I Keep on Running

“Reese, how long are we staying in Chicago for?” I ask, looking over at the short woman next to me who was looking through her closet.
She aimlessly threw clothes left and right on top of her messy bed set. “Well, we come in the day after they perform in Chicago. They end up having a day to themselves, so we'll be there for that whole day and leave the following morning.”
Judging by the amount of clothes she had on her bed, it seemed to me she planned on moving there. I quirked an eye at her. “You sure? You have an awful lot of clothes accumulating on your bed right now.”
“I know!” She exclaims, throwing her hands in the air in defeat. “I just don't know what to bring, what to where, where we're going, what they have planned--”
“Okay, okay, I get it! It's simple: we're there for two days and one night, technically speaking. Therefore you should have one outfit for flight or for walking around there, an outfit just in case Danny has something romantic planned for you, pajamas and then another outfit for the next day. It's not that hard, Theresa.”
I chuckle at her as I shake my head back and forth, turning away from her pile of clothes.
She sighs with relief. “Where would I be without you?”
“Under an avalanche of cotton,” I tease.
She laughs at me before turning to her bed and finally trying to sort through all her clothes.

In the distance, Scarlett begins to cry from her crib, which made Theresa sigh harshly. Lately, she's been exhausted without the aid of Danny by her side, helping with their baby. I knew that she was a great mom, but even great moms get tired of their job. She starts to walk out of her bedroom, but I put my hand up to stop her. “You finish, let me go check on her. I mean, I need to practice somehow,” I wink at her.
She gives me a thankful smile before she flopped onto her bed, face-first. “Or you could do that,” I mumble, shaking my head and chuckling as I made my way to the nursery.
When I stepped into the room, her screams were piercingly loud and it made me wonder just what did she need. “Shh, shh,” I tried to quiet her, reaching over the crib and picking her out of the blankets. “It's okay, Scarlett. Payton's got you,” I held her close to me, attempting to quiet her down by bouncing lightly.
She quieted just a little bit, but my efforts were not enough to make her stop crying. I then realized that maybe she needed to be changed. I placed my hand on her bottom, feeling that it did seem quite warm. I sighed-- time to be a mommy. I undid her onesie and put her down on the floor where a towel was. I assumed this was what Theresa would do, I didn't really know why else a towel would be doing here. I grabbed her a diaper and some wipes, and removed her used diaper, holding her legs together as I lifted her bum up and wiped off the mess. After she was cleaned, I placed the fresh diaper on her securely and threw away the old one, followed by putting her onesie back on. Still, she was fussy, and I couldn't figure out the reason behind it. I sighed, standing back up with her in my arms, bouncing her lightly as I tried to figure out a way to make her stop. And then I remembered something: The Hold.

I picked her up, crossing her arms over her belly and supporting her by her bottom. I tilted her forward, just a little bit, and began to rock her gently, back and forth. From there, she immediately stopped her fussing, and a small smile was now across her chubby face. “Wow,” I hear Theresa from the doorway.
I looked over at her, and I grinned lightly at her.
“I've never seen her quiet down so quickly. I was beginning to think she wasn't going to stop,” she chuckles. “What is it you're doing to her?”
“It's called The Hold. It's scientifically proven to quiet down a crying baby. I mean, I changed her too and was thinking maybe that was the problem, but she didn't stop crying. I think seeing me change her and not her own mom do it upset her, but she's all better now.”
She smiles at me, “Thank you for taking care of her for me. You really are going to be a good mom, Payton,” she reaches for her child, which I proceeded to hand over.
“You're welcome. I'm just trying to be a good friend. I really appreciate the compliment, though,” I mumble, adverting my eyes to the floor, frowning now.
“What's wrong?” she quietly asks, stepping closer to me.
“It's just... Sometimes I get cold feet about this baby, Reese.”
She places a hand on my shoulder, getting my attention. “What do you mean?”
“I'm just scared that I'm going to miscarry or have another stillborn. I haven't been able to really stop thinking this way since I found out.”
“Oh, Payton,” she nearly whispers, “I know I don't know what it's like, but I'm sure what you're feeling is normal. In fact, it probably wouldn't be normal if you didn't think like this after what you went through. Have you been taking your prenatal vitamins?”
I nod to her.
“I'm sure you're going to be fine. I have high hopes for you and Jorel. I want you to have this baby just as badly as you do.”
A single tear sneaks its way out of my eye as I hastily wipe it away. “Thank you, so much. That's all I wanted to hear.” I give her a genuine, thankful smile.
She puts Scarlett back into her crib before she pulls me into a tight hug.
“And this is all I need. A hug.”

