Bittersweet Sundown

“No! You can’t do this to me! You can’t leave me here alone. You just can’t,” Ash screamed angrily, tears pouring down her face and blurring her vision. The person in front of her didn’t move, he didn’t hear her, no matter how hard she cried.

“You promised me…I hate you! You hear me? I hate you!” she kept on screaming, feeling her insides tear apart. She wanted to run away, get as far from him as she could but her legs didn’t move an inch. She could only cry harder, falling down to her knees.

“Ashlee! Come on, get out of it,” someone tried to lift her up, shaking her pretty hard. She could hear her teeth clattering against each other.

“Ashlee! Stop that crying and get up! Wake up dammit,” Ash now recognized that voice. Forcing her eyes open, she found herself in a dark bus. She was only having a dream, a nightmare. Her cheeks were wet from shed tears, her breathing uneven. And remembering her dream made her only cry again. This time for real.

“Ash, what is it? It was only a bad dream.” Not knowing what to do, Brian sat beside her and took her in his arms, asking why she was crying.

“What happened?” Val asked with a voice full of concern, appearing in front of them. But Ash could only shake her head to let her know she wasn’t able to talk now.

“I’ll make her a cup of tea,” Val said to Brian and then disappeared somewhere.

There was no way for Ash to answer them, she was having trouble even breathing. Soon Val came back with a steaming cup of tea . She placed it at the table beside them and left, probably going back to sleep.

Ash didn’t know how long Brian had held her or how long she cried, but finally she was able to at least calm down a little. There were still tears running down her face but she had stopped sobbing. She could now feel Brian’s hand stroking her head, ever so gently, and he was humming some tune, almost inaudibly, only for her to hear. After a while he stayed quiet and then inched away from her. All this calmness he gave her shattered and Ash felt panic rising again.

“Please stay,” she begged, her voice harsh and trembling, tears ready to burst out again. He sighed but didn’t move farther away.

“Fine. You have to drink some of this tea Val made for you or you’re gonna have a dehydration by morning,” Brian said, handing her now almost cold cup. She took it and drank it all at once, afraid that when she stalled too long, he’d go away.

“Can we at least lie down? I don’t know how much longer I can keep my eyes open,” he said quietly, waiting for her response. Not trusting her voice, Ash just nodded her head, hoping that he would see it, despite the darkness around them. After that Brian climbed beside her and pulled the blanket over them.

Ash felt awfully weird, not daring to hug him any more. It was already too much for asking him to stay. But then he sneaked his arm underneath her head and pulled her close, almost lifting her on top of him. They didn’t have much room on the couch and ​Ash didn’t want to push him over the edge, so she laid her head on his chest and tried to calm her beating heart down.

“Thank you,” she whispered, not daring to move herself.

“Try to go back to sleep. I’ll keep your nightmares away,” Brian said, hugging her even closer. Ash couldn’t see his face but she could swear his voice sounded just a little smug.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Ash woke up to Brian whispering to someone.

“We only wanna see that,” someone whispered back, trying to lift Ash’s shirt higher. She didn’t move or acknowledged them any way. She was feeling too damn comfortable.

“Don’t wake her up, she had a tough night,” Brian protested, pushed someones hand away from her and pulled their blanket over them again, covering her up ‘til her shoulders. Ash could hear unhappy mutters and steps moving away from them.

“We’re going to get some breakfast, sure you don’t want to come?” they heard Val whispering almost unheard.

“No, we’re alright. You can bring us something back if you wish,” Brian said, turning slightly towards the girl next to him. His arm was under her neck and when Val walked away, he slid his other hand over her belly. Ash couldn’t resist the urge to move closer to him.

“I had forgotten how good it feels to be held like this,” she whispered, not knowing if Brian was still up or already sleeping again.

“What? Your man won’t hold you like this?” he asked, surprised.

“He did, at first, but now he’ll only touch me when he wants sex. It’s been like that for almost two years now,” Ash told him, not even knowing why she was trusting this to Brian.

“Is he cheating on you or what?” Brian asked, leaning his cheek against her head.

