Get Your Finger on the Trigger

Mikey’s POV
I felt my tired feet leading me, step by step down the corridor that still smelt sickly of antiseptic. All the thick white doors were marked by golden plaques with elegant black lettering. The walls were a ghastly tint of green that just added to the fake and unnerving sense that this hallway was portraying. My fingers were interlocked with Frank’s and I could feel due to the tension in the surrounding air that the pair of us were thinking the exact same thought; what if there’s complications waking him up. I’d had countless nurses and doctors telling me I needn’t worry so much about my brother and that ninety percent of the time there’d be no problems with regaining consciousness and even when there was they could normally help them out quickly. None of these attempted words of comfort calmed either mine or Frank’s nerves about the situation though. Ray didn’t seem nervous but I suspected he was keeping a cover up to protect me and Frank. He’d had to be the strong one out of all of us since Gerard had came back that night… I followed Doctor Jackson down to Gerard’s room which was sadly unfamiliar. I’d never seen it; he’d been too ill. We were here to see him wake up then be trained about his medication and caught up to date; then finally around two pm we could take him home. I snapped myself out of my little flashback when I heard the door to Gee’s room click open and Frank’s grip on my bony fingers tighten.
The inside of the room was grim, but the sight of my brother laid upon the bed was repugnant. He seemed so frail and helpless. He was as pale as my crippled and twisted bones, and an IV was taped into the back of his hand. Dr Jackson strolled over to the bulky machinery, examining all the flashing numbers and lines. I felt my eyes glued to Gerard’s broken body and Frank pick up my cold hand. The doctor walked over to a closet and took out a syringe and a capsule of pink solution. He peeled off a tiny tinfoil seal and screwed the capsule onto the syringe. I walked round to Gerard’s side and sat down, holding his cold hand. Doctor Jackson took out one of the IV tubes and slid the syringe into Gerard’s arm, releasing the chemicals into his bloodstream. “He should be awake within twenty minutes. A nurse should check every ten minutes.” He announced before he left the room. Frank sat down on the side of Gerard’s bed. Ray was stood by the doorway watching us worry over Gee. I guess in Ray’s head Gee was always going to be okay; that’s why me and Frankie had gone half mad – we’d always thought the worst would happen to Gee rather than that it’d all run smoothly. A couple of minutes passed before I felt something twitch against my hand. I felt a smile tug at the corners of my chapped lips and held Gerard’s hand tighter. Frank looked over to me with curious eyes but I just grinned at him and stared at Gerard’s face waiting for his eyes to open. It was an odd sensation, waiting for eyes you’d seen every day of your childhood and most of your adult life to open again. Ray walked over and hunched beside me, rubbing my back but watching Gee just as intently as I was. It felt like hours before the heart monitor picked up slightly and seemed healthier.
I watched Gerard’s eyes flicker open and gaze around the room, before he blinked and his hands flew to his eyes to hide the bright lights, grumbles rushing from his throat. I threw my arms around my big brother and cried softly. Ray walked off to find Doctor Jackson to say that Gee’d woken up. I clung helplessly to Gee as his arms limply patted my back. Doctor Jackson came in then so I sunk back into my seat, still crying from happiness. I couldn’t expect a fantastic wake up from a coma like the movies from Gerard because he wouldn’t speak. All I felt lately was that I was loosing him… I felt tears start to fall from my eyes and had to leave the room to stop myself breaking down. I sniffled and sobbed in the corridor trying to calm myself down. I wanted my brother back… I couldn’t cope with having him like an infant anymore when I did understand how upset he was… I heard the door swing and shut from Gerard’s room so I looked up to see Ray. He ruffled my hair and sat down next to me.
“What’s up Mikey?” He asked.
“I can’t do this anymore… Seeing my bro so ill, so unlike his normal self. I need to get away from here Ray… Just for a break; I dunno how long… I just need to get away.” I mumbled, wiping away the fresh tears.