-+-+-+-

“Babe!” Jorel's voice chimes into my ear through my phone. “Are you leaving yet?”
“Jorel, you've got to be joking. I'm not even on the plane, yet,” I laugh, crossing my legs to prevent them from shaking with nerves.
“You're not?” he whines.
I sigh, “No, J. But I promise you I’ll be there before you know it! You know I’m excited to see you.”
“I know, Pay, I know,” I could just picture the perfect smile across his face as he says this. “I'm just teasing. I'm just... really impatient. You should've been here, like, yesterday.”
I roll my eyes at his foolishness, but smile nonetheless. “You're such a dork. You're the one who bought the damn tickets.”
He chuckles lowly. “Yeah, you're right. But I'm your dork.”
I felt my eyes roll on their own, yet again.

“Now boarding: Flight T1.”

“Okay, babe, I gotta go now. I'll see you whenever my plane lands. I promise I’ll call you the second I can!”
“Great, can't wait to see you. Have a safe flight.”
I smile, “Thanks, and I will. I can't wait to hug and kiss you.”
“Me either. I love you.”
“I love you too. See you soon.”
I tapped on the end call button, and looked over at Theresa who was nearly jumping in her seat with excitement. “Ready?”
“Boy, am I?!” she practically yells.
“Shh! You're in public, you know,” I rolled my eyes for the third time today, and stood while shouldering my pocketbook.
“I know,” she mumbled as if she were a child being scolded.
She mirrored my movements and we made our ways to the kiosk for them to scan our boarding passes. Once through, we searched for our seats which were right on the wing. I motioned for her to get the window seat, considering I may or may not get sick during this flight. She pointed a finger at me in her gesture meaning “good point” before she sat down. I took my seat next to her, immediately trying to get comfortable. The worst part about flying is not really be able to stretch out-- and when you can, these seats don't move very much at all. I sigh, rubbing my neck as I tried to calm my nerves that began to act up now that I was seated. I never in my life had a problem flying, not even my first time when I was all by myself. But now that I'm pregnant? Forget it, my stomach was doing flips. As soon as we were told to fasten our seat belts, I bolted to the tiny bathroom and barely got the door shut before I puked.

I knelt down for a while to make sure I really emptied my stomach before cleaning up and leaving. I was way too embarrassed to leave and go sit back down for some reason. Just as I thought I was finished, the plane began to move while I washed up. I knew that in a brief moment the plane was gonna take off down that run way and there was no way I was going to get back to my seat just fine. I sighed, washed my hands and face, and braced myself. Clearly I didn't have that strong of a grip, because when it did, I stumbled back. “Here we go again,” I moaned, leaning over the toilet and throwing up yet again. This was not going to be fun flight.
I sat down on the floor and waited til I could feel the plane even out in the air. Even then I was a little hesitant to walk back to my seat-- what if we entered turbulence and I threw up on someone? I exhaled harshly and picked myself up off the floor. I quickly washed myself again, and scurried my way back to my seat before plopping myself down next to Theresa. “You alright?” she asks, placing her phone down on her lap.
I nod lightly, resting my head against my seat. “I feel like this is going to be the longest plane ride, ever.”
“That bad, huh?”
“Twice. I puked twice in there. We've been on this plane for like ten minutes.”
She chuckles lightly before patting my leg, “There, there. It'll be over before you know it. Let me try to keep your mind off of the flight. Have you figured out how you're gonna tell Jorel?”

Crap. I knew I forgot something.

“Nope,” I say, popping the 'p'.
“You should show him a pregnancy test. That's how I told Danny; I just stuck it under his pillow one night.”
I grimaced at her, “That's gross. I mean, I'd be all for showing him one but hello? I got tested at the hospital, remember?”
“Oh yeah,” she trails off, rubbing her chin in a quizzical way.
I sighed, throwing my head back again. “Who knows, maybe I'll just blurt it out like I did to my parents the first time.”
“C'mon, that's lame! You gotta do something exciting. Like... Play a game with him or something.”
“Maybe. I have no idea what I would do for that, but whatever. I wish I was far along enough to have an ultrasound picture for him.”
“That would be cute. How far along are you, anyways?”
I looked up towards the left, counting out on my fingers. It's been three weeks into his tour, I was sick two weeks before that which would be my morning sickness now that I think about it. We had sex maybe a week or two before that. “It's hard to know without my doctor giving me her estimate. I'm going with six weeks.”
“Hm... What if you made him choose a number between one and ten or something. So if he picked a number... Say... Seven. Tell him to go back one, and say that you're six weeks pregnant.”
I nodded my head at the idea, it wasn't that bad of idea but how was I going to initiate this game?Who knows, maybe I'll just blurt it out like before.
“I don't know Reese,” I breathed. “I'll figure it out eventually.”
“Eventually is later today. Remember that.”