“I hope not. I’m sorry for bothering you with my troubles,” she whispered quietly, regretting that she even said all this. Based on his yesterday’s behavior, he’d only use this against her.

“Nah, don’t fret. Everyone has their dark days. Or nights on your case,” he said, shifting a little without letting go of her.

“I guess I should tell you what it was all about,” Ash wanted to let him know how much him being here meant to her.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Brian told her, stroking absentmindedly the side of her stomach with his thumb.

“No, I want you to know that it means a lot for me that you didn’t leave me alone last night. It was the hardest time I’ve had since I was nineteen,” Ash admitted, feeling goosepimples appearing all over her body, for just thinking about what happened six years ago. He didn’t say anything, instead he hugged her even tighter and waited for her to continue.

“About six years ago I went through a very painful tragedy and since last night, I hadn’t been able to even cry or get my emotions out any other way. But that dream I had, it brought all those feelings back and I guess I just couldn’t take it anymore. So, thank you, Brian, for being here for me,” Ash explained, fighting with tears ​that threatened to spill out again. Seemed it was easy to cry now when she had gotten over that first dam.

“I’m glad if I could help,” Brian said, sounding kind of sleepy.

Ash didn’t have any clue what time would be but it had to be late already. To her surprise, even she felt that she could nap a little more. That crying had really got her tired. So she closed her eyes and turned her head a little, feeling Brian’s shoulder against her cheek, and tried to drift off again. She wanted to get every minute of sleep she was able cause she was sure her insomnia wasn’t over just like that.

“Brian? What the fuck?” they were woken by sudden screaming. Ash opened her eyes to see a beautiful woman standing in front of the couch. Brian jerked up, pushing her to the floor by accident.

“Shit. What are you doing here?” he asked from that woman, helping Ash up at the same time. But as soon as she was standing on her own, he quickly let go of her.

“Do I need a permission to visit my husband now?” the woman demanded, looking pointedly at Ash when saying the word ‘husband’. And then it all came clear to Ash. She was Brian’s wife. She knew she should have trusted her instincts earlier and got up. Now he got Brian in trouble because of her weakness.

“It’s not what you think, baby,” Brian tried to say but was cut off before he could even finish.

“Oh don’t give me that shit. How could you? And in front of everyone,” she continued to scream at him.

“Chelle, please listen, she had a really bad dream last night and I only tried to get her to calm down. I must have fallen asleep here,” Brian explained, looking desperate. When Brian pointed to Ash, Chelle turned her gaze to her also, looking pretty pissed. Ash felt scared by her, she was fuming.

“He’s telling the truth. I did have a nightmare and he helped me get over it,” she said. It wasn’t fair if Brian got in trouble for just helping her.

“Michelle? What are you doing here?” Val came back to bus, surprised to see that woman in here.

“Why everybody keeps asking that? I’m catching my husband cheating on me, that’s what I’m doing here. Did you know about this?” she now turned to Val, quite accusingly.

“Baby, I’m not cheating on you,” Brian said desperately. He was in deep shit now. Every woman would find it hard to believe when she’d find her husband holding another woman in his arms.

“Yes I did know. And no, they didn’t do anything like that. Ash was totally upset at night and we couldn’t get her to calm down. Only thing that seemed to help a little, was Bri just holding her. She was in a total hysteria,” Val told Michelle, not backing up under her glare.

“And I should believe that. You’re in it too, aren’t you? I can’t believe this,” Michelle raged on, getting angrier by the minute.

“Well, I’m sorry to see that my own sister doesn’t trust me,” Val said bitterly, coming to stand by Ash’s side.

Michelle looked at Ash, thinking about what she heard. There was doubt in her eyes. Brian seemed to know that look because he sat ​down on the couch, sighing deeply and grabbed his head between his arms. Ash couldn’t stand all these problems happening because of her.

“Hey, Michelle, right? Can I talk to you for a minute? Alone?” she begged, looking bravely at her, not even flinching when she turned her hateful stare at her again.

She couldn’t back down now, she needed to make this right. Michelle looked at her in silence, taking in her appearance, then nodded after a while. Ash knew she looked horrible, she could feel how bloated her eyes were from all that crying. After pulling on her jeans and sneakers and ignoring others curious stares, she walked by Michelle and walked out of the bus. Michelle followed, keeping some distance between them. Ash saw some bench away from the bus and walked over there. After sitting down, she motioned Michelle to do the same.

