Just Say When

The next day at school was weird. I got there on time, and made sure that I sat somewhere where he couldn't sit next to me. He walked into the room and looked lost, compared to how cool he looked yesterday. Suddenly a pang of guilt hit me.

He looked a time or two, and I looked more. The more I observed the warmer this feeling in my stomach got. God, he was so cute, and he'd KISSED ME. HE kissed ME. Why'd I walk away? I can take a risk being hurt...

The other side of me seemed to be tapping at me to get my attention as if to say "Haven't you seen and had enough of that shit?"

Then I figured out why I was doubting him again. Kelley Dennison was hitting on him, of course. Fuck, why'd I let him sit there? He'll be with her in no time.

Alex looked over to me once again with those beautiful dark eyes. So soft and sweet, just like his lips. FUCK FUCK FUCK no. He's Kelley's new prey and I don't stand a chance. No. No no no no no. Why do I need to keep repeating this to myself?

* * * * * * * * * * *

At lunch I sat in my usual spot, with a book. I settled into "The Dead-Tossed Waves" and got lost somewhere else. I'm drinking in the words as my light is suddenly dimmed. Thinking it was a cloud, I looked up to see the sky, but instead met eyes again.

"Hey." He said, even his speaking voice sounding like music.

"Why aren't you with Kelley?" I mumbled.

He sat down next to me and said, "Elle, the one next to her was the only open one." He says evenly.

I raised my eyebrows and pursed my lips slightly. "Well you didn't seem to mind her hanging on you like she was." I shot.

"Couldn't you see me staring at YOU?" He says helplessly.

"You should be with Kelley, Alex..." I said.

"You really don't get it."

"You kissed me out of pity. You can leave now, like everyone else."

"You really and truly think I'd just go?" He looks at me, amazed.

"I can't trust anyone, Alex."

And for the second glorious time in my life, Alex Gaskarth kissed me.