I Love You, but I Fear Love

"Ember, don't let me fall, please!." I looked down at Gerard's face and saw pure terror as he was hanging over the edge of the cliff. I tried to run over to him as his hands started slipping off the edge.

"Gerard! Hang on, please, please." I felt the hot, sticky tears running down my face as I realized
I was stuck in place.

"Ember!" I sobbed as one of his hands slipped.

"This is all my fault!" I screamed as his fingers continued to slip. The last finger slipped as he fell off the cliff. His agonizing scream ripped through my heart, along with the sobs that ripped through my chest and mouth.

I woke up sobbing into my pillow with a confused-looking Matthew standing over me.

"November? Are you alright?" He asked, pure emotion flickering in his eyes behind the confusion. I calmed myself down, telling myself it was only a dream. When I was finally calm enough to speak, I looked up at my sibling.

"Y-yeah, why?" I asked, taking in a shuddering breath.

"You were screaming, and when I walked in, you were sobbing and saying that it was all your fault." I closed my eyes, wishing that he hadn't heard me.

"What's going on, November?" I looked up into his eyes, seeing real, raw emotion. He actually cared about what I had to say. I sighed and then told him everything, even the part about agreeing with Gerard that we had to 'sneak around', up until the dream I just had. When I finished, I looked down and felt tears roll down my cheeks.

I suddenly felt Matthew's arms wrap around my shoulders as he pulled to his chest. I was surprised, but I didn't question it. This was the most we had bonded since I got here.

We finally pulled away and Matthew gave me a sad smile. He pushed my shoulders so I was laying down and he pulled the blankets up around me. What he did next, though, surprised me the most. He leaned down and kissed my forehead.

"Good night, November. Everything's gonna be okay." He gave me one last smile before walking out of my room, leaving me to fall asleep again.

I woke up again the next morning from a dreamless sleep. I got ready for school and we left. I was anxious to see Gerard, just to prove to myself that the dream was only that; a dream. I parked the car and, after a brief hug from Matthew, walked over to Gerard.

Well, ran probably fits what I was doing better than walked. Luckily, Gerard was facing me and saw me coming, so I put on more speed and jumped into his arms, clinging to his shirt.

"Well, good morning to you, Ember." He chuckled at me, but held me tight. Finally, I proved to my heart that it was indeed a dream.

The rest of the day passed by quickly, as did the rest of the week. As Gerard and I got closer and closer, I still felt that little tugging sensation in the pit of my stomach, reminding me that I was probably risking his life just for my happiness. But when he sent me that smile, or held my hand as he looked into my eyes, I realized that it wasn't just my happiness that was being affected by this; it was his, too.

The blow of Elena, Gerard and Mikey's grandmother, leaving them was still around, but as far as I knew, Gerard hadn't tried getting into drugs since I yelled at him.

It was Saturday again, and I was going to hand out at Gerard and Mikey's, though I told Sasha I was going to Frankie's. She's met him and she actually likes him, so she let me go.

"Hey!" I called as I got out of the car. Mikey looked up from tuning his bass and smiled widely at me.

"Hey, Ember!" I walked into the garage and gave him a quick hug.

"Where's your brother?" I asked. I suddenly was lifted off the ground by a familiar pair of pale arms. I laughed and squealed, while kicking around.

"Gerard, put me down!" I squealed. His laugh filled the garage as he finally put me down. I turned around and hugged him tightly. He chuckled and hugged me back.

I heard another car pull up and looked up to find Frankie, Ray, and Bob all getting out of it. I smiled and let go of Gerard to say hi.

"Ember!" Frankie yelled and ran towards me. I ran towards him, too, and I was suddenly lifted off the ground yet again. For a small guy, he's sure strong.

"Frankie! Put me down!" I laughed as he spun around. He finally put me down and as I dizzily stumbled, Ray caught me in a light hug. I giggled and hugged him back. After, I gave Bob a hug and then they all started to tune their instruments, or in Bob and Gerard's case, check the sound.

When they finally finished, I sat in a chair by Mikey and looked at Gerard.

"We just came up with this one; It's called Skylines and Turnstiles." He smiled at me and the guys started playing. As soon as Gerard started singing, I was hypnotized. His voice was honestly amazing. They were all amazing.

I was so caught up in the song that I didn't even realize that it ended.

"Well?" I looked over at Frankie, who looked like a little, wriggling puppy.

"It was amazing!" I said, a smile forming on my face. Gerard's face broke into a smile as he walked over to envelope me in a hug.

"You really liked it?" He asked, looking deep into my eyes.

"I loved it." I said, smiling. He smiled and pressed his lips to mine. I smiled into the kiss and held him close. We broke apart and He gave me one more smile before walking over to Frankie, Ray, and Bob to converse. Mikey walked over to me and sat down in the chair next to me.

We watched the boys for a while before he spoke.

"You really like my brother, don't you?" I glanced over at him and nodded. He turned to looked at me and smiled. "Good, because he really likes you." I smiled and turned back to the boys. Gerard glanced over to me and gave me a quick smile before paying attention to the boys again.

"You've really been a big help for him, you know? Ever since you yelled at him about the drugs, he hasn't touched them. He hasn't even gone near alcohol, either." I smiled. At least I was helping him stay away from the stuff that could kill him.

"I'm glad." I said quietly, glancing at Mikey again. He smiled and then walked over to the other guys.

Maybe nothing will happen to him. I hope nothing will hurt him; he has such a bright future. He doesn't need my curse ruining it.