

“That famous one you promised to prove to Brian?” Val didn’t give up.

“Yes, that famous one,” she nodded, not adding anything else.

“What’s his name? Do I know him?” Val continued, unable to sit still.

“His name starts with a B, as you know already. And I don’t know if you know him or not but you have to wait till tomorrow to find out,” Ash said, smiling at her, set on her decision.

​“Ugh, I hate not knowing”, she muttered but stopped pressuring her. “How many passes do you need in addition to yours?”

“He said four but I’m sure it’s okay if you can’t give us so much,” Ash said shyly. She didn’t feel good about asking her so much.

“Oh, don’t worry. We have that much left,” Val informed her, smiling at her reassuringly.

“Thank you Val”, Ash hugged her gently.

“No problem. I’ll go to sleep too, sweet dreams Ash,” Val wished and then walked to the bunks, climbing up, next to his husband. Ash didn’t get how they fit together in such a small space.

“So you’re keeping your famous friend a secret, huh?” Jimmy asked, landing his butt next to hers.

“Yes”, Ash answered him, leaning back on the couch. She was surprisingly tired today and it was only eleven pm.

“Why?”

“Because I’m not sure my friend is famous enough for Brian. He’s not some kind of high class rock star like you guys,” she confessed quietly.

“If he’s been over the media and we know something about him then it’s gonna be enough,” Jimmy consoled her, hugging her with one arm. It had become a habit of his, always sneaking his arm around her shoulders. Ash found it kind of cool actually. She tried to hide her yawn but Jimmy saw it anyway.

“You seem kind of tired today,” he mentioned, looking down at her with a smile.

“I am. I don’t know how but I am. I haven’t been able to fall to sleep before three am for at least two months. Guess I am finally tired enough,” she mumbled, leaning her head onto Jimmy’s shoulder.

“It’s about time. You should go to sleep,” Jimmy said, helping her to get up.

“You’re right. I’m sorry that I’m not able to keep you company today,” Ash apologized feeling kind of sad that he had to be up by himself when all the others were sleeping.

“Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. I’ll just go and hold Leana in my arms. Or find something stupid to do,” he promised, helping her out of her hoodie. Ash felt really tired all of a sudden, it was weird.

“Thank you Jimmy,” she thanked him when he was holding her up ‘til she got out of her jeans. After that Jimmy helped her under the blankets and kissed her forehead, like he had done the night before.