“I don’t know how to start, I haven’t told this to anybody I’ve met in last six years,” she started, not knowing how she could tell her all she wanted.

“Then why are you telling me?” Michelle asked confused.

“Because last night was the hardest I’ve had since that day six years ago and without Brian, I don’t know if I would’ve survived it. I am so grateful to him for just being there for me, for holding me in one piece. It's unfair for him to get in trouble for this. And I want you to know why I needed someone so bad,” she explained sadly. Michelle didn’t say anything to this and Ash prepared to tell her story.

“Okay. I had a brother, a twin, and we were unbelievably close. We were the most important persons to each other. But one day I had this terrible feeling and I couldn’t get a hold of him and when mom came home at last, eyes red from crying, I knew what had happened. She didn’t even have to say anything... Kyle died in a car accident... I was in so deep shock that I wasn’t even able to cry, I was like zombie for months. I didn’t even go to his funeral... But last night I had a dream about his funeral, and I was screaming at him and crying. And all those feelings I’ve been trying to bury deep inside of me, came back and I just exploded... I miss him so much,” Ash said, a lonely tear making his way down her cheek. Michelle stayed quiet, looking straight in front of her.

“I can’t imagine my life without Val,” she said after a while, turning to look at Ash. “And I understand why Brian did what he did, crying women are his weakness. Guess I can’t blame him for that. But I am keeping an eye on you missy, there’s no way you’re getting your hands on my husband again,” she threatened. Ash couldn’t tell how seriously she meant it. It seemed like Michelle still didn’t know if she could totally believe her or not.

“Don’t worry. I don’t do married men,” Ash told her seriously. She had no intention on causing Brian any more problems.

“Okay, I hope you keep to your words. But don’t think you will get away with it easily when I should find out that you lied to me,” Michelle threatened again, only this time Ash could see the tiniest smile, hiding at the corner of her lips.

“Sure, I’m keeping that in mind,” she wanted to smile at her too but was afraid that then she wouldn’t take her seriously.

“We should go back before everyones necks get sore from peeking out the window,” Michelle said, trying to keep her serious face. Ash glanced towards the bus and sure enough there was at least eight head’s crammed at one small window, ​trying to keep an eye on them.

“Do they really think that we would get in to a fight with each other?” Ash asked unbelievably, feeling her puffed eyes hurt from forcing them to look so far.

“It appears they do,” she muttered, obviously not happy with it.

“Wanna give them a show?” Ash asked, with a little smirk, turning her face away from the bus. Michelle turned sharply to look at her and then smiled.

“Sure. Let’s see how fast they get out here,” she agreed, stood up and started to flail her hands in front of Ash, like she would be jellying at her. Ash got up too and pushed her lightly. Michelle stepped back like it was a strong push, then lunged at her, grabbing her hands full of Ash’s short hair.

“Let’s fall down”, she said and Ash went down with her.

When on ground, Ash fake slapped her, Michelle turned her head just at the right moment, it looked so real. And then Michelle was suddenly lifted off from Ash. She jumped up in to a defending position while Michelle was struggling to get out of Brian’s grip. With a face as angry as she could manage, Ash started towards Michelle but she couldn’t get closer than two steps. Next moment she was lifted up too, by Zack.

“What the hell are you thinking?” Matt yelled at both of them. Michelle and Ash watched at each other for a second and then burst out laughing. Everyone looked at them like they had suddenly two heads with fluffy blue bunny ears. Zack and Brian let the girls go in shock. It was Jimmy who smiled first.

“They tricked us. They deliberately deceived us,” he laughed, lifting both of his hands in front of them for a high five. The three of them slammed their hands together and then walked back to the bus, leaving all the others behind, staring at them with a shocked expressions.

“That was awesome girls. I’ve never seen Brian move so fast before,” Jimmy laughed when they sat down on the couch.

“Well, that’s what you get when staring at us so visibly,” Michelle snickered, crossing her arms on her chest.