“How about we book you a week in Florida or something? Get you a break to cool off… Me and Frank would be fine with him for a week and you’d be fine by the time the week was up I bet…” Ray suggested. I felt guilty and mean but I’d be no help if I got ill too.
“That could be nice I guess… Are you sure you’d be okay?” I asked, still doubtful.
“We’d be fine Mikey. Just get yourself back to happy hyper Mikey and we’ll get Gerard back.” He cooed to me. “Now go say bye to your brother while I book you some tickets!!”
I thanked Ray profusely and walked into the room. Gerard was propped up against some pillows listening to Frank. I walked in and mumbled a quick hi. “Ehm guys I’ve got some news… It was Ray’s idea… I need to go blow some steam… Seeing Gerard so downs killing me so Ray suggested I take a trip down to Florida for a week to cool off...” I explained. Frank hugged me and agreed that I needed some time but I saw Gerard’s face drop from the corner of my eye. I shot him the brotherly looks we shared that I hoped said what’s wrong, but his face hardened and he turned so he wasn’t looking at me. I sighed to myself and asked Frank if I could have some time with my brother. He nodded, smiling and walked out of the room so I could talk to Gee. I walked over to him but he turned around, glaring at me with an expression of hurt and anger. I felt something tug at my heartstrings. I felt like utter shit doing this to Gerard but Ray was totally right, I could help Gerard if I wasn’t okay myself. I took his hand in mine but he snatched it away angrily,
“Mikey! Why! Why are you leaving me!? I need you… I’ll be good I promise I’ll talk, I’ll seem fine I’ll be strong! You promised you’d stay by me through it all Mikey! You promised me!! Do you just hate me? Want someone more normal?! I don’t get it Mikey!” He cried heatedly at me. I tried to comfort him and tell him how much it wasn’t that but he wasn’t having any of it. His fist collided with my nose, then he kept hitting me over and over: in the eye, the ribs, the nose, the stomach… All over me was burning and I let out a yelp which seemed to suck him back into reality, staring at the blood leaking from my nose and lip now and he let out a surprised gasp. I backed away, feeling threatened. He started to say sorry but I sobbed at him not to bother and grabbed my coat, quickly running out the room. Ray and Frank turned around to see me running with blood running down my chin. They looked worried but I walked up to Ray and demanded the information for the flight which he sighed and gave me. I thanked him bluntly and drove home in a fury, starting to pack up my things. I found a big duffel bag under my bed and filled it with t-shirts, shorts, skinnies, shoes, beanies and underwear. I grabbed a shoulder bag and threw in my passport and the tickets I’d just printed off my laptop from my email address. I pulled out my wallet planning to take a lot of money off my credit card on the way to the airport. I chucked my phone into the bag and grabbed my laptop case and my bass. I pulled my duffel bag so it could rest on both my shoulders and rested my bag and laptop case on opposite sides of my body. I threw my bass so it sat on top of my duffel bag awkwardly. I headed down the road and took the money off my card, stuffing it in my pocket. I walked to the airport since it was pretty damn close and texted Alicia, telling her I was going to Florida and I couldn’t go out with her anymore.
When I got to the airport I checked in and handed my bass and duffel bag to the lovely lady at the desk. She smiled at me and wished me a good flight. When I headed through security I saw a gorgeous red leather jacket and a bandana. I bought them both since I hadn’t packet a coat and pulled it on straight away, then wrapping the bandana around my neck. I bought a couple of books and toiletries because I’d hurried packing. I shoved them into my day bag and headed through to the waiting room. I sat, swinging my legs back and forth when a little girl who looked about five ran over. She had waist length, pale blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes. She asked if I was going to see my mummy and daddy which made me start crying hysterically. The little girl stared at me, dumbfounded and her mother rushed over apologising and leading her away, scolding her. I had no family to go to… My brother was gone, and my parents had disowned me… I was alone.